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Please help me

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Exia, Jul 12, 2020.

  1. Exia

    Exia Fapstronaut

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    Yesterday, after a long night playing video games on line with my friends, I stayed up late (until 2:00 am) thinking about what changes I could do in my life to become a better person. First thing came into my head was to delete all my porn, which I've been collecting for 5+ years.

    I've tried a few times to quit before, but used to keep stuff of my favorite girl because I could regret it later, which lead to collecting more; but now I compulsively decided to delete everything without thinking.

    This morning I woke up and first thing that comes into my head is regret, and I'm struggling. What can I do? Please somebody help me.
     
    Might_Stag_Beetle likes this.
  2. You did the right thing. It's just years of collection deleted in a few seconds which might shock you.
     
    Might_Stag_Beetle likes this.
  3. Exia

    Exia Fapstronaut

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    Yes...Years of collecting stuff on my external hard drive (deleting process took more than 30 minutes after pressing delete) are now gone, but with the regret comes the urge to download again, like I've lost something of value and that's killing me.
     
  4. Might_Stag_Beetle

    Might_Stag_Beetle Fapstronaut

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    You did good. That urge to collect and watch it all again is strong. The urge will stay strong as long as you feed it. Starve it and it will die, I promise you. Starve it with sheer will power or other activities.
     
  5. vril

    vril Fapstronaut

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    I don't think the regret is a bad thing. It is a sign that you have an emotional attachment to porn. It is fulfilling a need for you. You've given yourself an opportunity to discover what those needs are, as well as a better way to get them fulfilled.

    To get over some of the pressure you may feel to go back to porn, you might tell yourself that you are conducting an experiment. You are going to take the porn variable out of the equation for 30, 60, or 90 days and see what happens. You're going to feel froggy at times and really want to use. Those are important moments to pause and be aware of your emotions instead of covering them up with porn.

    The other thing I would suggest is that *if* you relapse, take it as part of the process of recovery rather than as a failure. Learn from the experience. If you make it an all-or-nothing deal, then you will binge when you relapse and feel worse about yourself. And probably one of the strongest triggers for porn addiction is low self-worth.

    I hope that helps you out.
     

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