What medications can I take without prescription that will KILL or lower my sex dr that are harmles

The first time I abstained from masturbation has been nearly effortless, I was almost nit recieving any urges, sometimes I would get a morning wood, but without the urge, back then my sex druve was very low, I could have just been looking at hot women and not feel anything and my sexual desire is inceedibly low(naturally).
But shortly after quarantining, I found myself masturbating occassionally, now I do wanna KILL the sexual desire, and stop masturbating, but this time it ain't so easy as it was the first time.
However I am 17 yrs old and I wander what medications could I take without prescription that would eliminate or lower sex drive.
Truth be told I would have given anything to become ASEXUAL and to absolutely never ever again feel the need to masturbate, the first time I abstained it was inexplicably effortless.
So that's why I'm asking this, I wanna eliminate the sexial desire, but first I wanna make sure that the medications that I would take wouldn't have a negative impact on other areas of life, like increased anxiety etc.
Anyhow please tell me what medications should I take, because I am 1 nanometer close to sticking my junk into a light socket...

 

Man the first time I abstained it was humongously effortless, I wanna create the same effortlessness now that was there the first time I abstained, I abstained literally without nofap, as if the sexual desire was gone then and man I love when there is no sex drive, bcs I have naturally low sex drive, otherwise it wouldnt be so effortless abstaining the first time.
But now abstainjng doesn't come that easy to me(in this current period).
And I seriosly don't knoe why.
Anyhow the whole point is I want abstination to be effortless like it was the first time therefore I thought to myself: What easier way is there than to take some medications that would lower sex drive.
That's the point, I want abstination to go effortlessly.

occured

 

Because masturbation is so fucking irrational, what does one get out of it.
After I fap it I feel anxiety, stressed out, and the whole fuckin day fuckin messed up cause of it then.
After I fap it I literally feel mad at myself, and wanna go back in time before the moment I fapped it.
The first time I abstained it was extremely effortless, I stopped getting urges, lived much freer better and fuller life, felt better bout myself, everything would be a whole lot better if masturbation did not even exist.
In the period of abstination everything was a whole lot easier back then even if I would get an urge it would not be large, but now its not like that, now when I get the urge its stronger and almost as if I cant fight it, so I wanna completely eliminate the useless thing called the sex drive, idk why most people would wanna increase their useless fuckin sex drive, think of it, it's so fuckin useless.
I wander do chicks ever get masturbation urges, I wander do chicks have these fuckin problems...
And during the masturbation hangover that feeling just makes me anxious and makes me wanna kill the fucking sex drive, like I said I would give anything to become ASEXUAL, I don't need anything to do with sexual things, just the thought of masturbation and sexual compulsions sickens me.
I ABSOLUTELY FIND ABSOLUTELY 0 MEANING IN ANY MASTURBATION(SEX WITH A REAL WOMAN IS A REAL DEAL, I AIN'T NEVER TRIED IT COZ IM 17), THAT'S WHY I WANNA GET RID OF THE SEX DRIVE.
And is there any way to permanently eliminate the useless thing called the sex drive.
And if there are any medications to eliminate it, I would like those medications not to cause hair thinning, muscle loss, increase in anxiety, or anything bad to do to my bod.
So bottomline the thought of any kind of masturbation what so fuckin ever disgusts the shit outta me, cause its so fuckin irrational, and time wasting, and overall making me feel bad...
So no one actually told me how to permanently erase the sex drive, I don't need it, I'm too young to have real sex.
There you have its just makin me feel really really bad and stressed out, and it impacts my self-confidence and self-esteem really badly.
Sorry for the language, I'm pretty fuckin pissed coz of relapse I did today.

 

I ain't watchin any kind of PORN...

 

Man I'm telling you, during that period urges were almost erased from existence in my case...

 

That's the problem, during my period of abstinence it was pretty fuckin easy to just shoot that bitch right between the eyes, lately it has not been that easy, how can I at least lower it so that the urges aren't strong and that common.

 

I wander do chicks ever get masturbation urges, do they get problems like that...
Anyhow I ain'g never gonna relapse again, after I fap it, the whole day after that I would be frustrated and stressef out, and wishing to go back in time with the feeling of guilt and shame...