Best way to destroy PMO

You need to ask yourself " do I love or hate porn?" And answer it truthfully, whole yea you may want to quit, but do u hate it?!! And if you dont like it not watching it gives you more pleasure than doing it cuz ur doing what you want

 

To me the biggest switch happened when I changed my view on what porn is. So many posters on this board treat porn as if it is a supernatural, all-powerful entity that has entered ones brain. If you think of it this way you are bound to loose because you have given it so much power to begin with. Change your view -- porn is merely junk food of the mind. That is it. When you eat bad food you feel like shit, when you dump junk P in your mind for hours on end you will feel like shit. there is no supernatural power it has on you just choose in its place a thing that is better you to consume. You live in an age where the greatest wisdom of the great minds in all the world is a click away, when you put great learnings into your mind you will feel so much better you will wonder why you ever craved anything else.

 

I have decided to create some audio logs of my feeling regarding porn and its effects etc. I am thinking it may be good to hear myself as a way to reflect and improve. My low points and high points too. All as reminder why i wish to kick this habit.

 

Why did you start Nofap ? Just answer this question for yourself...This is exactly what happens when you do PMO ;two people are having sex, you are hiding in the bushes, you M'ing by looking at them. Would you do this in real life? When you do PMO, you do this...Yes, we all did it because we were exposed to socially distorted facts but now you know the truth.Also, PMO harms you equally well with most drugs.My advice to you is to concentrate on more meaningful and productive things.As you continue to absence over time, you will hate PMO even more.

 

Its borderline cuckoldery when you think about it... I wish everyone here to become the best version of themselves.

 

I think you have to deal with the underlying cause of the addiction. PMO is really a solution to a problem. Unless that problem gets solved another way, then eventually the person will go back. Upon recognizing the cause, then one has to be willing to change in order to uproot that problem. And it is through that change one becomes the kind of person who doesn't need nor want PMO.

 

My tip is to leave it as it is. If you relapse it should be a lesson, not something to be sad about. I've relapsed 4 times in a week and kept resetting my counter, all lessons to me, because when I relapsed, I knew what to do after. You gain knowledge and experience to not fall the next time. Remember to understand the reaction of your body and mind after each relapse and you begin to not fall for the next.

You say to yourself: I understood now, but then you relapse. Reset the counter and start again until you gain 360° experience and you won't fall for it. Trust me, next time you are about to relapse you'll say: Am I sure I want to relapse again? I will feel like shit, nah, not again.

 

I like this perspective, most would not risk this due to the shame of being caught. This is the same shame we feel when we succumb to this addiction. This is the same reason we do not go around telling people we are porn addicts. This is why we hide away late at night or when no one is around and indulge. Live you life in a way that you can be proud. Nice post!

 

I believe this is true also, the thing that worries me is that for many the problem is a societal one. Many persons turn to porn due to a lack of social activity, the new norm is to be on social media, play video games, watch net flix. Many of us need to get out more and engage in social activities. It is easy to hide away at home if we feel like no one likes us or we are shy or socially awkward. Many need to face these fears head on, hiding behind all the forms of media, including porn is only way of distracting us from the truth. We need to live more and consume less media. I have recently realized I enjoy a good conversation with friends more than watching a really good tv show. And if I am watching a TV show, it is better with company than doing it alone.

 

Yea, I'm not on social media, unless you count Youtube. I think we'll look back some day and recognize social media for the dumpster fire that it is.

And you're right, a lack of real social activity is a big problem. One of the differences this year, as far as dealing with this addiction, is I found a group of guys through my church and we get together about once a week. None of them have this problem, at least none have admitted it, but they have been essential to me persevering to overcome this problem. I really didn't have any friends to speak of before that. There's all sorts of social nuances that I had missed, especially about being a man. Like we will call each other out on our stuff and can vehemently disagree with each other while remaining friends.

Probably deeper than that is overcoming emotional dependency, which I define as basing one's happiness on how other people respond to you. I think that has been a big reason for me. I have to be okay with me without porn as a crutch.

 

Time will tell regarding Social Media, It probably won't go away as it is a really good tool for advertising but hopefully people will eventually realize what it is good for and what it is not good for.

You also raised a good point on Social Dependency, while you know i endorse healthy social interaction it is also important that you do not become a slave to this also. In my experience I would become very dependent on my significant other. Not that I would overly needy but I was using my relationship as an escape from my porn addiction also. I would be motivated not to use porn because I wanted to be able to perform sexually. I have been in situations where I was with a woman and felt nothing and could not get an erection because i was desensitized from PMO. The feeling sucks!! So if I have a GF this helps to motivate me not to PMO. However when the relationship ends, I find I would turn back to porn as way to fulfill that gap in my life.

We also need to learn to be comfortable being alone, not that you move in to the hills and become hermit but we need to be happy as an individual and not validate ourselves by the relationships we have. Just being you should be good enough.

 

I can only speak for myself but at the beginning you really just have to push through.
Try to exercise as much as possible.
Its only after a while you gain the strength to really build the life you want.

Atleast for me, abstaining was before i could become the person who no longer wants to pmo.

edit: One certain way of becoming a person who doesnt want to PMO, is actually by not PMO'ing, if you wanna look at it that way.