I need help!

Ok guys I need help, i want first consider that I had some streak of (14,14,14,40)
And now I’m on my 7 day.

now here is the problem :
I’m addict 7 years from like 2013 to 2020

I’m gonna tell this story in timeline:
It’s gonna be long please rea!!
I’m 20 years old right now, 2 years ago when I was in school at age 18, I was like this :
- very low confidence
- no girls to talk with, no girlfriend
- but I had my group of friends (8), and one best friend we joked a lot.
- I wasn’t good at school but I had my friends.
- I didn’t like my life to much ( today also)

after the school in my country we need to go to the ARMY :
There are people who go to combat serving ( 8 months training which is hard, with training, eat a lot of shit, 3 days in every 2 weeks at home, low mantally and etc)

and there is another service( which is go to to another “jobs” services like cyber or someone who sell things or anything else that not that hard, in this type of service there are also girls, and it’s more fun)

so I chose to be a combat soldier( 1 and a half years ago)
And my best friend go to cyber unit( with girls, and better people in my opinion, more flow people)

so in my journey till today:
- low confidence
- not friends from army
- eat shit all day
- no girlfriends..

and my best friend:
- went to easy place when you get job for after the army
- have girls
- have a lot of friends there which is like me
- I’m not seeing him to much because must of the time he is with them
- he have there nice group of friends and girls in there friendships, even his friends I think that they are like me so if I had go to other place in the beginning...
- get home every day
- go to party sometimes, make a good life

- it seems like he have better life then me
.......
.......
.......


Now, I don’t know I’m kinda jealous, I went to a good service with a lot of meaning because it’s combat soldier and in my country it’s hard in impotent, but I got nothing from that!
My confidence still low no friends, I could even go to easy place which I maybe could talk with girls or make friend,
There are also other friends in combat service but they have friends, I don’t know I’m so jealous and it’s hurt, my friend doing birthday with 60 people from army and with girls I’m coming too I like him, but

here is the question!!!!
Why when I chooses the hard way and he important I got only shitty things, no friends, no girls, low confidence, still addict when I come home from army and realpse, and some of my friends have a lot of friends and even girls and I can’t do it?? Help me it’s feel unfair!

 

I’m in officer course also, which mean I will be an officer at the army, “combat engineer”, now, I’m finishing this course in July, I will be an officer i wish I will commend on new 12 solider that just enlisted to army. With more 4 officers, which mean 60 new soliders...

those solider come from all over the country they don’t know each other

I’m responsible of the journey of 12 solider solider for 8 months, educate them, teach them, train them, make them as a soliders, wat the shit with them.

now I want to be a good one, I’m afraid it’s important roll, I’m gonna take on a massive important place of heart of 12 soliders, the things that I will do will impact in a good/bad way in them..but I don’t know if officer is the main thing that I want right now, my head is about to talk with more friends, girls, to make my life better...

now, this friend my best friend have party this weekend with 60 people like I said maybe it’s my opportunity... to get more friends maybe talk to girls, I’m a funny type guys i think, for people I love I’m good at that, I want my consider back I want to earn the friends that I want so much...

I’m on day 7 also in nofap( i did 3 times 14, and one time 40)
I wish it will work this time.... I know
what I want to achieve in life...

I know that I have fucking massive struggle in life that I don’t know how to break..

 

Thank you so much!