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Pregnant SO, kiked him out becaus of relaps

Discussion in 'Partner Support' started by Sootie, Jun 16, 2020.

  1. Jun 16, 2020 #1
    Sootie

    Sootie Fapstronaut

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    Hi
    Found him with pants down last Friday it broke my hart and my trust so i kicked him out. (He is now living at his parents and has told them kind of what he's done, he say this is first time sens 2018, but i dont believe him) He told me this was a one time thing but now i cant trust him so i dont know but my feeling is that that is not right.

    This is by far the worst thing that has ever happen in my entire life.

    Right now I live in my worst nightmare and I will not forgive and i cannot forget, it feels like im going to die.
    Sense Friday I have had several panic attacks, can't, sleep, cant eat, im just in this big dark hole. I have booked several therapy sessions and talked to my doctor. The baby is planed to come in 40 days

    Pleas help me how do i survive this?
     
    Sootie, Jun 16, 2020
    Sootie, Jun 16, 2020
    #1
    Wugazi32 likes this.
  2. Jun 16, 2020 #2
    Deleted Account

    Deleted Account Guest

    Hello @Sootie, welcome in our community! I am glad you are reaching out to someone to talk to.

    Maybe you can give us some more details about your history together. Has been porn addiction a severe issue in the past for him and your relationship togehter?

    Did he promise you in the past that he never would do it again? What is the action that hurts you the most right now and did you both spoke about it in a calm manner already?

    We are here to help and support each other. You are not alone in this. :)
     
    Deleted Account, Jun 16, 2020
    Deleted Account, Jun 16, 2020
    #2
    Wugazi32 likes this.
  3. Jun 16, 2020 #3
    Sootie

    Sootie Fapstronaut

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    Thanks, Im happy to find this place, cant realy talk about this with my friends!

    Im not sure but I was extremly clear to him before we got in relation that if he whants to be in relation with me Porn and other kind of sexualing of woman is not accepted. I know he watched befor but promised never to do that again.
    But he did and I broke up with him. After a year apart we got back together and he promised med that never going to happend again.
    After I got pregnant I have had a feeling he started again and we talked about my fear of him doing that and I explained the konsekvenses clearly. - that I divorse him.
     
    Sootie, Jun 16, 2020
    Sootie, Jun 16, 2020
    #3
    Wugazi32 likes this.
  4. Jun 16, 2020 #4
    Deleted Account

    Deleted Account Guest

    Addiction has a strong suffering component. Usually addicts do not realize their problem(s) until this suffering component showes itself. Often they have to face issues like in their relationships, erectile dysfunction or lowering of performance in their personal and professional lifes until the realization that something is wrong in their lifes. I wrote a summary about a great book that was very helpful on the way to my recovery: https://forum.nofap.com/index.php?threads/summary-junkies-like-us-by-kurosch-yazdi.280446/ It was generally written for partners and relatives of addicts but was also a great help for me too. Being addict doesn't only mean to be perpetrator but also to be a victim.

    Addiction means loss of control and that is often hard to admit. Admit to yourself and to others. It was also a hard process for myself until I was ready to admit my addiction problem. As an addict you lie to yourself and sadly to others too. For me it was never the objective to hurt others by lying, even the opposite, to protect them, but now I know I did others wrong by my doing and hurt the ones that were closest to me. The real reason of not telling the truth will only your husband be able to answer.

    Do you plan to go there alone or with your partner? I am sure that it could help you both talk in a save but open environment with guidelines and rules that enables to say everything that needs to be said to each other.

    PS.: There is a subforum that is dedicated for partner support: https://forum.nofap.com/index.php?forums/partner-support.32/ Maybe one of our lovely moderators (@Coffee Candy, @LanaDelRey or @Beamer) is able to move this thread over there? :)
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 16, 2020
    Deleted Account, Jun 16, 2020
    Deleted Account, Jun 16, 2020
    #4
  5. Jun 16, 2020 #5
    Real Roboin

    Real Roboin Fapstronaut

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    so very sorry, know that feeling
     
    Real Roboin, Jun 16, 2020
    Real Roboin, Jun 16, 2020
    #5
    Wugazi32 likes this.

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