Someone talk me out of this (trans escort)

Exactly. Thank you, OP made me look like some kind of villian

 

If you actually like trannys and want to spend the rest of your life knowing that you acted out with one and feel absolutely okay with that, go for it. But if its the addiction hijacking your brain and trying to convince you that seeing a transgendered person is okay without considering any of the consequences then dont do it. Addiction can make you think crazy stupid things just to reinforce what it has been conditioned to. If this is a conditioned taste from porn that you don't actually like but feels too powerful to overcome, I would not recommend doing it. Just how straight people condition themselves to penises and think theyre gay or that they want to do extreme acts in real life. Its all because of conditioning. You can condition yourself to get off to a freakin table for gods sake. If this conditioned response gives you true pleasure that is real, authentic and makes you happy whenever you think about it then go for your life, but if it gives you anxiety, pain and just feels wrong dont do it cos it will stick with you forever and almost certainly evolve into a never ending cycle of real life addiction.

 

Hello FellatiousD, I really enjoyed reading through this thread and some of your other posts. I think there are a lot of thoughtful posts in this thread, also from other members. I never posted here before(although I have been a lurker for quite a while and made an account a while back with the idea to post here regularly) but reading through this thread I felt the urge to give my perspective on it.

I think you could look at it this way:
What do you want from life? What if you happen to really enjoy acting out? Could those two things be in harmony with each other? From your posts i have read that you want to be in a loving relationship with a woman. If that is what you want, you will probably not want to act out once you are in a stable relationship with someone(asuming you dont want to cheat, or cant find someone who is okay with you meeting trans escorts). So it would be a thing you enjoy now, until you find someone you can settle down with. I think this could become a problem in itself later on in life, because then it will be something you will have to give up. You will allways, somewhere in the back of your mind, have the idea that you are giving up something to be in a loving relationship with someone. And when the sex maybe isn't as exciting or spicy after a while, which is a possability in a long lasting relationship, you will probably have a harder time not to act out then when you didn't get into it in the first place.

So the way i see it is that even if you don't get any psychological trauma from it(which isn't very likely I think, but that aside) it is just not really an option in the long run and therefore(and for a lot of other reasons) it doesn't make sense to pursue it in the first place.

 

Anyone who ever considers acting out due to porn should read this. Good luck to you.

 

if u are hetero, i think that u only like this because porn has transcended your mind to like things u dont even like, like transgenders. so perhaps once u are to have intercourse the realization will kick in and u will regret everything and feel disgusted

dont do it bro! porn has messed u up, but everything can be solved

 

There are alot of people who have considered acting out before that would definitely benefit from hearing how bad it really is. I almost went that direction but i managed to find nofap at the height of porn addiction. Its been crazy up and downs since then but im thankful I found it before it got any worse. I hope you get through this.

 

Hello lad.
It appears that you have the same as i used to have. Im also a virgin.
Im not going to spout dogmatic bs. Sexual experimentation isnt bad for most people. For me there is a point where it gets bad bcuz im a catholic. But that doesnt matter

But even if you are a virgin you shouldnt seek sex from an escort. It will fuck you up from an emotional perspective or so i have read on many sites.Even though you are heterosexual there is a good chance you wont enjoy it but there is chance that you will and this will become another addiction if you end up enjoying. Also the danger of catching stds is higher among transgender escorts.

For me all my urges to meet with an escort went away after beating my meat.

You should save your first time for someone you feel is special enough for you to give them the v card.

I dont know how i have done this but after two 14 day streaks and the 5 day streak im on rn i dont think about transwoman escorts. Hell i have been thinking more about girls than transwomen for possibly the first time of my life.

Im not going to question or judge your sexuality. But you should try to do 90 hard mode and try to reboot. If you think this is harming you you should focus on fixing it.

 

For what its worth: Had the same idea / goal during my 90 day streak last year. On the planned last day i wanted to try a bit myself and in few seconds i finished. The wish (or need) for IRL action was over and never made the appointment for a visit. Was a little disappointed in myself for not holding out till I got IRL action.

 

So why exactly do you think you're depressed about experimenting with a trans? Do you think it has to do with contradicting your sexual identity or fear of public shame?

 

Ok so if I understand you correctly, you're saying that you fetished the reproductive organ, i.e. penis, of transwomen due to exposure to trans porn? Did your friend find out that you're seeing TS escorts? When you say the relationship you're after is nearly nonexistent, what are you referring to exactly? Are you saying you'd like to have a relationship with a T woman who wants to keep their penis?

 

Have you tried using a porn blocker? I've been using an app called Detoxify and it helps a lot. I'm pretty sure I would've relapsed yesterday if I didn't have the app.

I think a lot of your issues stem from a fear of being labeled as homosexual or gay. Sexuality is a spectrum oscillating between gynephilia and androphilia. Sexual attraction to transwomen by men who identify as straight is more common than you think. Studies reveal that it seems to be the exoticness of transwomen that attracts these men. You were exposed to it through porn but you tried it in real life and seemed to like it. Some men try it in real life and realize its not their thing. A single behavior does not define your sexuality or who you are as a person. We are multi faceted, complex animals with often conflicting desires and ambitions. You need to decide which desire is most important to you and dedicate yourself to it. Maybe join a sex addicts group.

 

I use the app for android. There are many porn blockers out there. Find one that works best for you. Use a porn blocker on your laptop and phone. Find a accountability partner and have them create a pin number if necessary, this way you wont be able to access porn. Sheer will power is simply not enough for most addicts. Imagine an alcoholic with a cabinet full of alcohol.

In regards to your sexual abuse as a child, I cannot give an expert opinion but it may have nothing to do with your attraction to transwomen. However, the intense shame you feel for your attraction to transwomen could be partly rooted in your molestation as a child. Its bringing up insecurities you may have always had about your sexuality.

 

I feel your pain dude. I’ve been relapsing to this garbage since Thursday night. I was doing so well, had got to 52 days and had real days of what felt like enlightenment away from the addiction. A lot of stress stacked up with everything going on, family problems and having some beers a couple of days before just exhausted me.
I did read a while ago that fetishes come from trauma. I don’t know too much about the mechanics of it. I feel it’s something I want to work through with my counsellor. Why is there a side of me that is drawn to this submissive crap. What I have noticed the last few times I’ve relapsed is that I want to be the one taking the dominant role when with a trans which I might as well take as a victory. But listening to erotic audios I do get turned on by a sensual dominant woman leading me astray. Which then leads to feeling guilty and worthless. Maybe I’m looking at it from trying to be alpha and anti gay. But it just feels degrading, toxic and very addictive

 

I just read this and You got a long way to go already and even longer way if you go down this rabbit hole.. I have been there and trust me buddy its not worth it , and the recovery is even worst i have had 446 days of semen retention and Nofap and i barely write anything on here, But not much writers talk about the constipation and other painful side effects of recovery that i have experienced in my 446 days.

 

You’re obviously doing incredibly well. With that many days of semen retention. But I was hoping it would get easier or be none existent by that stage. When I relapsed after my little 52 days it felt like the cravings were intensified much more because of the build up. I decided if I was going to relapse I thought I might as well have the big hit rather than slightly more natural experiences (say with a female escort) and then be left thinking where am I now with recovery back at the start or what are my rules now guilt and shame?! I think the reasons could be: I know ive messed up and I deserved punishment with these unhealthy fetishes and if I’m going to do it, go the whole hog and start a fresh at the beginning of the cycle only this time round do it better. Looking back that was my addict rationalising it. I was wondering about trying a different approach to retention as I’m failing time and time again. Maybe see if there is a way of programming my mind away from those fetishes. Or at least work out where they’ve stemmed from.

 

I think what happened is that you got used to watching T women get bottomed and your addicted brain wanted to up the ante by watching a T woman bottom a guy. Also, all humans have a dominant side and a submissive side from which we can derive pleasure. I think most of us are somewhere in the middle of the dominant/submissive scale leaning towards one direction or the other. I read an article about it a little while ago but I can't look it up right now because my porn blocker is too good. Lol

 

That’s interesting I kind of thought you were ether submissive or dominant and I was quite unusual being a bit of both. Yea porn has definitely helped escalate my fantasies. But I’ve also noticed with a hangover I’ve felt more naughty and drawn to that stuff and wondered if it was a chemical imbalance maybe as drink reduces testosterone. Then Ive heard stuff about plastics we use and chemicals in our water that are even turning frogs gay excuse my conspiracy theories.

 

With all your current struggles with addictions, do you really want to add another sick and difficult-to-extract-from or erase-memories-of quicksand pit of addiction? Do you really want to recover from any addiction? Also, are you perhaps getting a little thrill around posting this discussion and the bantering around of talk surrounding this fantasy? You can draw out your recovery or forever-lack-of recovery for as long as you want to, though all your relationships, through marriage(s), through divorce(s), and perhaps easily through till the rest of your life. Is that what you want? It's the very door you're thinking about opening. If you don't really want to recover, are you in the right place here? Are you helping others, really, with this? How's that?

 

Lol...nah man its the alcohol activating the "fuck it" part of your brain. Alcohol reduces your inhibitions.