Why do you keep failing?

In this topic i wanna help you to find out why YOU keep failing this reboot: the only thing you have to do is to remind and write about every time you fall, what cause that.
I don't mean to help "everyone" because you could be in 100 here but just writing down there your problems when you fail it help yourself more than i can do, your brain start to realize what you write here now and maybe you will find a solution.
Give it a try at last

I wanna tell you a story and, even if i don't know you, i'm sure that most of us are familiar with bicycles. When i was a kid, like the most of us, i had my first bike when i was 7/9yo but i didn't knew how to take a ride. What's the first thing that happened when i try to ride it? I fall down. I didn't knew how to do it alone, even if i saw people everyday doing it. I rise up, take the bike and start again, trying to remember how i failed first time and avoiding doing the same mistake. Result: i fall again. I rise up again, take the bike and fall again, again and again, duno how many times.
But time by time, fail after fail, i learned how to ride perfectly a bike. Now i'm adult and if i take a bike i'm able to run at 60Kmh on the streets without any problem. How i learned it? By failing, again, day after day till i learned it and become a master to ride.
Did you find something familiar about NoFap and Bicycles? There are people around us that are able to ride a bike without problem as they don't watch pron as well. But at some point even they have done it but they quite it, so we can do the same. I learned to ride a bike after falling few days but now i can do it again and again, i will never forget it.
Porn is kinda different for sure, but have same principles: after you fall, rise up and start over and repeat it again and again. For me it took 4 months to learn that but now i'm ready again to quit for real.
"If now I'm able to ride a bike, tomorrow I'll be able to live without porn."

Also i know a song in italian that say "La vita e la bici hanno lo stesso principio, devi continuare a muoverti per stare in equilibrio!"
In English it say that "Life and Bike have the same principle, you have to move to stay in balance!"

Even you never learned to ride a bike (but who in 2020 doesn't do it?) i'm sure there are other areas of your life where you never knew how or what to do but now you do it perfectly, so use it at example to quit porn.
"Today you fail, tomorrow you rise!".



PS: now i saw this quote from Albert Einstein about life and bicycles. The Universe it self is moving right now, it never stopped since it was born so it's the same for our life, keep moving!

 

I keep failing because I'm living a very messy lifestyle.

I am prescribed stimulants for ADHD , due to lower levels of dopamine . Without stimulants I seek out dopamine , porn and nicotine , etc when I take stimulants I seek out dopamine to deal with the comedown .

After a few weeks I'm discontinuing it or taking a long hiatus , quitting nicotine and staying the fuck away from porn .

And forcing myself to let my brain recover from all these vices and addictions ,.

I've done it before and I'll do it again you just have to break the connections

 

Well you have a problem here body, and this is something i think they should teach you at school, how to success in life and learn from mistakes, as for my point of view about society and school it self.
But look at this:


In the nature, all birds have to dance and to show their beautiful colors and skills to mate, but they have to learn it.
We also do like that, don't think at a girl as a "Price" to win, YOU have to be the price that she wanna learn and give you the possibility to have a family
But you have to do the most of work here, by fapping you will never succeed in this and with that in mind you will never be able even to say hi or something else to any woman, trust me.
Be like a fucking bird, improve yourself, mind and body, and when you see a beautiful lady that you like just go there and start with "Hello there" and see how is going, but you have to look nice and show her what you are made of, that's how girls decide their partner, they want a MAN who is able to fight and defend their family and a man who can talk with a girl without problems. And if you dance for her and maker her happy and smiling: BINGO! It's also a bingo if she replay "General Kenobi" to you

And the last thing we have in common with birds: after they didn't get the female and she fly away, they will be ready and improve their self next time, trying even harder and better and not to fail again. The same is with us, don't go back to fap because a lady didn't wanna talk to you or run away, just it will be better next time with someone else. Never ever try to talk to the same lady a 2nd time if you failed once, just move on. This is all about learning from failing, birds do it and those who learn are those who mate and have a family, that's how natural selection work, even for humans.

 

Y'know, I usually just think: "Ah, fuck it.". The only thing that drives my addiction is the word "want". I really don't need to watch porn, but I want to.

 

Ask yourself "why" you want. For me i watched porn because i wanted to see this joy of sex but it's useless if i can't do it so it's better to stop and start going for the real stuff, as i do right now.

 

i lapse because
it is always a mistake for me.
playing with fire and starting the loop of innocent flirt with coworker then it gets intense after some time in a day or two.
always keeping mind clear of erotic thoughts is needed.

 

You work and flirt with some coworker? Then try for the real stuff, i dunno but think it's better than solo game

 

Interesting how big of a deal this has been for me. I let my mind dwell on a sexual fantasy and it might not be the same day but I will eventually relapse. I have to stop fantasies right away and start thinking about something non-sexual.

 

i don't want to have sex casually bro. it is just my past nature of flirting which hampers my will. but i am strict every day now. i do not want just any woman, i want quality woman.
for that t happen i am trying to be a man of quality myself.

 

exactly, cutting the vicious circle just when it try to start with some innocent looking erotic thought. pure mind is the key as per me to attain success in nofap.

 

I agree 100% with this and that's i want too. See? Sometimes you just have to think a little bit about what you really want and the answer will come out, not only this but even the way to reach that life that we also want. NoFap is the way.