Hocd

This happens more than you think. You have to stop watching porn. Those thoughts will go away.. what you are doing is leading you down a rabbit hole of anxiety, stress and depression.

 

I have been going through the same and currently am. Last night i watched some lesbian porn and was hard the whole way through it i never jerked off to it because i didnt want to ejaculate as thats when thoughts spiral for me. i currently am on day 5 of no wanking and seems to be getting so much better, im starting to love my girlfriend even more too

 

Hey guys I am in a very similar situation and have been going through HOCD myself for the past 4 years on and off. My HOCD started through a my hand and foot fetish, as I'd see anyone with their nails done wether it's.guy or girl and id have instant arousal. I went to a psychologist for this as I thought I was gay. Turned out I had fetishized disorder, since then I have been trying to recover and out of nowhere my mind has moved to the thought of cross dressing. The first three times I tried it and didn't get aroused however today I tried wearing heels with the female attire and got stimulated. I have never experienced this before and is kinda making me think I'm a cross dresser. I have always been into women but this is kinda scaring me now. Are these just signs of withdrawals and my mind playing tricks on me to make me think that there's a chance I could be gay or have I constantly had this cross dressing urge and never known about it ???

 

Hi Ezg...

My husband has felt with this off and on for a long, long time. We have talked about him joining the community for therapy and to help others.
He has always suffered from anxiety, depression and stress. Porn was his way to self medicate to soothe himself and forget past hurts. As you probably have read when vanilla porn doesn't do it for you anymore you progress into more shocking material.
You are there...
Stop watching porn and start thinking back on how you felt before you even started watching porn.
Was there past trauma? Insecurities?
Take care.

 

A hard reboot of no PMO for 90 days will help greatly. Your story shows you to be a str8 man and no amount of conditioning nor P can turn you gay.

I know with COVID it is difficult to find real women to go out with. Yet, that is where a good solid foundation of a reboot will help. Plus, with the COVID social distancing, stay away from PMO and when this stay at home orders are lifted, you will be ready to date females and become the str8 man you have always been.

Beware of the term HOCD, it's a nonscientific label that many are way too quick to slap on people. Your problem in with PMO and your mind will naturally turn back to human women after a no PMO hard reboot.

 

Hey bro and welcome! Just wanted to let you know that you're not alone. Unfortunately too many people here are battling with the same case as yours..
Please, check out this amazing thread:

https://forum.nofap.com/index.php?threads/5-years-struggle-severe-hocd-transexual-porn.129195/

I find it as one of the most successful overcoming HOCD stories i've seen here.
Lots of good information about how to deal with it and to recover!

Stay away from porn and masturbating! There's no point in coming back to what gave you so many problems!

Good luck! And keep us updated

 

Hey @Helpme13

Watching porn is the last thing that will show you anything true. Everything about porn is a lie.

You do not need to prove you are straight. If you know you are straight and have always been straight, then the lies you find in porn will not help you.

A hard reboot for 90 days will help you.

You will find yourself frustrated at first and you will want to turn the lies found in porn back on -Don't do it!

As you start your journey of semen retention, you will want to exercise more, you will groom yourself better and you will become more confident.

In short, a cleaner, better groomed, more confident you won't need porn. You will find that you are more attractive and that women notice you more.

When that voice in your head doubts your resolve, turn an inner eye to your doubt and say to that voice, "Everything about porn is a lie. Why would I want to watch a lie?"

No matter how many times you have to say the mantra, "Everything about porn is a lie. Why would I want to watch a lie?"

More importantly, how can a thing that is a lie help you find the truth about yourself?

Tell me something in porn that is not a lie.

Spoiler: Descriptions of the Lies in Porn - Click to Open

Do most women just flip off their clothes when the pizza guy shows up? Do the women in your life seemingly have to always bend over while wearing no underpants to pick up something off the floor? Do you ever see that in real life?

See? Porn is a lie - tell yourself, "Everything about porn is a lie. Why would I want to watch a lie?"

-- D2L

 

You have to find a healthy addiction to replace the bad one
My husband is reading books about trauma and addiction. Working in his garden and talking to me and a therapist
You have that internal struggle going on which causes stress and anxiety and that has to stop so you can begin healing.