Self-pity, Depression, And Negative Emotions Are A Choice

Like many of you I use to wallow in self pity and negative emotions. While waiting for someone to come tell me the magic formula to all my problems. And was plagued by bouts of depression. But I found a way out, a way to deal with those problems on my own


4 year ago I had dropped out of university, was doing CIMA to make my dad happy, had no real friends in Zambia, was anxious, depressed, and had no direction in life. And of course beat my meat to my hearts content. A couple months later I got accepted into a good university in the UK, thinking that I need to leave Africa in order to solve all my problems. But then I could not get a scholarship, which devastated me, my dad had tried everything he could to help me.

When I got the news was so shocked that I went to sleep to try to calm myself. When I woke up I cried like a little bitch for 20 mins after which I made a promise to myself to make money so I would never be at the mercy of other peoples power. I began looking up ways I could make money as a broke drop out with no CV. Then I found stock trading and real estate. I began teaching my self the next day, even made my own schedule. That kept me going for 2-3 months, my depression was mostly gone, anxiety was reduced, and so was my self-pity. This did no last every long. And I got depressed again because of no real social circle. Later on I would pick up working out and reading self help books. I would follow this cycle for a year or so.


During my time in Zambia I would be doing fine until something I was trying failed, or I got rejected, got an argument with my dad and it would knock me off my horse. I would begin to pity my self, feel depressed, feel sad and all sort of other negative emotions. This would happen periodically and sometime it would trigger a relapse. But each time fell down I would get back a bit stronger mentally. Without realizing it I was developing mental strength. But how did I get back up again?


This is a bat comic strip that summarizes my philosophy on this ( link). Every time I felt self-pity, depression, negative emotions I would remind my self that I alone was responsible for my state of mind. I learned from not getting a scholarship that no one was coming to save me or help me achieve my goals, it was up to me. I had to ‘get back up’ own my own.

Being depressed and coming out of it taught me that I could change my mind. Yes, there are some people with severe depression but they are the exception not the rule. If you Google how to cure depression you will find the answer so: why not follow the steps? When I saw what my high school friends where achieving it would get me down but then I realized that if they could do it so could I.


With negative emotions/mindset I learned to see my self as a victor not a victim through positive affirmations. I saw that I had two choices in front of me; first I could feel sorry for my self, spiral into depression, kick myself while I was down, stay a victim. Or two: I would do something about it. Two other tools that helped me build this mindset were history and stories. With history I would read about my favorite figures and see that they overcame their struggles/hardships and went on to make history. With stories I loved ones where the hero had to overcome their struggle ‘slay their dragon’. This could be action movies or fictions books. Movies are for when you feel down for one day or so. Book are great for when going through something for a short period of time. I have also used comic books, and anime. You might have to use different tools to draw strength and inspiration from


I have told you about how I pulled myself up countless times after different setbacks. Given you different examples too. How each event made me mentally stronger and more resilient. Even told you how I picked myself up, the tools I used. So do you choose to pity your self, live with depression, or let negative emotions’ rule your life? Or do you choose to pick your self up and do something about?

Tell me your choice down below.
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you cant control the world around you but you can choose how you react to it either a positively or negatively.

That was from 'Fear the Fear and do it anyway' a great book to read. You know the main message and how to use it. Thanks for your story. Good luck to you