I Really Need Help

What are you doing to combat social isolation?

 

Having a few close guys friends that I don't have to hide anything from has helped me tremendously. They know what I think, they bust my balls, and I don't have to put up a facade to get their approval. Friends like that go a long way in life.

 

The #1 thing that has worked for me recently is to listen & learn about how people addicted to alcohol try to get off the bottle. Talk about scary. A British guy named Craig Beck has excellent, no BS videos on Youtube. Whenever he mentions a desire for alcohol, just substitute the word porn and it'll hit home. He made me realize will power is a joke, which was the most eye opening thing I have ever heard since trying to get rid of this disgusting addiction of mine. Anyway, even if you don't like his message you will still learn something. Education is very powerful when trying to overcome this or any addiction. Good luck.

 

For me masturbation is a hobby, any hobby can be addictive, when I get bored i.e when I have free time I enjoy my hobbies.
Right now when I get bored I use the time to learn or go to another hobby.
Not only was PMO (hopefully it stays was!) ruining my life but it’s a hobby that gets boring.
I find word games on my phone work my mind and distract me enough.

 

Did you make your guy friends in everyday life along the way, or did you go out of your way to make friends?

 

Friends of friends, board games, marijuana anonymous, and work. I've also got my friends out at the monastery. The ones I am closest with are from marijuana anonymous. There are boat loads of guys busy with porn on the internet, trying to gain confidence with women, and struggling to level up in one way or another. The more we can find each other, compare notes, and push each other in the right direction the better off we are. I am thinking of joining my local political party because that's really got me motivated. Also sand volleyball. Just pick something and go do it. You've got to have at least one person in your life that you can invite along with you if you are afraid to go alone.

 

Nerve like a steel, soul like platinum. That the 2 factors can prevent you from relapse. From my experience, if you used an app or internet block to stop from pmo, it is not helping so much because you are much more smarter than the smartphone. Dont give up yaa, fight it like a warrior with full of strategy

 

Pm+ are normal, that is not the same as good. Many good things are not normal, the number of people who do something has a surprisingly low correlation with its helpfulness in many cases. Basically I'm saying it's ok for you and me to be abnormal.
I tried a lot of the same things to stop and they had the same efficacy. It is an inside job and you're right that something more than will power is needed. I saw a bumper sticker once that said "will power is not a real power." Of course will power world for me for some things but my will used to be to have more pm+ so obviously will power wouldn't have worked to get free of pm+ addiction.
This is unlikely to submit to tricks and life lessons, I needed a complete overhaul of my thinking. I should qualify that: tops and tricks won't help a real addict, but someone who just has a pm problem it totally could work. This is a forum for addicts so as an addict I talk that way and assume others here are addicts so nothing else will work. But it's easy to misdiagnose ourselves, we don't have a lot of science to it it's just 'i use pm so I must b addicted" and of course many times we see the opposite difficulty, "I'm just watching hardcore BDSM, it's normal everybody does it. Oh they don't? Well it's just porn so it's not hurting anybody." So I like to think of it more as a choice and see how I like the results of my choice. I don't know if it's possible to be addicted to pm but I choose to be a pm+ addict today
One thing that helps me is practicing the solution for anger (easier said than done last if why it comes to mind is I'm feeling anger now

 

I just saw the YouTube video where Beck mentions this. Did you happen to hear his tool for breaking the subconscious connection? He mentioned Ivan Pavlov’s experiment with dogs and how Pavlov extended his research by stop ringing the bell altogether after months leading to deconditioning the dogs. In the case of alcoholics and sex addicts, how do you stop ringing our bell? Because that urge will be there and will power has obviously failed to help us in the past. What is different?

 

Apparently the password locker didn't work. Otherwise you couldn't bypass the locker. Don't fool yourself.

What are you gonna do to not relapse again?
What actions will you take?
What will you do when you have urges?

 

I have been trying not to watch porn and masturbate but I am not able to do it. After breaking streak of 10 days I am feeling sad and depressed and my urges are becoming stronger. somebody please help me.

 

Yeah, he does that old Pavlov talk a few times. He is certainly trying to get people to take his course, which I fully understand.
I honestly do not know if we can stop the bell ringing. I think what he is getting it is that we need to stop responding as we have in the past, which is no easy task. I'm not endorsing his course in any way, but I must admit when he talks about will power being bullshit, I sat up and listened. I think I was suspecting this for a long time. Anyway, I agree with your point. I really believe that by learning how other addicts have suffered we can learn a lot. For me, being grateful that I am not an alcoholic or a drug addict (maybe it could have happened, who knows?) gives me a stronger passion to kick PMO to the ground forever and ever. Cheers, brother.

 

I can see how this misunderstanding occurred. I should have said that i have not had to use any form of sex with self, partners other than the spouse nor any form of pornography since 3/12/2013. If you or anyone herehas anyquestions I would welcome a personal message