Going out in the real world again

I think this is a mistake that many people on NoFap make. The goal isn't to stop viewing women as a pleasure. That is normal. That is natural. The issue is seeing them as JUST a pleasure. The simple fact that you're here posting about it, shows that you've already achieved this. Why would you even post this if you didn't care about women as human beings?

That's one of the many sinister tricks of this addiction. It corrupts our sexuality to the point of pathology, and when we begin to heal ourselves we aren't sure what authentic, healthy sexuality actually looks like. Being sexually aroused by some thick women in tight leggings is very normal, authentic, healthy sexuality!

The key however, is to make sure your relationship with this arousal is healthy. Are you staring too long? That's an issue. It's okay to look, but it should be done in a way where no one notices. Lingering stares are very noticeable. How do you feel afterward? Do you feel yourself approaching relapse? If you do, this isn't necessarily a bad thing. Again, normally functioning arousal SHOULD make you approach relapse. That's the whole point of arousal, right?

However, the thing is we are porn addicts. We have had our sexuality corrupted. We do feel ourselves approaching relapse when we become aroused. That's a problem. The answer that many give is to avoid arousal until you've attained a high enough streak that you aren't in danger of using porn when you become aroused. The community standard is 90 days. This is a pretty good standard that I generally agree with, although different people have different numbers.

My advice, until you reach 90 days, do your best to avoid arousal. Don't seek out arousing stimuli like women at the gym. If you see them, okay that's fine, but try to make a point of not looking at them. This will also help train your brain to ignore arousing stimuli. If you do become aroused though, take a moment to become conscious of how arousal feels in the body. Try to locate it. It's usually located in the penis. Take a few breaths. With each inhale, feel the arousal swell, and with each exhale, imagine that arousal is exiting out your mouth with a breath. This will decrease the arousal. It will also teach you how to control your arousal once you've recovered enough to begin working on a healthy relationship with arousal.

 

I honestly wouldn't beat yourself up about it dude.

Guess what, you are straight male, and this means being sexually attracted to beautiful females. I do understand that you may feel that your obsession with sex is a little out of control, and you want to improve this (kudos btw, it's an admirable trait), but the way to do this is to be kinder to yourself and not let perfectly natural (perhaps uncontrolled, but still natural) urges bring you down. You will be much more disiciplined in controlling your libido in time, that I'm sure.

P.S I'm not an expert by any means and am going through my own struggles, but as is usually the case with many third parties, I'm quite good at giving advice.

I don't know you mate, but I'm proud of you for wanting to better yourself