Can't Even Make 5 Days

Hey -

It's really hard what you're trying to do. The amount of people here and the stories they tell are testimony to that, so read a bunch of them and get a sense that there are people here who understand deeply the process you're in and the desire to stop.

I am here for the same reason, but at 48 instead of 21, and my online chat habit has taken up so much of my life and brain space, so I certainly understand, and I am new here, so I don't want to sound like a fount of good advice or anything. But for me, one important part of this process when I have succeeded in stopping in the past, and that I am especially focused on now, is stopping the process of feeling like a failure because of this, or seeing it, as you put it, as f@&king up. What I mean is that the self-loathing and the self-recrimination will never be part getting past this - in fact, for me, they are a central part of not stopping, because they create the anxiety and the need for escape that always lead me right back into it.

Be patient, and stay focused, and be compassionate to yourself the way you will be to others here when you read around and learn their stories. That's the most important part: be compassionate to yourself. You can do this, and at 21, you have so many reasons to make it a priority. I wish you the best in your journey with this, and I affirm to you that it is worth doing.

Best,

Neal

 

The fact that you've taken initiative shows that you're willing to overcome this sexual imbalance. If you want to last longer than 5 days try keep a daily agenda on you. Set several daily goals for yourself to help you redirect your focus of energies elsewhere. Keep at it. You'll definitely find other coping methods on this site. I've gone for one month and relapsed, but what I've personally found to be really effective during "combat" situations is reminding myself of feelings of guilt, shame and disgust that I've felt after relapsing, thus having to "bite the bullet" in exchange for feelings of self respect and honor. Even now as I write, I know my willpower is being tested, but I am never going down that road again. I rather experience the pain of testicular swelling from abstinence than shame and guilt from PMO. Kudos to you for joining NoFap. I know it changed my life and can change yours too, if you let it. Best of luck with your battles, my friend. Wage on.

over and out..

 

You've just stumbled upon one of the keys to overcoming your desires. Stay active! Most men feel at least somewhat motivated and energized when they haven't fapped for a few days, so many of us use that to get into exercise or some other activity that we can use to occupy our bodies and keep our minds off the elephant in the room. Even if it's a hobby, or just going for long walks outdoors, it'll help keep you away from your triggers. Suddenly cessation of fapping affects each man differently, but most seem to report that staying clean gets easier with the passage of time. Urges come father apart, and we learn better how to deal with them. So, the result is that the early part is the hardest part. Once you get over that hump, I won't say that it's all coasting downhill from there, but it does get easier. If you slip up and relapse, don't beat yourself up. Be proud of whatever new record duration you accomplished, figure out the causes of your relapse, and resume not fapping immediately.

 

To echo what others have said, you've taken the initiative, and you've discovered this place, which will certainly help you maintain it. If 5 days is your personal best, go for 6 and be proud to achieve it - we're all on the same side, but we're all fighting our own battle, and there's no need to measure yourself against anyone. Still feeling ok at 6 days? You've got a new personal best, and that's absolutely worth celebrating in itself. When you're ready, go for 10, and so on. Whichever way you go, there's plenty of support here.

 

Not boxing no, but sport/exercise generally can be very useful. Cycling works for me!