Newbie, serious NoFap issues.

Ok I hope I have not broken any forum rules, I'm posting in the thread space for new to the site. I have always had a difficult time reaching climax having actual sex, depending on how comfortable I am with the person. I tend to not want casual sex, but casual sex seems to be a big thing now. I will keep it short and to the point, I cannot orgasm with someone during sex, doesn't matter how hot you are, I will NOT orgasm. Problem is I want to, and I'm actually disappointing partners and or leaving them confused as to what is my deal. Here's the thing, I have a ton of porn either on my computer and or bookmarked. I CAN orgasm with porn, and it's only with porn now. It doesn't matter how hot or good the person is, I will not orgasm, I sometimes can't even maintain a hardon. I am 44, in reasonably good health, I had my testosterone tested in December levels came back within normal range. I don't get excited like I used to, heart pounding outta my chest, anticipation, none of those things happen in actual sex. I'm embarrassed, Ive gotten to using porn as my "safe" outlet for actual sex. I don't feel free at all, I see guys that orgasm in porn and its like no problem, or they stay very erect no problem, I'm barely either of those during actual sex. I think porn has conditioned my mind to a "set" level of excitement that isn't natural or is overly weighted on sexual imagery. The real deal doesn't do it for me and I hate that because what am I supposed to do never have actual sex again?

 

I'm stuck, I dont really feel comfortable with casual sex, and I would much rather have a partner, but the problems I have, are not good. Casual sex amongst men is fairly common, no names needed. I am exploring this site, and this idea is not new to me, NoFap was an episode of Chelsea Lately on Netflix, before the show was cancelled, that was the first time I ever heard of NoFap, and I knew that NoFap related to me and my sexual dysfunction, it makes no sense I can get off alone to porn but with an actual person that could be in same porn, nope not happening no matter how hard they try and they do.

 

I can and have no choice in accepting being older, but this "sex" thing is NOT healthy, I feel compelled to entice in "sex" online that keeps "evolving" from vanilla to more kink, but I don't really get into kink, I'm not that excited ever. I have patterns I know, I don't watch group sex, because its very unrealistic, I like the amateur stuff, its real, not directed. I like watching "things" that vary from vanilla, exhibition, extremes at times with what the porn stars are doing, but not so much I will cross that line in life. I'm actually a nerdy bore

 

how do you feel at days 30, 31? Today is the day I purge the porn off my computer. Its a lot

 

well I've been researching this, and today I deleted a ton of porn and bookmarks, nofap day one

 

I'm on day 4 nofap, haven't had any urges