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Hello everyone this is my story

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by Zero22, Jun 27, 2020.

  1. Zero22

    Zero22 Fapstronaut

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    (Sorry for any mistakes english is not my mother language)

    Hello everyone I have been lurking here for some time now but the last relapse and binge broke me so much i decided to make an acount.
    I am 22 years old who works out, doesn't smoke, doesn't drink but i have porn addiction and have been doing MO since a very young age and PMO multiple time a day since i was 15.
    I have never had a girlfriend because porn has ruined my self esteem so much i was running away from girls even though i am very well built and lots of girls called me handsome.
    I didn't realise i had a problem until i couldn't get an erection no matter what porn i was watching and i was looking for incest, rape, ect. It got so bad i was downloading tor to look for messed up videos on the dark web, i knew what i was doing was bad but i still couldn't stop.
    At age 20 i found PeGym and that helped me see how bad porn can be and i decided to quit and was doing very good for couple of months, i could get hard erections i looked at girls with respect and was ready to find a girlfriend, i was a new person. Then i got a very sterssful job, stopped working out, gaind weight and after some time my depression was back and i was back to doing PMO miltiple times a day.
    Then around two months ago i was browsing those nsfw sub reddits to PMO and found porn with a girl who looks just like the girl i love for more than 10 years (it isn't her, we are not form USA and she doesn't speak english) after watching the video i cried for almost an hour, it messed me up so much i have very rappid mood swings which i never had before watching that video. That is when i swore to never watch porn again.
    I have been on 5-10+ day streaks for the last two months. But the relapse i had yesterday after 15+ days of no P and 5+ days of no MO was so bad, and i binged 2 more times today i feel so down and depressed i signed up here to take it off my chest and look for help with my addiction.
    Sorry for the long post.
     
  2. Hi Zero welcome to NoFap. I just wanted to say we all support you here on NoFap and thanks for sharing your story. It sounds like you are on the right path, you just need more time in my opinion. Don't discount your streaks that you have already accomplished. I also think (if you havent already) that reading articles and watching videos about how it affects your brain and emotions can be beneficial. The Ted talk the great porn experiment is a good one. Sometimes understanding it better can help you find ways to beat it. Also don't beat yourself up for binging. Just try to learn from it next time it happens. Remember that there is a chaser effect after a relapse. If you know it's coming you may have a better chance of resisting it. Good luck brother I hope you succeed.
     
  3. palindromo

    palindromo Fapstronaut

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    Welcome
    Please, start studying carefully what's happening in your mind > https://oceanrecoverycentre.com/2016/07/the-ultimate-guide-to-overcoming-internet-porn-addiction/

    First time without porn will be stressful , but if you resist , in some months you will feel reborn.

    If the first times a person relapse easly, it's okay.
    The streaks becomes even longer , day by day.
    Don't porn anymore, it's better to struggle and at the last to relapse than to look at porn.
    No more instagram pictures of models. No more erotic imagines , erotic stories or erotic asmr.
    If you experience ''flatline'' and low libido , resist.
    > https://www.yourbrainonporn.com/por...l-size-and-or-libido-are-decreasing-flatline/

    An effective weapon to overcome urges and thoughts : mindfulness.
    The brain will try to win you and to get some triggers for the seek of dopamine. Resist
     
  4. | Nico |

    | Nico | Distinguished Fapstronaut
    NoFap Defender

    Welcome to the community ;) all the best on your journey, if you have any questions or concerns please dont hesitate to ask us. Have a great day.
     
  5. Zero22

    Zero22 Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for the nice words, i feel a little better since the relapse. I will beat this addiction and become a better person.
    I installed several site blokers and put passwords so i can't turn them off or uninstall them, i started working out again, and started learning a new language.
     
  6. :)-keepsmiling

    :)-keepsmiling Fapstronaut

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    You can do this!
    Keep working!
     
  7. Zero22

    Zero22 Fapstronaut

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    Thanks
    I have read the articles and have insight on the ''chaser effect" so i try to avoid it.
    I have also started doing "penis exercises" again and that has helped me keep my mind off porn.
     
  8. IbrahimViking

    IbrahimViking Fapstronaut

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    You're on the right path, and you're in the right place, and at the right time, and with the right people. Great! Congratulations and welcome, mate.
    ᕙ( : ˘ ∧ ˘ : )ᕗ
     
    Breakthrough23 and palindromo like this.
  9. Good Luck my friend, if you give your best you will be definitely free from masturbation.
     
    IbrahimViking and Breakthrough23 like this.

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