Howdy! A guy who has been addicted to masturbation for 17 years.

Hello fapstronauts. I am 27 years old and I discovered masturbation when I was 10 after first being sexually abused at a younger age. I've known I have a problem with masturbation for approximately 10 years, deep down I've always known however that hasn't stopped me from doing it.
When I think about the time I have spent alone, feeling depressed and masturbating for countless hours it is very hard for me to think about how I have been able to accomplish some good into my life.
I have a great job that I love. I graduated from university being literally the first in my family to do so, I have been in a relationship with my girlfriend for 7 years and we've had ups and downs like everyone.
I have been able to live abroad for a year and have a few material things I have desired.
However; I have also hit rock bottom with my addiction.
I have lost all credibility with the people around me. I have lied, cheated, and done shameful things I deeply regret having done. Terrible things because of the addiction and my lack of self-control.

I have tried psychotherapy, going to a psychiatrist, support groups, 12 step programs, and although those things have been a tremendous help I always end up relapsing.

My major goal here is to be able to reboot and turn my life around. This has been a problem long enough and I want it long gone.

I come from a family with a history of addiction so I guess I learned about addiction long before I even developed my own addiction.

 

Thank you so much for all your tips. I totally agree with you. These past few days haven't been hard for me at all because I haven't spent much time alone at the house.
I would like to have a porn blocker on both my laptop and my cellphone.

 

Thank you so much for the warm welcome! I am here to stay and really be a part of the journey.

 

Thank you everybody for your positive vibes!
I appreciate all your tips and comments.

 

I will be posting my journey in the 25-29 category. To be very honest yesterday I fell asleep thinking about childhood traumas and I remember seeing the images very vividly in my head. Today I woke up very tired but I managed to go through the day and to stay away from porn.

 

Thanks for the message! I am sure we all relate to each other in the pain and struggle we have gone through and we all agree that enough is enough.
Sure thing we will beat this!

 

I will be writing mainly a vague background since I don't want to go too much into detail. I will post a link to my journal as I am writing more of it.