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Before I slip away

Discussion in 'Compulsive Sexual Behavior' started by Germancho.01, Jul 13, 2020.

  1. Jul 13, 2020 #1
    Germancho.01

    Germancho.01 New Fapstronaut

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    Hey Everyone, I’m kinda new to the site , I have recently had problems not only with porn but also I’ve been spending way too much money on cam girls and it’s been really hurting my bank account . I started these practices right around quarantine (March or April) just as a curiosity and I ended up liking the feeling and started doing it more often(even at work I masturbated with cam girls ) . That’s been leading me now to meet up with girls but I’m not paying for sex rather it’s just a risky impulsive sexual encounter(girls I’ve met on a dating site). I’ve had problems with pornography since I was eleven and I’m currently 23 . It’s been an ongoing battle and I’ve managed to get as much as a month and a half of nofap no sex but end falling back in the same place . I felt great not looking at porn or masturbating or hooking up It was as if I was much more involved and aware of the moment and I felt more confidence . Ive been deviating from my faith in God as well and this has also affected my relationships with friends and family. I need help I’ve been addicted for too long I wanna break free. I’ve even been a victim of a sextortion (even though I didn’t comply) . I remember that night I was chatting with a girl on messenger and it felt real and she ended asking me if I was alone and if I wanted to see her naked and so I ended up getting naked with her. Ended up being a horrible night I called the cops deactivated my Facebook and WhatsApp .I stopped chatting with cam girls for a while because of that but ended up chatting with them again . I’ve tried so many things to get me to stop and made so many incomplete promises I just really need help at this point in my life . I’ve lost jobs and employment and I feel that the root reasons I’ve lost jobs is because of my impulses and my urge to masturbate . I wanna start again I wanna be free from this cycle I can’t break. As of today I’m on day one and I always end up masturbating like on the fourth day or within that week. Please feel free to comment or share something that could be useful in my case I’d appreciate it so much !
     
    Germancho.01, Jul 13, 2020
    Germancho.01, Jul 13, 2020
    #1
  2. Jul 13, 2020 #2
    Joe1023

    Joe1023 Fapstronaut

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    My Journal
    The best thing you can do to stop this addiction is to get as much personal accountability as you possibly can. There are guys on this forum that are willing to help out. The website SA.org has meetings in your local area to go to, start your stepwork, get an AP or two, and best of all, get a sponsor that you can call daily and check in with. A lot of people start out here and are kind of looking for a way to have the desire taken away from them. And if that's the case, I'm afraid you're in for a huge disappointment, because unfortunately, it just doesn't work that way. You have to do a LOT of hard work to fight this thing. Otherwise, its like sitting in a sinking ship, hoping that things turn out okay. If you don't work hard against the addiction, it will defeat you, plain and simple. I got addicted to porn 35 years ago and I've been fighting it for about 3 years now. The addiction its still as strong as it ever was, but I'm getting better at fighting it because of my recovery stepwork, and the accountability I have with my AP's and with my sponsor.
     
    Joe1023, Jul 13, 2020
    Joe1023, Jul 13, 2020
    #2
  3. Jul 20, 2020 #3
    pump20

    pump20 Fapstronaut

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    Feeling horny is important because it makes us feel stronger. Expect to feel some painful erections and blue balls because that's part of journey of nofap and semen retention, so ain't no comfort bud. Get used to be uncomfortable. NO PAIN=NO GAIN. Got it bud?
     
    pump20, Jul 20, 2020
    pump20, Jul 20, 2020
    #3
  4. Jul 22, 2020 #4
    Gladius995

    Gladius995 Fapstronaut

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    Think about it like this. All that money you’ve been spending on those cam girls? They just see you as a dollar sign and you constantly paying will keep them doing what they’re doing. At the end of the day it’s their job to keep you emptying your bank account to them. Weigh up the pros and cons of what you’re doing on a piece of paper and see which one ranks higher and then you’ll realise that this isn’t the way. You can have a healthy life but all you have to do it open your eyes to the problems in front of you.
     
    Gladius995, Jul 22, 2020
    Gladius995, Jul 22, 2020
    #4

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