[90-CHALLENGE] THE NINETY DAYS CHALLENGE !

Relapsed. Day 0.

 

Hey@Terry,
When you have time try this.
Everytime you get urges or see something triggering and you feel the urge to watch porn or research explicit content.

Just give yourself a minute or 2 just to focus and listen to what the urges are.
Instead of trying to keep yourself busy
Just take of a minute or two to become mindful of the urge then you decide whats next.


I use that technique to access my emotions since am studying self awareness and am required to be mindful of any emotions. Trying to understand what caused them and how to react to them...

Infact I use evernote(note taking app on my phone) to write down and understand what exactly was happening, the thoughts I had or people or what I watched to trigger certain emotions in me.

When you feel free and got some time on you. Give it a try and see whether it will you

 

Day 3!
Third time Ice cream and laugh!

 

Day 56

"I kneel before you asking for yours gifts of courage, wisdom, knowledge, endurance, resilience and control over my urges.
Am fighting a battle and I have to win with whatever it takes. Am here asking for you guidancy and your gifts so that I keeping fighting until I win"
AMEN
Have a blessed Tuesday

 

25 days completed just 5 more days for 30 days

 

Day 58 No M
Day 163 No P

Motivation for the day Have a nice one guys!

 

Day 40 today!

 

24/90. Getting closer to my next goal of 30!

 

16 check.

 

Day 31

 

day 0/90

I relearned an old lesson this time: be extremely diligent with basic self-care. Remember HALT:

H - Hungry
A - Angry
L - Lonely
T - Tired

I forget where this originated, but the basic idea is that if you are currently experiencing any TWO of these at the same time, you're very likely to relapse into your addiction. The point is that taking care of these basic needs keeps you in a much more stable place, able to deal with urges when they come. Making sure you eat enough (and I would add stay hydrated enough), get good sleep every night, spend quality time with close friends and family, and journal (or go to counseling) for difficult emotions is the foundation on which we build our healthy, porn-free lifestyle.

I know there's a ton more behind what drives us to porn; I'm just reminding us (myself...) not to forget the basics!

 

Thanks so much for all the encouraging words, @Timothy_James, @Pone, @Luke777 and everybody else.... Yes, I will get back up again. Yes, I will keep reminding myself what porn is and why I don't want that anymore.

I have discovered a mistake I've been making ever since 2014: I keep thinking it's going to be easy. And I get taken by surprise when it isn't.

This applies to how I deal with my PM-addiction: every time I start from 0, I think that this time I've got it, this time my will is strong enough, this time I won't have urges and I won't give in. And then when strong urges hit me, or I see something sexy on social media or wherever, I'm not prepared. But it also applies to how I approach daily life things like work and relationships: I always want to plan and predict what's gonna happen but then life gets in the way and throws unpredictable stuff at me. And then I stress out, I get frustrated, I curse myself for not being able to deal with this; and there I am, burying myself under all these accusations until I cave in and run towards distraction.

So, I have to drastically change my expectations from life. It's not going to be easy. My colleagues that gave me stress yesterday are going to give me stress again. My plans are gonna hit obstacles and get derailed. I'm going to want to run away. I'm going to see some appealing online content and I'm going to want to click on it. And sometimes I might even give in and masturbate to some bullshit. Maybe not in the next 90 days, maybe not in the next year from now. Maybe next week. And none of it is the end of the world. I'll fail. And then get back up again.

I found this great video of Yuttadhammo Bhikkhu yesterday where he says that from a Buddhist view, life is failure. We fail and fail and fail until we stop failing and that's enlightenment. I like that.

Actually, I have been doing this already. That is to say, I keep a diary where I write down each of my triggers and what caused them. However, it does happen still that I first look at some sexy or otherwise useless content for 5, 10, 20 minutes before I manage to pull myself away and open my diary. But I think my realisation that I talked about above will help me be more prepared when a trigger hits me. To not be surprised. I'm gonna stop being surprised by failure.

So, day 1. I joined this forum 218 days ago. Of those 218 days, I was 194 days without M’ing to P.

 

38/90 feeling fear leave the body!

 

Day 48 feeling great without any nausea and headache!

 

Checking in on day 56/90

Stay strong everyone!

 

Okay, I need a new streak, because I might be getting to a risky way again.

Day 0.

 

I was thinking about your advice some more and I'm gonna try not just writing down my urges but really taking a break of 1 minute every time I get one and meditate on it. Thanks for the idea.

 

Day 66 completed. Thank you everyone for your support.

 

Here's a quick read on HALT for anyone interested. I found it really helpful!

 

After only failing once in last few weeks I edged earlier which sucks because it's not like you get any better just cause you didn't finish. I am down for doing this 90 day challenge. Anyone want to join up as accountability partners? Even though I didn't O I will reset to 0 and see how this goes. Progress is fine but definitely not satisfied at all.