Recovering Porn addict my story (Please Read)

Recovering Porn addict my story (Please Read)

Hi, I am a university student studying electronic engineering 4yr course, I’m 21 yrs of age and I've been a hardcore porn addict for 10 yrs now. I first attempted to stop at the age of 15 yrs due to my unhealthy habit with porn and damage to my frontal lobe and other symptoms such as:

Impaired working memory (short term memory) and concentration

Pornographic Picture Processing Interferes With Working Memory Performance

Impaired Verbal speech

Impaired Recent Verbal Memory in Pornography-Addicted Juvenile Subjects (2019)

Exploring depression, self-esteem and verbal fluency with different degrees of internet addiction among Chinese college students (2016)

Depression and Anxiety

Desensitized Dopamine receptors low motivation

Brain Structure and Functional Connectivity Associated With Pornography Consumption: The Brain on Porn (2014)



My story


Throughout my teens I was really sociable and extroverted, I started watching porn at the age of 11 and have been a porn addict for 11 yrs, I’ve had multiple reboot attempts but have failed miserably until recently figuring a way prevent myself from accessing pornography on all my devices using software such as detoxify and k9 web protection combined on my PC, giving up admin rights, however, I can still install software through the Microsoft store but not external software that requires admin rights in order to function.


I’ve suffered from impaired working memory and concentration problems, anxiety, and depression leading to a suicide attempt and failed my 4yr electronic degree twice due to procrastination anxiety, depression, concentration, and memory problems. I’ve felt like such a failure but took a year off to abstain from porn so I could improve my symptoms and focus on my studies when I return. In the last 10 yrs, I’ve had mood swings, been diagnosed with anxiety and depression, been prescribed Zoloft due to panic attacks in lectures.


I came across Gary Wilson and his site your brain on porn after researching multiple forums on porn addiction and others like me. I was interested but skeptical at first on the research on the effect of porn on the brain but noticed that I share the same problems that former addicts experienced whilst being hardcore porn addicts. One example is an increased novelty, changed sexual taste, fetishes, and problems speaking to the opposite sex.


I’ve had low motivation, mood swings, poor impulses, and suicidal thoughts leading to an attempt on my life. It’s affected my family greatly but I’m still embarrassed to speak to them about my addiction as I’m afraid of their reaction, so far I’ve only confided in my friends about my addiction and problems but they do not understand and don’t take it seriously in the slightest, often laughing or cracking jokes. After repeated panic attacks in my lectures at university and speaking to a counselor, mentor & course leader about my anxiety diagnoses I requested 1 yr off from studies.


How I prevent access to pornography on devices

Due to the nature of my course and my passion for technology abstaining from porn as been hard as I’ve failed so many times finding bypasses and poor software. However, through trial and error, I’ve figured out a way to prevent access to porn completely through any means on my mobile phone and PC.

Mobile Alcatel 8050D (android 5.1-6) Mobilefence + Detoxify

Removed bootloader

Blocked safe mode

VPN porn filter and protection

Windows PC Detoxify + K9 web protection

Blocked safe mode

No admin rights

VPN porn filter and protection