Sissy hypnosis

Hope this isn’t too triggering I had to have a cold shower and a quick word with myself, It’s like porn takes you on a journey of genres getting worse and worse over the years till you end up in a massive mess.

Spoiler: * Possibly triggering text ! *

From normal 1 on 1 porn with an oral end scene, to lesbians to lesdom to femdom, joi, then all of a sudden I’m watching compilations videos of porn women with a female voice hinting something is changing in me, you and the porn industry (who have professional psychologists working for them) know what they’re hinting and where this is going. your addiction and curiosity wants more so you go a bit deeper.. a collage of hot girls, binaural beats and a sexy reassuring voice ( something addicts crave for as their brain is unbalanced ) then bam a transwoman for that shock and massive dump of adrenaline, dopamine and taboo. Your cock engorges like never before and your head goes numb. More hot women and sex scenes flash in front of you making you not want to shut it down, then more cock and transwomen. images are flashing up programming your subconscious; Submit, sl*t, surrender, worthless limp dick, come quick looser etc.

It’s evil psychopathic toxic shit. That creates pain and worthlessness to keep you going back. The shame to addiction is like oxygen to fire and you keep punishing yourself to temporarily escape from the hell that’s going on in your head. It does make me question why there is such a high suicide rate in men and why so many people are becoming trans and bi. If 25% of google searches are for porn it’s probably got quite an influence on people! It disgusts me that the industry is aloud to do this to people. But people are paid off, expensive solicitors find loopholes and even scientists are paid to claim that porn is not addictive and damaging. Surgeons make millions etc.Maybe living your life focussing on the negativity of the system is damaging but I think being aware of it is important too. Has anybody else noticed that a lot of the music in the charts is pointing and triggering to this sort of porn?
I’m 31 days in recovery at the moment but have been battling this for a while, this time I feel I have the tools to get through and live the life I deserve and and put that hideous garbage behind me. Peace

 

Yea absolutely it does try trick and brainwash you, ive stayed off it for a while now but last time I watched it had got worse,

Spoiler: Spoiler alert

[ trying to glorify going trans and being used by male clients it’s pretty sick stuff. Luckily I’ve got quite a strong side of me that enjoys taking the lead in sex. I think I just enjoyed letting go of control and seeing a compilation of hot women with the extra shock factor thrown in with all of the Hypnotic beats it felt a bit like a weird porn rave trip!

 

Yea you’re right it’s very dangerous. it started off as watching women in pvc exciting, and felt I wanted a bit of a challenge and being seduced, living out some fantasies. I started visiting Dom escorts and would have some wild sex. But would spend a lot of money and time searching for that perfect hit. one of the girls i met with often was pretty messed up, gambling, drugs and lied a lot, living with her parents but using a guest house down the garden to entertain punters. I over heard one of her clients booking a session where she would arrange 4 or 5 blokes to r*pe him and he’d pay. I remember thinking at the time how messed up the guy must be and seemed a million miles from my harmless act!! Fast forward a few years and I’m watching sissy hypno and visiting trans escorts. And unable to stop. It does make you feel suicidal, out of control and broken. I was drawn to it most when I had messed something up and was stressed. It became like self harm as it was a big toxic rush followed by pain.
I’ve been working really hard to stay away from that life, had lots of counselling and accountability. posting on here has been a huge help realising im not alone. As well as planning and a self soothe list. It’s loosing a lot of it’s power and attraction the longer I stay away. But I’m not letting my guard down and getting complacent.

 

Thanks mate, yea I’m not going entertain the idea. And try and unhook from it quickly if it enters my mind. My last experience bingeing I got sick of the sissy/transwoman compilation crap and watched some straight porn and my last experience with a TS was horrible and didn’t really go through with it, so I’m holding onto those memories rather than glorifying the best moments. I’m 35 days in no pmo on this streak and realise that recovery is going to have to be for life. It’s nice to feel it fading slightly but like you say it’s a very thin line. That stuff is very damaging. Hopefully in the future when I’ve abstained from sex, porn and fantasies my brain will feel more balanced and I will be ready to meet a partner. Are you in a relationship that helps with the cravings or can the relationship sex become triggering too?

 

It’s creepy stuff bro. Sorry to hear about your relapse. The triggers seem to come out of nowhere sometimes and you wonder what just happened, somehow I managed to unhook from it last time, my rational side of my brain thought pain and I got the f#* out. Don't waste too much time and energy worrying about how you acted out and certainly don’t beat yourself up about it. Be kind to yourself, that is not your thing it’s just the addiction pushing for more reward. We’ve all got skeletons. I spoke to a hypnotist and he said not to give it too much power. It’s just suggestions and how you choose to take them is up to you deep down. The longer you leave it the less appealing it is and the more you respect yourself the less likely you are to keep going back to it. But I’m conscious that if I start searching that I’m likely to end up back there. We can beat this mate, deep down or souls are infinitely stronger than some twisted videos. dig deep what’s inside is really powerful. 2months ago I thought I was lost to this garbage. As failed over and over again. But if you keep getting back up and trying, you start to build new brain circuitry and become aware of vulnerable situations and thoughts. like David Goggins puts it; your brain thinks “ Sh#* this guy isn’t quitting” and has to adapt! Pm me if you need some support. Have good day

 

Thanks Roady, great discussion

 

It’s not your thing dude or you’d feel good afterwards and not ashamed. Your brain is just trying to trick you with “cognitive distortions” A good book and free online course- Over coming sex addiction Paula Hall, does some good worksheets to help you identify them. It’s the same with other addictions. Once you start spotting these tricks it looses its power a bit. But it’s f#*king hard some days. Even searching youtube articles about this subject were triggering and realised that my brain wanted feeding and was leading me down that path.