Could you forgive cheating?

I agree with you.

 

if you think or feel that if your husband has sex with another woman, it is equal or worse than your husband masturbating to pixels on a mobile then i am sorry for my language but u are delusional and i will never agree to that

there is no intimacy with porn, there is no connection to those pixels, with a real human person there is physical intimacy between two persons, one not being in the actual relationship

the part about neglect and lying is irrelevant because it is the same for cheaters obviously

have u cheated before?

 

not everything is forgivable in my opinion

 

again, if u think it is even similar that if your wife had sex with another dude rather than your wife is caught masturbating to porn then u are delusional

have u cheated before? whats up with people defending cheating on here, crazy world

 

No I’ve never cheated on anyone. I’ve had sex with only my husband. I don’t think anyone is defending cheating. I think we have a higher standard of fidelity. Porn use is/has cheated me out of honesty, intimacy, sexual attention, empathy, thoughtfulness. Porn addicts are at their core completely selfish. They don’t see it until they get clean, but so few ever get clean. The difference in my husband when he is using porn compared to clean is night and day. In the beginning, no I didn’t think his porn use was cheating. Now, yes it’s cheating. You don’t have to agree, but realize the majority of betrayed partners both make and female, feel this way.

 

everyone has their perception... for suppose if you are in relationship and you watch porn while masturbating so there is obvious chance that you will masturbate imagining the person you see in porn...
when you assume that porn- actor/actress in your thought as your sex partner so yes you are cheating even not physically but atleast in your thought and cheating is cheating... cheating is always optional... no one can justify cheating...
so for many people watching porn is just normal thing because porn has become a important part in our daily life... while still many people are conservative so instead of judging someone we should respect everyone choice and for sure no one would like that their partner masturbate while imagining some other random guy/girl in the porn video...

 

Probably

 

higher fidelity or more jealousy? do you consider masturbation decreasing fidelty as well? or only when porn is involved? by your logic if he is doing masturbation he decreased his fidelty by getting solo orgasms which is "selfish" and means less time is spent with you, the wife

 

Listen here, the moment you got cheated by someone is the moment you toss that person to the side. Permanently.

Don’t give them another chance because it’s in their DNA to cheat and you can’t change them, they themselves must change their self. Getting cheated on is the most disrespectful thing a person can experience and letting them in again in your life will get you being used again.

Just my opinion though.

 

Wow, you’re one of the few men that gets it. Most jump to “ she’s jealous”, “ she’s unreasonable because all men do it”. Most porn addicts do not understand the repercussions of what they do.

 

I’m one of the least jealous people around. However, my husband vowed to “ forsake all others” . Not just the inconvenient others, not the unattainable others, all others. I would not have a problem with porn or masturbation if they did not change my husband. If it did not lead to utter selfishness which destroys a marriage. If it did not lead to a husband who denied me in bed because he just jacked off ( of course this wasn’t the excuse he used, he was tired, lol). I’ve been with my husband 33 years. Married 28. There’s a huge difference in a man who isn’t masturbating and one who focuses that sexual energy on his wife. Not just the amount, but also the way he makes love. Besides, if your spouse asks you not to do something, say she is jealous, why wouldn’t you stop? You married her. I asked my husband to stop drinking alcohol about 2 years ago. He quit cold turkey and hasn’t had a drop since. I didn’t think he had a problem with it, but it made me uneasy. We still go to breweries with our friends, but we don’t drink. Are you married?

 

The only thing I disagree with here is “ this is where MO careers start”. Do some, yes. Porn addicts? No most had the problem long before they met their spouse. MOs SO’s will tell you this was something their partner did long before they ever met.. Again, not all, but most.

 

so if your husband says don't wear that provocative dress it makes me jealous, will you agree? or do you want people to agree when its suitable for you only?

lets say he is tired without having done PMO, and you ask for intimacy and he rejects, are u saying that would be unjustified too? or is it that u are jealous that he did PMO so at the time he wasnt in the mood anymore for intimacy at that time. seems more like it.

and i have a question.

if u had to choose from 2 scenarios:
1. ur husband cheated with another woman but it was a one night stand and was pure out of lust, not for any connection

2. ur husband did PMO but feels a connection with the pixel pornstar

which is more wrong? my response will come after u answer

 

as if you can't masturbate to thoughts/scenarios/pictures of your wife

 

Trust its like a glass once its breaks you cant piece it together

 

Fuck that shit.

 

I would choose a husband who was healthy and free from addiction. One who could form an intimate relationship. If I had to choose.... the one night stand hands down. One mistake, one discretion. Not years of mind fuc*ing thousands of other women. Not years of lies, selfishness, and rejection and neglect. I know you can’t understand this. Until you have been married to a porn addict, rejected sexually over and over because your wife was masturbating to other men, you will never understand. In the same way I cannot fathom how so many on here can’t go a month without masturbating and looking at porn. If my husband was tired and said no, there wouldn’t be a problem. We aren’t talking about normal here though. Many men reject their wives in favor of porn. Over and over again. Also, I don’t wear provocative dresses, but if my husband asked me to wear something or not wear something, then yeah, I’d do it. Why wouldn’t I?? Early in our marriage my husband was jealous of a guy I’d been friends with my whole life. I knew he was insecure, as this friend is very attractive, had a thing for me in the past, and had made it clear he would still be interested if I wanted. I gave up that friendship. My marriage meant more than the friendship. So, no, I wouldn’t ask my husband to do something I wouldn’t do. Again, are you married?

 

i didnt say it is okay to do PMO after rejecting your request of intimacy, i would never do that to my wife. But if he were to do PMO while being horny when u arent around to please each others, and he decided to resort to PMO, and after he is done you come and say i also want intimacy now, but now he is tired as he already did PMO. Then how was he supposed to know? He is not a mind reader and doesnt know the future

and secondly i wouldn't do PMO if i have a wife, just like i didnt do it when i was with my ex, i am just saying that if my wife did PMO i would be able to forgive it, but with cheating in real life i would never forgive.

you are the minority here, i am 100% sure most people rather caught their spouse doing PMO than having sex with someone else.

and you keep saying PMO'er that lies for years yadda yadda meanwhile i am saying "one time". Yet about cheaters u act like its a one time thing, meanwhile cheaters hide secret relationship with others, hide secret texts, hide secret media of others (only similarity with PMO'ers, only a fraction of what a cheater does) etc etc.

it doesnt matter if i am married, divorced, or single

 

No, you said a one night stand. A serial cheater is absolutely as bad as a porn addict. Betrayal is betrayal. Both damage the relationship and destroy trust. If only you could read the betrayed partner section. He’s not a mind reader? Funny, many afternoons I was horny as hell, but thought, I’ll wait until my husband gets home, only to have him say no. My husband didn’t have to be a mind reader, I was down for sex every damn day. Now that he’s been clean, with only a couple slips, he initiates sex 4-5 times a week! Before that? Once every two weeks if I was lucky. @Lilla_My would you agree with me or no? Honestly, it doesn’t matter that you don’t think it’s cheating, if the person you are with feels it’s cheating and you have to hide it, then it’s cheating.

 

The fact that you exist gives me hope. I know it probably sounds crazy from a woman's perspective, but after certain struggles, I have often wondered if there are any respectful women out there, who respect themselves and their husband.

Most married women I have ever met who are married are disrespectful in some way to their husbands, putting them down when they're with friends, that kind of thing. Often vice versa also (husbands being disrespectful of their wives). It's so insane. Why would anyone disrespect the person that they love most?