The Lord of the Rings Challenge

Day two in the challenge but day 12 in my current streak.

 

Checking in for 9 days

 

Day 1 Check in!

 

Day 5.

 

Happy Evening
Day 21.....

 

Day 44 done. Onto Day 45! Safe journeys fellow companions.

 

Day 38!

 

day 1 completed

 

Day 6

 

One day away from the bridge! 55 days down.

 

Let's do this !

 

Day 25

I was plagued by doubts over my ejaculation in the shower yesterday, on whether it was masturbation. I was going out of my way not to masturbate, but was really triggered by lustful thoughts, so when I washed myself, my body took it upon itself to “explode”. After I showered again today I realized that I tend to stroke my penis while I shower (and outside the shower sometimes) because I can get really painful erections (I think due to some damage I inflicted on myself many years ago by accident, when I used to masturbate heavily. Now when I masturbate I have to hold it a certain way that accommodates the pain). The stroking is not done out of desire to masturbate, but I did have a painful erection yesterday and when I washed myself, I may have been putting more pressure than was useful to relieve some of the discomfort, and needless to say, in my triggered state, my body took over from their. While I do not count this as masturbation, due to intent, it was a wake-up call that I may need to try other methods to treat the pain.

Question for everyone, have any of you sustained permanent/semi-permanent injuries due to excessive PMO? And if so, for those with a sex life, has it impacted how you have sex. I am terrified of my first real life sexual encounter because I have a permanent crook down there, and because of that damage, I normally can only “get off” a certain way which does not mimic real life sex. Though I suppose since I have been abstaining from masturbation for three and a half weeks now, yesterday may have been a good sign that in the future if I continue to abstain, regular function will return, and my injury may eventually correct itself.

Now that I think about it that way, my ejaculation should not be a point of shame, but rather a ray of hope that normal function will return as I continue to Mount Doom. It is also a wake-up call that I need to change how I manage the painful erections so that this sort of thing does not happen anymore. As I finish writing this, I am starting to realize that not only am I a porn addict, but I am also addicted to masturbation, and that in order to beat the second half of my addiction, I need to stop stroking my penis even if I am experiencing painful erections, because that might be a type of edging, even if that is not my intentions.

I hope you all do not think I am in denial or delusional in my thinking because I am not counting this as a relapse, but I do promise, that if this happens again, I will count it as a relapse on masturbation.

Thank you.
Best,
Mathman1994

 

Well, I masturbated a few minutes ago, I guess I just struggled with guilt over yesterday, and it got to me. I am not resetting my counter because it is keeping track of how long I have been without porn, but I will be an orc again, @RiseToGreatness

I am disappointed in myself, but now I can no longer feel guilty and move on.

Day 0 no Masturbation
Day 25 no porn

Best,
Mathman1994

 

Day 15/500
@RiseToGreatness
Please can you promote my name from Uruk-Hai to Hobbit list.
Have a good day.

 

Day 6. A Uruk-hai once again... It is truly irritating restart all over again... I will use it as a motivation to not fall again.

 

Guys, I'm going to be honest. I'm not sure counting days works for me. Every time I pass any sort of milestone, no matter how small, I find myself relapsing the day or two after. That happened just now. I think I'll still check in here often (probably still daily for a bit) but I want to switch to a spreadsheet instead to track my progress, so that less emphasis is on passing X days and more on going as long as possible clean.

 

I'll stop browsing for a while. Unless I need it. Relapsed because I fished (That's how it's called, right?) in order to find content "by accident".

Also, I'll try counting differently so that I can have a goal. Think I was a bit aimless.

0/500

 

Day 2 Check in!

 

Day 3.

 

Day 60. I believe that puts me in the confines of the woods of Lorién. That dreamy realm of the white ring. Home to Celeborn and Lady Galadriel, fair as the morning.