100 Days Without P or M - The Ultra Marathon (Started on May 15, 2020)

Day 10

 

Hello brother,

I had a 28 PMO free days in this lockdown, and several 2-3 weeks streak before. Now at day 17, relapsed twice during lockdown. And happy to say that both PMO and smoking has decreased significantly when I start to concentrate on health and some gardening during stay home time.

Hope u are doing good and inspiring others..

 

I’m experiencing tingling in my right forearm.

 

Passing by as everyday to remember that
"hey only 88 to go"

 

Still easily controlled urges for me.. I think that i have to learn better to either stop or face the bad thoughts... Its difficult but its nice and important... i can recognise every moment that it is a self improvement process and so i want to see it.

Continue strong guys!!

 

Formally speaking, with every addiction, you are faced with a series of choices: first, "do I quit?" Then, if yes, every time you are prompted "Do I relapse?", the answer should be "no." Very simple when you think of it logically. We aren't completely rational things, though, which is why there exist such things as temptation and will-power. There are moments when our mind is weak. Often, we either think up an excuse that would require a bit of effort to refute (and then postpone that effort until it's too late) or just 'push' the decision out of our minds. But I think that maintaining a clear head is a way to get over addiction and getting over the addiction helps with maintaining a clear head. (Possibly that is why some have found meditation, cold showers and things like that to be useful)

I think that having stuff to hide (like PMO addiction) makes it painful to think and in general be conscious. Being conscious and in-the-moment is a possible goal for me.

Just thought I'd share a string of thoughts

Ending of day 13.

 

---------- Day 13 -------------
Hey Runners! The miles on this run are slowly clocking up! I have to admit after my rocky start things feel much better. I am finding myself with minor urges and images in my dreams, esp when I am to wake up- it almost feels like I relapse then wake up. This has been happening last couple of nights now.
All good when im up, currently feeling great, but I know things can creep up any moment.

Quitting reddit has helped tremendously as this forum is trigger free - so less for my brain to fight.

 

Wow. I never noticed this that I'm aware of. I'll certainly know next time....

 

Woke up this morning. Hit rest room, then back to bed until alarm. My brain went straight to sex, NoFap, MO thoughts. No porn. I've really seen those images and visions taper off significantly since mid January and my first 3 week streak then. Fortunately, I'm just not into porn anymore, but when the time comes to relapse, I'll still turn there because the habit. In my journal I talked about how in April I deleted a special folder on my phone. It was mostly pics of my wife and videos of her or us. A private stash I've collected over the years. Well having it on my phone was super dangerous. Especially when she rejected sex advances. It's like I would think..."oh , you're going to have sex with me"...and the Private video would substitute her as I MO'd. Removing that access has helped a ton.

Meditation has helped me out 2 Tons! Tomorrow is my personal 2 weeks no P - No M. I can feel 3 right around the corner. Then I'll be in trouble. My danger zone fellas. I'm enjoying these "easier days" now for the Storm is brewing in my balls.

 

13/100

I still have a lot of work and I have been pretty busy lately. I don't like it but sure when you know that you have to meet a lot of people in the future then you don't want to relapse because you want to make a good impression to others.

(btw my english is not very good and I might write here just something very fast so it is possible that something what I write doesn't make any sense)

 

On to day 23,
No urges, but my sleeping cycle got disturbed.

 

Today started summer holiday from school. Need to keep learning the whole summer.