I’m going to see a therapist.

Seeing a therapist surely wouldn't hurt. Especially if it's free

I would dare to say that simply having a chance to TALK about your addiction with anyone would be valuable, regardless of the fact that the person you talk to is a therapist or not.

Having someone listen and give an honest opinion from an outside point of view would surely be beneficial.

Said that... if your counter is right, then you've been clean 13 days, that's no mean feat! Quitting is hard as a whole process, but the simple things you need to do every day are easy.
You seem to know your pattern, don't get into it again. Deep down we all know the road that leads to fapping and how to avoid taking it, it's a choice, take the right path and try to stay on it my friend!

Best of luck in your journey.

 

I found seeing a therapist to be very helpful. I have not broken the porn habit yet. I might not ever, but I found it very helpful to talk with a professional about the bullshit that goes on between my ears. And how I actually use my time.

 

All I can recommend with a therapist, is to lay it all out there for them. Most people that become therapist have a curiosity on what makes people do and act they way they do.

That was recommended to me before I started therapy and it seems to help me understand myself more and my methods of operation for life and the problems I face in it.

 

Seeing a therapist is a wise decision. I was seeing a therapist on and off for nearly a decade before I finally had the courage to tell her about my PMO. I do not think this was a surprise to her. That was in January, 2019. I am lucky - my insurance covers my sessions.
In some cases I can see the person not necessarily being cured but being in a far more confident position from which to manage one's PMO, thanks to therapy. I am far from being cured (again, I think the best we can hope for is managing it) but therapy has been the best thing I have done for myself in terms of this affliction. My sessions have been very eye opening for me since speaking about it.
If you do not feel the therapist is the right fit for you, find someone else. They don't (or shouldn't) take it personally. Also, they need to be great listeners because it's your duty to talk and listen to yourself while you speak in the sessions. With the right therapist, you will learn a lot about yourself because you get to listen to yourself. Finally, even though you want to get your PMO under control, I would advise to speak about your life in general terms in the first session. This will allow you to decide if this therapist is right for you. Background details of your life, your health, your education, your current feelings about your life and work are all things that are helpful to the therapist. I wish you the best in this pursuit.

 

Please do not have this simplistic thought as an easy solution, I'll come back to this but you're most likely going to set yourself up for disappointment and unnecessary stress.

As far as seeing a therapist, sure you might as well use that benefit - we have it too and I've used it, though not for the PMO issue. After all it is only like 3-5 sessions. The issue with therapy is it is really hard to find someone really good and even then it takes a long time for them to get to know you and your issue well enough (especially if they don't real with addiction issues normally, let alone sex and sex related addiction) and frankly they get paid by the hour, they don't get paid by result or giving you results fast.

I don't want to give you a pessimistic idea, but a realistic one. I currently have a retired therapist as an AP, and I've sat in rooms with a bunch of therapists (I am not one) hearing about their treatment approaches, some of them with a PhD, and some quite accomplished like they teach/taught and supervise the others.

It doesn't work fast.

And it's probably harder to find a good therapist (who is taking new clients) than finding a girlfriend to be honest.

Since we have to be in it for the long run the best thing you can do is to educate yourself and have that psychological awareness, which brings me back to the point about expecting a woman to cure the issue. This is of course based on a simple substitution logic. The problem is just like therapists, having a significant other as a partner is a long term relationship, and they are both human beings who are complex. At least the therapist in the relationship is educated in that regard, which isn't a guarantee as to their objectivity in the context of a romantic relationship, but you have to keep in mind people have all sorts of psychological issues. As we know some women have PMO as an issue, but there are plenty of OTHER issues that can make for drama and serious stress in life. I would never say don't try because it's too messy but you want to learn enough to know what you're getting yourself into. The thing is even if you read about it you're probably not going to be prepared for the reality, like if I mention personality disorders that probably means next to nothing to most people.

Of course you could get lucky, you may find the process enjoyable and not have that much expectation but don't expect it to be the one thing to knock it out of the park. I think one of the problems is people think any ONE thing will fix their problem, whether that's a mental or physical disease it is just way too simplistic. If it takes just a few things simultaneously the One Cure To Fix It All approach will NEVER, NEVER get it.

Edit: If this sounds negative it's probably because I am addressing it from the perspective of completely curing it. It can be really helpful if it's new to you. But there's a reason why lifestyle changes are important, but the way a lot of people post on here sounds like they are always looking for that one thing. It doesn't exist, it's many and really ultimately all things in their life.

 

Yeah in your benefits program you also have a limited number of sessions so of course it's good to pick a good one and make the most of it, and no doubt it will be informative and you'll learn something if the experience is new to you. Hopefully they can help you unpack things a bit and gain some insight, point you in the right direction - which is of course what they're supposed to do. That may not necessarily have the effect of immediately improving numbers but you could recognize the value of the direction and reflection. Unfortunately the system is just limited and it's about what insurance pays for, and the therapists are also human and limited in their capacity.

 

I have done that myself. It helps a lot

 

Total respect, brother.

 

Hello my friend, a simple piece of advice... don't go down the road of online dating.
Online dating sites are borderline porn, with 90% of the women either being bots, scammers or webcam professionals trying to make money out of it.

Not only the site itself will try and get every penny out of you and keep you hooked with different strategies, but also the few real users that will get in touch will be mostly interested in making easy money out of you.

On top of this the imagery on dating sites and apps is again borderline pornographic and very triggering. Going in that direction will only set you back.

If you feel you want to date women please do that the old fashioned way. Go out and meet them. It's bloody hard, but try anything related to your interests, meetup groups, sport, dancing or fitness courses, whatever tickles your fancy, but please leave online dating alone at this stage if you're trying to quit porn.