Need some answers please.

In my opinion..
1. It is ok to do it, but in your case i will abstain from it to accumulate tension and maybe after a good streak of days you are going to be a lot more araused to get hard for sex.
2. Of course, intimacy with your partner is ok.
3. Yes you can have oral and do it to her, just use it as foreplay until you get hard to have sex. If you are not hard enough and you are about to come don't do it.

Forget about orgasm for a while and only focus on having fun with her in bed. When your little buddy gets up have sex, made sex the only way you are going to have and orgasm.

 

Having sex with my girlfriend actually helped me a lot when fighting my ED. You have to rewire your brain to get used to the real thing again and that takes time. Also I had to get rid of a lot of anxiety. Everything is allowed but nothing should be forced! Just chill and enjoy the moment together. If you can't get an erection do not force anything. Most important for both of you should be to take the stress away. Take it slow and one step at a time and you will see fast progress. Slow sex and tantric methods could also help you. You can pleasure each other in many ways without penetration! Also, being not hard can happens to non porn consumers from time to time due to stress or worries. Pleasuring each other will give you both confort and get you closer. I think that is possitive as long as you don't experience the chaser effect afterwards!

 

I totally agree with @tavla

 

THIS!