Accountability for All

Day 9 going on, flatline seems to be hitting now, I had an erotic, pornographic, dream and felt an orgasm during my sleep but eventually I found no shade of a wetdream, maybe I somehow in-jaculated with some unconscious genitals frictions with the blanket or mattress, this is a little confusing because I'm bothered by the potential energetic loss and at the same time I can't blame myself because if that happened I was sleeping and dreaming and therefore unaware. No morning's hard on yet but I can force them a little if I fantasize, which is nefarious anyway. And heat is also a trigger for erections. But I can experience almost random erections at my job currently, by thoughts or simply looking at a girl. So I'm just getting better. I experienced a little peak in energy, productivity perhaps, but I'm still strugling to get out of bed on time at 5 or 6:30am (and so sleeping on time before 10pm) and getting the things of my personal schedule done on time. By the way, I have alarms with the app Smart Alarms that I have to set up in a way that prevent me from drifting away in time-wasting distraction like internet useless use especially.
Now gotta get up, eat, take a shower and go to the wage slavery, and then hopefully outwork it at my studio apartment with housekeeping and online business. I wanna be free !

 

I read all your comments. It's interesting how many people abandons this thread, but not only this thread but this whole NoFap thing! I think that's the real problem.

I have to say that I can't complete 2 weeks without PMO, I always reset on the secont week because I MO and that leads to do PMO days later (when I MO not only I feel the failure, but I feel that It wasn't worth it and days later I think "maybe I should try with P. and it will worth it" and after resisting I end up resetting).
I need to change, No PMO, no MO, not O at all. I'm loosing so much time focusing on this adicction, I could be coding, studying or even breakfasting, but no, I relapsed today... I'm hungry, but I don't need food as much as I need to get out of this adicction.
I lied, "I can't complete 2 weeks without PMO" is crap. I CAN complete 2 weeks without PMO, but I need your support. I promess I'll be posting in this thread everyday, please stay strong, relapsing makes you feel good at the begining but quickly results in misery. Long lasting misery. Makes you feel that your family doesn't love/support you, that life is meaningless, that your friends don't like you, that you have no friends, that everyone is better than you, that you are a dissapointment, that you will fail your whole life, makes you feel scared. BUT ALL THOSE FEELINGS ARE A LIE AND YOU WILL FEEL THEM IF YOU RELAPSE! DON'T YOU DARE!

I love you all, you have such great potential and are to do great things in your life, you are just delaying them for momental pleasure.

 

It has become routine over the past 6 months or so to masturbate in the morning when I wake up. I go to the bathroom and sit on the toilet for 30 or so minutes and browse porn, hentai, or even reddit for erotic material.
However, today was not like that. I decided to leave my phone in my room when I went to the restroom. It feels good to have that kind of self control now.

I started using an application called brainbuddy a few months back. When I initialy got it, I was successful in making it to 5 days with no porn or masturbation. The app sets up morning routines and cool daily activities to do which helps your mind stay away from all the erotic stuff. It costs like 12.99 a month, but they give you a free week which is worth it if you want to eventually use it. Not trying to advertise, but it may be helpful for some.

Today is only day 1 of my goal to 7 days, so I am treading softly. It has been a pattern that I become serious about stopping my habits at the beginning of a committment, and then slowly crash and burn and give in to my erotic thoughts.

Wish me luck, and I wish everyone in this thread good fortune in your endeavours. This shit is not easy. We are developing as human beings when we decide to demonstrate self control. WE CAN DO THIS!

 

I also sometimes manage to make it a week or so with no PMO, but eventually mess the whole system up by MO. So then I consequently watch porn as a result to "feel better".

It is crazy how alike all of our stories are. I'm comforted by the idea that I am not alone in this, and that some have it better or worse. You got this Tuna. Let's keep at it!

 

I also sometimes manage to make it a week or so with no PMO, but eventually mess the whole system up by MO. So then I consequently watch porn as a result to "feel better".

It is crazy how alike all of our stories are. I'm comforted by the idea that I am not alone in this, and that some have it better or worse. You got this Tuna. Let's keep at it!

 

What a way to start the day! I'm glad today was not like that, but you need to make it much more difficult to access porn. Secondly, write out what you want in life, a life vision, if you will. You have to replace PMO with something good for you. Read peoples' success stories. Learn from them.

Fuck 7 day challenges, 30 day challenges, 90 day challenges. Be done with this once and for all. I guarantee if you make it to 7 days, you'll relapse on day 8 because that's all you are focusing on, a day count. This is why I said you need to have major, long-term goals in life. And then recognize how PMO makes achieving those goals that much harder.

 

Day 94

Hey guys, I haven't updated in a while because I've been trying to keep busy. It's over 90 days and I feel really good. There isn't that much of a difference but I don't feel as deflated, tired, and anxious as I used to. It's definitely been worth it. I've become more focused as well, like I love reading and applying my musical skills. I don't really know what I'm like socially but with my family, I'm not as scared of them. I wouldn't say I'm cured but I'm on my way there.

Here are some quick tips, hopefully, they're useful:
I like to pretend there's a ghost in the room. Seriously I do that.
If what you're doing alone is embarrassing if someone saw you, stop.
Always have your reason to quit written down.
Write down how you feel after a relapse and keep it handy.
Really figure out why you have this addiction, for me, it was trauma and lack of power.
Meditate every day for 10-15 minutes.

That's all I have right now.
Later!

 

I am in starting from today

 

We should make a group !

 

The only reason I am typing this is because I said I would keep up with this thread and feel guilty that i'm not. The problem is, I don't quite benefit from this website as much as I do from myself. Granted I relapsed today, I feel like I am able to shift my intrusive thoughts a little better than before.

However I appreciate that there are other people that are like me. I use to feel alone about it and weird but once I let that perception go my mood started seeing dramatic changes. I've been running around the block and working out in the garage which feels good and keeps me busy in quarantine. Also playing a lot more video games than usual cause what else is there to do.

If I can just get my self control mastered.... till next time.

 

I can't wait for quarantine to be over also, but as long as we're in this situation see it as an opportunity to do more positive things: We now have more time to meditate, read, study, workout at home without any equipment (I recommend Athlean X on youtube), cook more, etc. Use your time wisely and you'll come out the quarantine a better man than you entered it.

 

day 20.

 

Set a porn blocker on my browser and made my brotoher set a password. I figure if I am stuck at home I can use my brother as an accountability partner.

Also, I have created a new reason to abstain from PMO which is kinda fun to me. I am imagining that the urge to masturbate or watch porn is a demon or a shadow over me and the only way I can defeat it is thru meditation, reading, playing guitar, etc. I have been playing the Witcher 3 and I think the fantasy aspect is getting to me lol. Anyways, I'll let you all know how that works out. I feel good about it.

Till next time.

 

Day 1 complete. I am guilty of looking through girls accounts on instagram which arroused me, but wasn't enough to masturbate. About 45 mins ago I looked through some reddit hentai, milfs, slight porn. I realize this is technically a relapse, but I still made it 24 hours without viewing porn.

Regardless, I stopped what I was doing when i realized what I was doing and went to work out in my garage. Quarantine started to get to me today. Also, it is important to note that once I was alone in my room, I gave myself an excuse to look at that erotic material. I want to view it so bad, but I am going to push forward and count this as a win for now.

Till next time.

 

Day 97

I've been having a few urges but I haven't acted on them. They're mainly triggered by loneliness. I've tried reaching out to some people both who I know and complete strangers but I haven't got much of a response.

Lately, I've been looking into religion and how they deal with their struggles. I'm not a religious man but religious people overall are happier then none religious people. So I've been trying to find people who are religious and trying to get insight into why they're happier than others and other things such as discipline. So far I haven't been really successful so if anyone wants to reach out to me you're more then welcome.

 

I'm not religious either, but, I've asked myself the same question. Two things come up for me:

1) Religion gives people a sense of community. You don't need religion to seek out connection with others. There are plenty of groups you can join.

2) There is wisdom in every belief system. Suspend your disbelief when reading/ studying it and you will find universal truths.

 

i am also up to this i will post daily in this thread till i didnt achieve my goal

 

Day 1 completed of 90 days streak feeling good right now next target day 2