Couldnt get it up with gf

I had a sexual relationship that lasted for about a year and a half, and during much of the time I experienced some difficulty getting aroused. My conclusions here are only based on my personal thoughts and introspection so take them with a grain of salt: I attribute my ED in those situations to not experiencing in real life what I was used to experiencing while watching porn. My gf at the time was attractive, but had plenty of flaws and would not do many of the things I wanted to do and see in porn. And to make matters worse, when the pressure was on to get hard in order to not hurt my then-girlfriend's feelings, it made it even more difficult to become aroused. There were times this led to me crying on the bedside because I was so hurt that I couldn't do this.

This is one of the major reasons I'd like to quit porn, I just wanted to chime in that I can relate to your situation, and that sometimes just the pressure to get an erection is enough to kill it.

 

It is probably a result of the disconnect between fantasy while masturbating and reality. I had similar problems with the first girl I had sex with, and I wondered for a long time why it did not feel as good as I was led to believe sex would be. It really comes down to a breakdown on two fronts, in actually: mechanical and mental.

Mechanically, the tightness of your grip and the degree to which you understand what pleases you mean that excessive masturbation will condition you for a sexual experience that real sex does not resemble very well.

Mentally, as originally stated, has to do with what pleases your brain being conditioned by pornography, and also does not resemble reality. It also includes what Be Aware was saying about performance anxiety. Sometimes, the pressure of getting in the game is too much to handle and your body will refuse to perform.

These are issues you would be best to discuss with any woman you plan to spend a lot of time with. It will make you feel better and perhaps perform better by having her understand you, and it will clear up confusion she may be having over why you do not seem to be as interested in her as she thought.

 

I don't know your porn usage history, but that all sound like like a combination of PIED and performance anxiety, which is very common. Your brain is conditioned to the images on the screen, regardless if its regular porn, facetime or something else. And your brain is desensitized to a point that the real woman does not arouse you enough to cause an erection.
It's mandatory to:
1. quit looking at sexy images on the screen (porn, video chats with girls and so on)
2. get used to being intimate with a girl and relax as much as it is posible
That's the only way you can regain your normal sexuality. After a while it will become easier and you will enjoy every moment of it.

 

Good advices