Any book on sexual shame in men?

Discussion in 'Self Improvement' started by Optimum Fortitude, Jun 14, 2020.

  1. Hi all,

    I am looking to read a book about sexual shame in men and how to overcome it. Any recommendations?

    Thanks,
     
  2. lolos

    lolos Fapstronaut

    no more mr nice guy
    the manipulated man
     
  3. Thanks man. I already read No More Mr Nice Guy. Will look at the Manipulated Man.

    I'm looking specidically for something relatively objective and science based, rather than blame oriented. Something fully focused on overcoming shame.

    NMMNG helped me pin point some problems but I could sense a lot of resentment from the author. He made a lot of criticism but giving little to no real solutions. It just made me feel even worst about myself.

    The book Not Nice by Dr Aziz is much better imo, but all these self help books are only superficial imo. I'm looking for books written by professionals for other professionals and research work.
     
  4. brod2018

    brod2018 Fapstronaut

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    Thebook of pook and the rational male. Both present solutions.
     
  5. To be honest - shame at first looks like a serious emotion to bear and it may be like this forever but the way to overcome and transcend this emotion is by examination of upbringing, behaviors and cultural programming patterns that are related to masculinity and sex. It took me about 2 years to work on feeling shame of masculinity in general and everything related but the weight I finally released was totally worth it. If someone intimidated you sexually there is a way to overcome it also.
    One of the reasons for me was lack of connection to masculine energy, lack of healthy role models and feeling of being incomplete. Second important thing was guilt of sexuality and feeling of desire that I sometimes felt and felt guilty about. But important and not well known thing is that NoFAP reboot helped me to show me guilt but also increased level of this sexual guilt in me. Luckily I transformed this whole thing so I'm happy because rebooting pushed me to opposite, totally conservative, 'religious' like feeling of 'inner dirt' because of sexual desires ( I was never religious, nor my family). From PMO I went cold turkey with sexuality and hit the opposite, now I'm rebalanced with healthy view on sexuality and not PMOing anymore ofcourse (instead of urges I feel natural arousal that is not agressive like the urges).
    Shame as a shame is specific emotion. This emotion together with thoughts that is impaired with this emotion can be simply released by feeling it and breathing to them, fully accepting the emotion - yes it's that simple. David R Hawkins wrote briliant books on releasing old emotions and improving consciousness. One of his book is "Letting Go: The Pathway Of Surrender". With this technique you can work on other emotions, its simple way to 'Manning up" and emotional maturity. I don't have any book on masculine but nevermind the reason, every emotion is secondary to our own true nature so it's possible to release it. It takes work on your consciousness, learning and practicing awareness of thoughts and emotions and theirs true nature. To put it simply - you have to look more spiritually on your true nature bit it will pay you with more emotional maturity and completness of self.
    To put it more simple - increase your inner awareness and consciousness and shame or guilt will simply drop out. It's my firsthand experience ;) When you really experience who you are and who you are NOT, your self-confidence will be unmovable. True masculine confidence is not about posing and false pride - its about being humble and compassionate and being in touch with the soul.

    P.S. The subject of shame in men is really serious and unnoticed problem to address and solve. It's one of the biggest obstacles to power and self realization. Because you see it in yourself, be prepared for toug ride but result will be fruitful.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 16, 2020
  6. Reborn16

    Reborn16 Fapstronaut

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    I'm currently reading 'Everything is F*cked' by Mark Manson. I've found a few insights that are helping in my case.

    It makes some good arguments with analogies of many life experiences, including relationships. I'm still getting through it, but I've been able to deduce it's highly likely that my past experiences with bullying from peers and rejection from girls, is influencing my avoidance or real girls and use of 'fake' ones in pmo.

    It seems to offer a general view on how good and bad experiences can make up our identity, our values, our actions. Shame is part of that, and it gives practical solutions too!
     

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