Long PMO sessions (many hours), edging addiction & extreme withdrawals, PAWS

Hi, for about a decade now I have been edging and binging to porn without moderation and I am starting to notice the harms of what I have done, I have dug a big hole for myself to get out of. I get most of the PAWs like symptoms you guys mention but no physical symptoms that I recognize apart from visual snow and fatigue. Ive been really struggling lately to get on long streaks and I havent felt this bad in my life, so if someone could give me advice on how to quit as a really bad binger it would be much appreciated.

 

Thanks for the reply, do you have any useful links about the effects of edging and binging? No pressure if you dont.

 

Yes man I'm quite sure about the fact that edging is the main reason of the damage and intense symptoms people experience, I would go further and say that a non edging addict will only experience mild withdrawl symptoms, because for 3 years I was in a stable state, but the year I started edging my life just collapsed in a matter of months, and I mean total collapse of body and mind, porn was a tool to use while masturbating, but when I started edging it became a drug, I just couldn't stop, but I'm quite lucky that I reconsidered the situation quickly, I did edging for four months maybe
The reason I can't really help anyone a lot with my experience is the fact that I never really committed to recovery until this year, last year I would just abstain for a week or like 10 days then watch porn and masturbate in the weekend, so I was actually still an addict, I wasn't serious about recovery, but I learned to control myself and stopped edging, so my body and mind would rest
I don't know how long did it take because I didn't think about it , but I think in matter of months I felt like I kind of leveled down my addiction if that makes sense, from a hardcore addict to regular addict, that year was hell for me, I was like a zombie and I wasn't even aware of that, but I got better fortunately
My symptoms was still there but less intense, I was able to feel like a human again and I regained some of my will power, after that I started taking it seriously and abstain for real, I achieved some good streaks, best one was 30 days, and now I feel like I can reach the 90 days milestone and more, I gained a lot of experience and will power and understanding , and I'm ready to quit for good and live free
Right now I'm a loooot better, when you go for streaks of 20 days on average your body and mind get some time to recover so you definitely feel better, I would say I feel pretty good these days, but I'm aiming now for total liberation and recovery of mind so that my reward circuit is normal again, because I'm still not at my potential healthily wise
So bottom line is my recovery journey was an absolute mess and a bunch of non consistent efforts, so I can't give a timeline
I'm not a native English speaker, so excuse me if my writing isn't optimal, if you have any specific questions I would be glad to help

 

for me:

- if u live with someone, stay close in the area because obviously wont masturbate while theyre around
- sleep early, because at least in my case, i usually only PMOd at night because none would notice
- keep urself busy
- if ur athletic u can do exercices once u feel urges because for me, if im physically exhausted i dont have the power to even do PMO
- try to avoid places that have a lot of trigger pictures like bikini pics and stuff (instagram for example)
- also realize what the bad effects u have got, temporary pleasure is not worth any of it.
- realize that u are trying to better urself by stopping PMO, U need to understand yourself that PMO is negative, consider it drugs
- if ur religious, know that God is always watching. He kept ur sins private so ur able to fix urself, take this chance

 

Hey, thanks for the reply and the advice.

 

Uh-oh! Did he say why it was dangerous?

 

Wow. That is genuinely interesting.

It's fricking edging that has ruined my life...! Not kidding.

 

I agree with this, and would add that what ever you do, you will need to be prepared to work for it. Build new habits and discipline. It will take work, but it will be worth it.

 

Hey man, compared to me you've done brilliantly. Keep up the good work, and thankyou for the insights that you've given to me.

 

i didn't ask him because it was my first time going to a doctor for an issue regarding private areas of the body, i never told anyone about porn except my closest friends, so i was shy to ask everything. i'll tell u how it went:

i told him about my aching pains and he asked if i did masturbation i told him yeah i do it, he said how frequently, i said once a day, sometimes up to 3 times, he said how come? do u have a high sex drive or do you watch pornography, i told him yes i watch pornography. i live in a country where all of this is taboo so i was afraid to mention anything wrong, anyways he said that porn is unethical and that however he says masturbation 2 times a week once u have morning wood should be enough. he then said, and if u do masturbate, when u stroke u must ejaculate, stroking without ejaculation is bad. i said ok doctor. so i didnt ask for details, but after quarantine if i go again i can ask. then i took some scans for my pain to see the issue.

however for most of us on nofap, we are addicts so we cannot limit ourselves to 2 times so its best to stop it altogether, i made a topic before saying "there is no moderation in porn", i kept telling myself "once a week is fine, its better than once a day" then after i was done, i got urges again because of the recent excitement, so i told myself "ok twice a week is fine too because the doctor said it" (mind u i ignored his request of not watching porn, so even more dangerous than only masturbation), then in stead of twice a week i did once every 3 days, then once every 2 days, and lastly once a day again. I went back to the same routine.

we dont tell heroine addicts to use it in "consideration", no. when something is addicting u need to stop it altogether.

every i got to 5-7 day streaks the inner part of me went back to the idea of porn reduction, but not porn elimination. so every streak got ruined, 3 times. now im on day 10, passing my old streaks, because i have now told myself i will do porn elimination, not porn reduction.

ofcourse it will be hard, we will crave the temporary pleasure and during this time u might have mixed emotions. but once u have beat the addiction and can finally say i dont like porn, u will look back at urself and see that u did, u did it my friend, u are a true warrior.

also consider thinking about ur future, would u want ur child to watch porn for several hours every day instead of finding a significant other, building a beautiful family?

for some the challenge may be done quicker than others, but we will all beat it at the end, it doesnt matter at what pace as long as u have the motive and courage we can do it.

especially the ones who are not yet into the worst effects like PIED, ED, or even actual physical pains like me who got testicle pains (which greatly reduced after stopping porn, i can confirm).

stay strong all and good luck, if u need help with anything we're all here to help. and u can use fake names and change ur stories slightly in case u are worried about revealing too much

 

I just wanted to make a note here that last week I relapsed after a 61 day streak, which was my second longest. During those 61 days I felt no difference in terms of inflammation being lessened, so I think I have "debunked" that theory that PMO/edging makes it worse. Just in my own personal story. Hope it helps someone.

 

Commiserations. Did you notice any other changes or improvements?

I also lapsed on tuesday... badly enough to feel it. Managed my best streak so far - 56 days hardmode, 84 days P free.

Agg.....

 

Sorry to hear about yours too Dave. Nope, I maybe noticed a little better mood but that was about it from what I could tell. But definitely no changes in terms of less inflammation.

 

Man I can relate to this. I have been 10+ months clean now and still have some really bad days. Still better than one year ago tho, when I would have panic attacks on the street and, specially, in the subway. Sometimes I even doubt I will ever recover totally.

 

Good for you - it is also good for me to know that there are people persevering over the longer term, and actually seeing improvements at all. In my last streak, I was feeling terrible after 8 weeks of hardmode, and just as bad on day 84 in "not quite hardmode". However, since I lapsed a couple of days ago, there's no mistaking that I feel worse because of it, across the board. I mean, for me, inhabiting my brain and body, it's pretty obvious! So I reckon that during my 84 day streak I must have been improving, but at such a slow rate that it was barely noticeable. I also had a real high during and immediately after the PMO itself (for several hours afterwards). I think that this is what throws people off and allows them to convince themselves that Nofap doesn't work. You've got to be committed and know what you're doing.

 

Apologies for resurrecting an oldish thread. Just wanted to submit my own experiences.

28M, been an addict since 15, and have engaged in marathon edging sessions since 18. I’ve had varying degrees of success with nofap over the years, the longest I’ve successfully abstained being 50 days approx. That was a long time ago.

Lately, however, I’ve found myself suffering from intense panic attacks, those “I’m going to die any second of a heart attack” badboys. I can only assume this is due to my ongoing dependence on porn.

As others have mentioned, I also struggle with symptoms like fatigue, joint pain and tension. I like to consider myself a well-educated person. But over the last 12 months I’ve started to feel stupider. Other symptoms make me worry that there might be something seriously wrong with me.

It’s ironic, isn’t it? Like many, I embraced PMOing as a teen because it provided me with a sanctuary from my anxiety. Now it seems to be the predominant source of it.

Even going a couple of days is tough rn. Out of curiosity, have any of you in my position managed to get out of this hole?