Hey everyone! New guy here

Phew Where to start?
Im 27 male, married for 2 years and we have a 7month old daughter. I guess she and my wife are the reason Im here, although to be honest, I've been putting this off for days now.

I have been addicted to pornography and masturbation since I was 10. At a very early age, I was introduced to pornography. I didn't really understood it then, but that it felt good. But I wasn't hooked then. When life happened, my family was forced to move to another city. That's when I met my friends. They were good kids, and they really cared about me. I learned to properly dress because of them, I experienced a whole lot of fun adventures, but they also introduced me to masturbation, and I guess that's where it all really started. I don't regret meeting them, I regret that I didn't have anyone telling me about this before.

Time passed and Im still hooked and at this point I am no longer enjoying this. I haven't been for years now.

I should mention that Im religious and pretty active in the church. But it hurts so much to know that I have been lying to everyone about my state. Im embarrassed to talk about worthiness and purity when I feel so filthy myself. Im a hypocrite.

But please dont assume that I am doing this for my religion. I guess it's a part, but the real reason are my wife and daughter. Especially my daughter. Especially my child. I don't want her growing up drowing in the thing I am in right now. I dont want her to ever go near that place. But how could I when I an neck deep in it?

I tried what my faith told me to do. I tried to listen to voices of encouragement in almost all places. But I guess that's just it. I just try. I know my triggers. I know what turns me on. I know what I should avoid and I know what I should be doing. Im just so damn lazy.

I really hate myself for this. I hate what I have become and I am in pain.

I guess what I am realizing is I don't need the self-help crap. I need people I can talk to. I need people to know. I need people who are trying to do better in the same struggle I am in.

Still, I try to look hopeful. I look forward to being a part of the community.