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To have sex, or to not have sex? That is the question...

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by kdj101, May 30, 2015.

  1. kdj101

    kdj101 Fapstronaut

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    If I could get laid right now, but only once and that's it...would this set me up for a "chaser" temptation relapse with a PMO session? I am about two weeks PMO free right now. 14 or 15 days I think.
     
  2. kdj101

    kdj101 Fapstronaut

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    To clarify...if I go have sex with this girl, but then come back home later and will not see her again until tomorrow... am I going to be more at risk to be tempted to PMO?
     
  3. No more nuts

    No more nuts Fapstronaut

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    Ok speaking from experience on my no pmo attempts, everytime I have had sex just once with a girl I got soo horny the next morning lol.
    I did end up PMO'ing and multiple times the day after the sex.
    I don't know what it is but I had crazy flashbacks and fantasies about the sex, I think its the fantasies that make you horny which then make you wanna PMO.

    But from my experience again, PERSONALLY its not worth It to have one off sex, you cant just give any girl 2 weeks worth of your hard earned and stored sperm lol.
    I had sex on one of my previous reboots last month and I was 17 days strong, everything Im telling you now happened to me.
    Its like you're giving the girl a small part of your soul idk lol.

    Im not saying sex is bad but I dont feel as powerful as I did when I was celebate during my journey even though I O'd with an actual girl.

    The choice is yours though just be careful of the potential urges the next day man.
     
  4. DeusEx_Timelord

    DeusEx_Timelord Fapstronaut

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    I'd say go for sex. If you're craving it and it's been a while, there's no point on denying it because you'll just rationalise it to yourself later by jerking off by thinking "well, I have to have something." The mindset of sex versus self-pleasure is very different and much healthier. You're needlessly torturing yourself by denying it if you genuinely want it.
     
  5. supergolum

    supergolum Fapstronaut

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    I would say it all depends on the mindset you have about that sex? What I mean is that, the main reason why we have a problem with porn and PMO is that we came to objectify women, see them as stimulations, only a click away. Now if you get out there and have random sex with a random girl, you really are just PMOing with a girl.

    Should you seek a meaningfull relationship with someone and have sex with them? Absolutely, it might help you reconnect with a natural sex life eventually.
    Should you have sex with a random girl where you get nothing but sex in return? IMO, that's just another form of PMO, so no.
     
    691015 likes this.
  6. DeusEx_Timelord

    DeusEx_Timelord Fapstronaut

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    I disagree. Sex with anyone has far more chemistry and reciprocity than the lifelessness of print or the formulaic confides of audio-visual. The adrenaline flows differently not to mention just the overall feel and method of how you do your thing.
     
  7. Harley

    Harley Fapstronaut

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    Energy and chemistry are initially the key components. As men, we are going after women for sex...not seeking some meaningful relationship. If they like the sex, and become even more "sexually attracted" to us, then let them form a relationship out of it. If that's what they want. For some, Nofap turns addicts into effeminate WEAK males. When you finally do decide to return to the real world, these females are going to either use you or simply avoid giving you what you want. Meaningful relationship? I have higher priorities in my life, like my career, things I'm passionate about, my friends, and family.
     
    Last edited: May 31, 2015
  8. wildwood

    wildwood Fapstronaut

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    I'm pretty sure having sex only for a release without guilt is not the way to go. You will have a chaser that will tempt you into a relapse. By using another woman and just never bothering with her ever again is as if clicking on a new video on a p site. If you do decide to go ahead with this I suggest making it very clear you are only looking for sex, don't push false hope. Be a better person by not stooping down to a low level. But I suggest waiting at least 2 months pmo free, you need to learn how to control yourself. I know what it's like being used as a human masterbation toy, it's degrading. Even after sex he would still crave pmo (even after multiple sessions), because he was only chasing the pleasure and he was desensitized from so much pmo. It was empty and meaningless. It's a shitty feeling. Now it's different and much more satisfying with more passion and even awesome loving cuddling. But it's all up to you, don't hurt someone else for your own selfish pleasure. Good luck and stay strong!
     
    691015 likes this.
  9. Mike98

    Mike98 Fapstronaut

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    Porn already made you weak. Isn't that why you're here? NoFap doesn't make men weak. Porn does. So much for higher priorities.
     
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  10. Harley

    Harley Fapstronaut

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    It made you weak Mike, not me. I have REAL sex that doesn't require porn or fantasy for me to achieve incredible orgasms. You must still be stuck in nofapatory... You'll get there one day. Until then, continue posting here daily, abstaining, and avoiding REAL sex.
     
  11. Harley

    Harley Fapstronaut

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    @wildwood Are you a female? I ask because only females and effeminate males talk like that.
     
  12. wildwood

    wildwood Fapstronaut

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    I say sex is fine between two consenting adults, for me its different because I was already into a relationship but for the OP I'm not clear on the details so I gave the whole 'your choice' or whatever you call it. Misleading people sucks cheese balls, but as long as he's clear it's fine. If I were to hook up with a guy I would make my intentions clear "I only want sex, no attachment" straight to the point (if it actually gets hot and heavy). I don't know if he has feelings or she does but he is also only two weeks in. He should give himself time to prioritize and figure what he wants is all I'm saying. Opinions are likes assholes, everyone's got one. And yes I happen to be a female. fanfliptastic.
     
  13. Harley

    Harley Fapstronaut

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    Struck of nerve mike? At least porn, internet, and video games didn't desensitize you from everything.
     
  14. wildwood

    wildwood Fapstronaut

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    Actually I'm in a committed relationship, and anyone can be a slut if they wanted to I suppose. Life choices, am I right? Or wrong. Whatever floats people's boats. I'm more of a one chick, one dick kind of gal. Love me some committed relationship nooky.
     
  15. Harley

    Harley Fapstronaut

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    Mike , come out of your room and actually live a little. You'll be surprised at the pitches LIFE throws at you. Sometimes you get a run, knock it out of the park, sometimes you strike. The beautiful thing about it is that you get to play the game as long as you draw breath.
     
  16. WOTL

    WOTL Fapstronaut

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    Only you can answer this question. But sex just for "release" can become easily a form of obsessive compulsion. If you are in this forum, it is perhaps because this can be an issue. Why not have sex with someone you can be committed to through an intimate, meaningful relationship? Sex without intimacy is void of meaning and unlikely to contribute to your self-development.
     
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  17. Pfree

    Pfree Fapstronaut

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    I can only share opinion based on my experience.
    If the sex didn't completely satisfy you, the temptation to release what was supposed to be released during sex will be huge. It will feel like simple justice to release it.
    That's kind of dangerous I guess.

    But if you're confident and you know this can happen, then I suppose it's OK. Isn't sex part of the general recovery process anyway? That's the point isn't it? You just need to be confident you won't relapse to the old habit of fapping to porn. And only you know this.

    That's how I think about it.
     
  18. Amorati

    Amorati Fapstronaut

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    I thik after rebooting 90 days is allowed to have real sex.

    Because real sex is intimacy,touching,smelling,courtship. a real experiencie.In porn you are alone.
    For me is allowed of course,we are not asexual, but after complete the 90 days i will go for real sex and never PMO
     
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