2 years free from P bondage

Hey!



Wanted to share with others, it is possible to become long term P free, even if you have been addicted since long time, even since from childhood. I'm two years free from P, I had one last time relapse to hypno P in May 2018.

​

Warning! Hypno P probably much more dangerous than any other form of P, stay away from it, unless you want to get serious nerve/brain damage. Stay away from all hypnosis, I warned you. That is a deadly poison. It should be banned.


My last big relapse's story:
Happened in November 2017, I was looking for "relaxation meditation recordings". I was into those things at that time, because I believed all the blabla propaganda its "so healthy" etc. Well in short, I was very wrong in past, and since I stay miles away from anything that start with meditation, "relaxation", but I keep that story for an other topic.


My biggest curse was I found a hypno P recording meanwhile thanks to my browsing.

At that moment I had maybe a 7-8 months PMO free run, around November 2017, my PAWS symptoms nearly all gone at that time, even I did not know about what is paws, and kindling back then. You neither? That a big problem!

Then I lisened to that hypno record, and I lost my mind, seriously.

Someone who knows what paws, kindling mean will understand what it can cause to relapse after that time range, and what it could mean to relapse to something new disgusting sh!t.

In short you frie your nerves for good. I kept binging to that poison maybe for a month, then stopped around the end of December 2017. I only could done that after I destroyed, throwed away all headset that would allow me to listen to it. This way I could stay clean until May, 2018 when I just found a headset, and relapsed one last time, no binging then.


January 2018, my symptoms, my journey in hell:

• burning muscles, skin
• shaking, fevers, muscle tremors, body shaking, muscle stiffness, panic attacks
  
• stabilizer muscles around my spine stopped working well, low muscle tone, felt like a rag-doll
• headpressure, headache, burning brain feeling
  
• insomnia, just could not even sleep
• constant fatigue, mental and physical, i could hardly understand what i read, memory? hah
  
• constant anxiety, then derealization, world looked like an alien dimension, kinda
• felt like i got no personality, no emotions
• and probably forgot some more
• no motivation, depression, suicidal thoughts
• no orgasm feeling, numb penis, no erection
• chest pressure, feeling like I can not get air
• got EMG, NCV results in 2019, still showing mild nerve damage
• heard speaking voices in my head from those records, rarely
  
• and probably a few more symptoms, those I forgot, thanks God

I had one planned relapse after being 500 days PMO free, to test if things still working with M. After that I had one time relapse to M around 2-3 months later.


May 2020, symptoms I still experience:

• headpressure, headaches
• sometimes brainfog, with low motivation
• muscle tone still not restored fully, and stabilizer muscles still sometimes lazy to work as they used before

Thanks God I got my emotions back, I can sleep, I can think well, I can study, work, exercise. No more fatigue. I feel motivation, and alive again, and able to enjoy life.
Got my morning erections back, wet dreams every few weeks, feeling of libido, and so on.


Thanks to the grace of God I survived the last years, so I count this as a succes story. Learn from my mistakes!

 

Did u ever have pied? If so when did u cure it?

 

Yes, my current streak is free from all PMO.

In January 2018 I could hardly even feel my penis while M. I can tell for sure my pied is cured once I done the rewiring part, but that I got morning wood in most morning good sing i guess. I would say having morning woods nearly every morning came back in last 4 months. So after 1,5 years atleast. I had weeks before that when I had morning woods too.
Anyway take into account I got nerve damage proved by doctor, I do not think would take for anyone that long of recovery, without nerve damages.

Yw, I had to share so other will not give up too early. I remember I gathered motivations too from stories.
I have not done rewiring yet, I can not tell that. Maybe 1-2 months ago I still had dream about P, I hope rewiring will delete those dreams from my brain for good.

The 1st relapse to M was planned, 2nd relapse to M was not planned! I choose to M without fantasies, cause I felt I become too triggered to open some sites, that If I open I will lose alot. To be honest, I should instead took a walk then to prevent P relapse. But it shows even after years someone can become so triggered. Addicts need to stay alert rest of them life, or a relapse will hit you. I got two years without P, but between my planned, and unplanned M relapse 2,5 months too.

If you prone to the effects of kindling, that mean if you relapse then you will become more addicted then before, if you M and that will activate in your brain those parts related to PMO it can set you back, even after years. It is only my opinion, and it also depend on a person. It not true for everyone.

Exactly, be careful guys, relapses can cost alot.

Yw! Yes I think everyone need to know nofap mean alot of struggling. That "superpowers" propaganda will just give false beliefs for people, and more relapse, more pain.
I had the most serious symptoms after I stopped that binging session in end of 2017. I was far from symptom free before that too, but I kinda started to improve alot in 2017 end, before that big relapse.

Common advice, how to know if you will probably will relapse very soon?
a. you feel very badly at the moment
b.you feel yourself very good compared to previous days, weeks

 

Hey man, thanks for sharing your story. Its always inspirational to read about success from people who are struggling just like myself

Just curious...are you saying these are things you had while watching p or during withdrawl?

Keep up the great work!

 

Thanks. Gz for you streak too! You writing saying very well, the urge is coming...can anytime.

Electromyography(EMG) + Nerve Conduction Velocity (NVC) + I also had a Mep test(motor evoked potentials),that was a pure joy....of hell.

 

Best thing you can do to stay away from hypnosis, indeed. My opinion pmo alone induce a hypnosis like state also.

That you saying interesting! Can you please tell me who suggested you, and where, when to listen to these tapes? You can message me in private too.

 

206 more days. Time goes fast.

I will delete my account, as I do not see the point to be here, until im fully recovered yet.

Stay strong, and pmo free.

God bless you all!

TantusJulius