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Teddy Bear - 90 Days (accidentally hardmode)

Discussion in 'Success Stories' started by cakewalk, May 9, 2020.

  1. Does it count as hardmode, if you haven't been able to get laid?

    Well, my "fap watch"-app first showed me 90 days and still the level of "Resilient Bastard", but it should have been "Master", so I got a little bit frustrated. But then after 90 days and 1 hour it finally switched to "Master". It's looking very good, I can't stop looking at it.

    Well, I realized, the longer you do it, the smaller do your achievements and changes occur to you. In the beginning, when I was struggling and over-motivated at the same time, everything was a "superpower", but now I realize, it is just the normal powers humans should have. I think I realized that the changes in themselves are small, but they make a huge difference in your life.

    So I still stick to my theory, that since human brains are neural networks, you really fuck up the lifelong learning process, if you give the brain unearned gratification like porn. Since I started nofap, especially fom around day 75 - 90, I feel more and more, that I am able to come up with creative solutions for interpersonal conflicts and that I can adapt very quickly to the circumstances. Before it was like, "oh I have some problems in life and in relationships, ok, just do some pmo and forget about it, next time I don't care, if I do the same mistakes over and over again".
    Before nofap I often was really pissed and searched for the problems outside and blamed it on the world and the society, but now thanks to nofap I can stay calm and analyze how I can do things better next time.

    I think I even learned how to manage and deal better with my emotions and have a more wiser mindset, making more long-term-oriented decisions. I learned that the word "wisdom" in fact describes the core of a truthful relationship with reality (and not some otherwordly Jedi esoteric sh*t).

    So because of my messed up knee and some very challenging chronic psychosomatic illnesses I gave up the One Punch Man Challenge, which I started around day 46 and kept up for 20 days and after a break for another 5-6 days.

    But from today I started to try to not overchallenge myself and implement some microhabits, like doing sports on a very low level, but at least persistently every day or doing yoga and learning in my language app just 5 minutes every day. There is anyways enough stuff to do every day with studying and shit.

    Ah yeah, and I learned one important thing: Often I heard in my life the phrase that one's ego is one's biggest enemy. I never paid much attention to it, because I thought it's just some inspirational postcard quote. But if you do nofap very long, you start to become just a little bit more compassionate to other people than before. And then you realize that about over 95 % of one's problems (at least concerning my own person) is owed to one's ego, in a sense, that you cultivate some unrealistic attitude of entitlement to get things, which in reality you really don't deserve, by the way you behave. So being able to withhold my own ego really already solves about 95 % of my problems and without nofap I would have never learned it, because pmo makes you more and more greedy.

    Edit: Don't get me wrong, I still am focused on me being my main protagonist in my life, but the ego is more like some kind of childish inner drama queen, that drags a lot of energy out of you, constantly shouts at you "pay me attention! look, what others have done to you, you deserve better!"

    Edit#2: But one ting is certain for sure: If you stop pmo, you get so much things effectively done, like studying or cleaning up your room.

    Edit#3: Sorry, I somehow posted the same thread twice, but I deleted the other one.
     
    Last edited: May 9, 2020
  2. buzzlightyear

    buzzlightyear Fapstronaut

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    Hey thanks for posting!

    You got me laughing with the first part about the master status :)

    But the above theory part really resonated. I guess I had heard of the basic concept before but the way you phrased it and put it together really struck a chord.

    (So much I had to share my further thoughts on it and related it to my own experiences over the past week.)

    Now I think about it, you could almost wonder if negative behaviour and unwanted emotions may be sought out if PMO is the default "solution"

    Where the real solution is to confront your needs and states in more healthy and fullfilling ways. Needing more creativity and thus excercising ones ability for it like you said.

    Funny thing is I've read that before but always discarded as some "fluffy pay attention to your emotions stuff"

    But loneliness can be a really strong need, which could even reach a life threathening urgency. I mean I only fap when alone.

    Lately I have been paying more attention.
    Meaning I literally ask myself in my mind "why do you want to do pmo? Or (sneaky) search p/p subs?" I ask them in a manner not for reasons as to why to do them but to look for grievances and other pains. Basically I ask myself what is wrong? Am I hurt?
    But when I do it is as if there are 2 parts of me conversing, the injured part (low dopamine) but also the part that is genuinly concerned for my wellbeing, a part that knows that PMO is not a real solution. I think as long as I allow that part to surface and to express concern and help find a more constructive solution I will be okay.

    Since reading some post here I now use the wim hof breathing technique as a relief tool. If done properly it gives me a nice natural high. I don't use it compulsively but If I feel genuinely down or irritated it really helps with calming down. Cold showers and exercise could do the same but they are sometimes not practical or desired (if already done once or twice on a day). When feeling like shit and grumpy from lack of dopamine it can be easier to convince yourself to lay down and breathe 30 times than to conquer the cold or make your clothes sweaty.
     
    cakewalk likes this.
  3. Thank you so much for your appreciation! I feel happy, that you can resonate so well.
    Thank you for your advice as well. I also have ordered the Wim Hof method last November. :)

    Greetings
     
  4. Abdul_abc

    Abdul_abc Fapstronaut

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    Congratulations man.
    Keep it up
     
    cakewalk likes this.
  5. 3ayshleh

    3ayshleh Fapstronaut

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