Long Post, Happy to Join 90 Day Challenge

Playing catch up to self made problems

Wasting a moment in hunger while life offers a feast

And corroding the person I will inherit later in my timeline


These are the true invisible enemies in games like this.

Its easy to let them sneak into envelopes like boredom, reward for achievement, and sleep hackz but the cause has nothing to do with the consequence. Like a starry eyed citizen under the music of a Politicians campaign promise, I can let horrible things happen because they sounded good for as many terms as I allow; It remains the fault of my own. The rules of this game are structured and may seem daunting to anyone who reads them and considers the alternative, but I mean to emphasize that the rules of the jungle we create for ourselves is written in invisible ink. We create fabricated incentives to "edge" and "Cave" but it's all just sweet talk to get to the end game,. It means nothing to us in the morning. We know we flirted with our own shadows, and we know we came out of it feeling a little groggier than we liked to believe we would. Its the same music over a black and white movie we can't seem to pause. The jaws of life have growled for years, and I convinced myself I was seeing a smile.

No one knows the side of you that you drag around with you behind closed doors. No one can comment on the wonderful person you are when you shower, go to sleep, and spend recreational time. People can only know the person that tumbles between this triangle of life checkpoints. There is one person at such a throne that they may see you in these remaining leftover moments of your life. Whether you are certain God is your last pair of eyes, or if you give your subconscious and memory enough credit to recognize how much you are harming your own self worth; No action goes truly unnoticed.

I've done my new good habits, I've kept up with life's games, and I've done fine for myself in cultivating skills. As we ALL have, I have totally stacked the bases for the moment that I can just get that last ball out of the park. The anchor on my leg is so easy to ignore for the entire time getting the line drives it took to get me here, but the moment of scanning the ballpark reminds me what's been the central backbone of this whole plan. I've made my own warnings, had my own relapses, and ultimately know what it's like to strike out at the bottom of the 9th. This is my (OUR) opportunity to make the best of our present moment. (Hour)

We remain the wisest possible version of ourselves, after having succeeded and failed literally millions of times in our lives as long as we are older than 3 months. Unless you just got back from cutting your arm off and dripped blood all over your white carpet to come check this post, You have never been stronger at any moment in your entire life. A single breath with courage is more than a thousand free sugary breaths of uncertain breaths we felt we deserved. We created a lot of our own problems, its true. In doing so, we created a lot of our own struggles. Yep, I was there. (Peter Griffin Voice) We even fucked ourselves over from time to time. Yep, I was there. (Repeat joke)

In our fight so far then, we created our own wisdom and courage. We created our own resilience. We created our own compassion for others with bad habits and addiction. We created our own integrity against self deception and unsupervised indulgence. We created our own theatrical dramatic comeback for our part of our lives that we may truly drink the water and not simply wonder what it would be like to drink the water.

We approach the sword in the stone, today.

We walk among people of a common cloth, today. We make a true desire to change our lives into action instead of a mantra, today.

We become a stronger I, and make any team we walk onto that much stronger; today.

For me, For you. For him, For her. For closure on yesterday and For a beginning on tomorrow.
For the Species, the For our dreams, and For glory in our old age.

We have reason to fight.

I'm honored to take this challenge and join you for the next 90 days. I will write a lot very likely throughout this journey and would like very much if you all shed the instinct not to do the same thing. Let it take on the sacredness and poetic weight that any proclamation to change your entire life forever would. It is after all, nothing less.

May your Courage test well in the field, I wish well for everyone in their journey!

 

We are tomorrow who we develop today can boil down the whole thing lol, and I guess it depends if we the perspective end up reproducing