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35 and Older Accountability Group

Discussion in 'Events & Challenges' started by artifact, Nov 24, 2018.

  1. Yes, when the lockdown started I didn't feeling like doing much of anything for a couple of months because I was just so overwhelmed with stress and worry, and I couldn't get on track with my recovery either. I spent a lot of time watching TV and movies, which help me to relax. Now that things are showing signs of returning to more like normal I am starting to feel like my old self again and more productive. I think everybody is going through the same thing right now.
     
    Last edited: May 24, 2020
  2. I agree that structure is important, especially for those of us fighting P and M. Every day I make myself a to-do list that usually has twice as much as I can accomplish on it. :D But I have also found that if I push myself too hard I will rebel against my to-do list and end up scrolling my Facebook newsfeed for hours. I purchased a short DVD course called "Scientific Secrets of Self Control" (https://www.thegreatcourses.com/courses/scientific-secrets-for-self-control.html) which basically says that self-control is a limited resource. When you get overzealous and try to do too much, your self-control will run out and you will seek escape into things like junk food and alcohol and you know what. So, with this in mind, I try to be aware of how much self-control energy I have (which is basically enthusiasm) and when I start to get fatigued I allow myself to escape into something that is relaxing or fun.
     
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  3. discovery

    discovery Fapstronaut

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    This is so true. There is an amazing book out there called 'The Willpower Instinct' which echoes the same thought. It says that willpower is a resource, which like other resources can be exhausted, so we must manage and be smart about how we use what we have.

    https://www.amazon.com/Willpower-Instinct-Self-Control-Works-Matters/dp/1583335080
     
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  4. David2018

    David2018 Fapstronaut

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    I'm still here. Fucked up. Binged on porn the last few days :(
     
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  5. Same here. Doctor has me on some medicine that's got me feeling weird and I crashed and burned as soon as the weekend started.
     
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  6. GottaBFree

    GottaBFree Fapstronaut

    Me 3. Quick relapse yesterday that seemed like I just wasn’t trying.

    Back again.
     
  7. invig2020

    invig2020 Fapstronaut

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    Day 0
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    Been on a week long binge. Had no desire to restart. Kind of just accepted myself the way I am. No desire to change. But for some reason find myself here.
     
  8. NICEDUDE

    NICEDUDE Fapstronaut

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  9. David2018

    David2018 Fapstronaut

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    Reset again this morning. Just now actually. So now I need to live in fear that my wife will want to have sex because I'm really going to need until Friday after the way this weekend has been. Sucks. I hate being like this.
     
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  10. David2018

    David2018 Fapstronaut

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    Reset again!!! what a great day!
     
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  11. GottaBFree

    GottaBFree Fapstronaut

    When I reset I often tell myself it won’t be a big deal. The reality is it usually leads to a long time to get going again. It stinks.
     
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  12. discovery

    discovery Fapstronaut

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    Hey man.

    Yes, a reset can easily lead to another reset 6 hours later followed by a relapse not too much later after that. For me, sometimes I can just reset and get right back on the wagon, but other times, it can turn into a mess that can drag on a long time. Between my last streak and this one, my counter was at zero for the majority of the time for maybe three weeks.

    The thing I did right though during that period, is that I didn't let it get to my head. I knew that I would eventually get back on track. I kept logging onto nofap to reset my counter, but otherwise didn't beat myself up about it and treated it as something normal. It just takes time sometimes. With you, it may be a little more complicated since you have a wife to attend to. But still, if you kick yourself after every reset 6 hours later, it will hurt you in the long run. Treat it like coming down with the flu or something, and just know that it will run its course and soon you will be back on track. Just don't let the flu drag on for too long. Keep updating your counter, but otherwise just be patient. This is a war of attrition in many ways.
     
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  13. Circleinthesquare

    Circleinthesquare Fapstronaut

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    On and off for last 2 weeks, it really is doing my head in. I can't remember what or how....anyway Wednesday check in
     
  14. Yeah it can be really hard to get back on track. I wish I had an answer for that but until then we have to keep trying. We've talked about it being a practice before so even if you don't beat every urge we need to beat some of them. That helps give us the knowledge that we can do it and the more urges we beat the better we get at it.
     
  15. GottaBFree

    GottaBFree Fapstronaut

    It used to be more upsetting but now I take a longer look at things and realize overall things are getting better.

    P is disgusting stuff M is selfish and just not good on any level. I’m willing to work to get rid of it forever. Even when the counter isn’t getting very long I’m winning more than I’m losing in the daily battles. Some day.... and until then, it’s just time to keep working
     
  16. skinisblackmetallic

    skinisblackmetallic Fapstronaut

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    Can you talk to her about this?
     
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  17. Great advice. I know the frustration and self-loathing involved in trying to give this up. You've got to forgive yourself even if it seems like you don't deserve it.
     
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  18. I'm going to give your happiness course a shot when I get a spare minute. Thanks for sharing it.
     
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  19. @WilBil99 !! Don't know if you are still with us, but please accept my belated CONGRATS on your amazing achievement of 90 days a few days ago. You are now a member of the 90 Day Hall of Achievement and recipient of a shiny golden trophy! :emoji_trophy:
     
  20. discovery

    discovery Fapstronaut

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    Excellent! I'm really glad to hear that. It has been a game changer for me. I hope it is the same for you.

    Congrats WilBil!!
     
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