Relapsed after 14 days - any words of encouragement would be much appreciated

its okay... instead of moving forward you should focus what went wrong and where it went wrong... as far as i can conclude from your post that you primarily start with edging end up to hooking website and then concluded relapsing... well first thing even though you don't masturbate still edging is considered as relapse and even if not relapse it is more harmful than masturbation... people usually think since they don't ejaculate this is not relapse... but they are wrong this edging is doing more harm than any gain to your body...
next thing hooker website... when you are into nofap you know all this things can impact your nofap journey negatively... i know this is all about urges but still learn to control... self-control is the only way to win over this...
you can use website blocker if browsing on laptop/pc and in case of mobile you can switch off phone and go for walk or listen any podcast or listen songs or anything...
failure happens and we all do fail but also at the same time learn from failure... dont repeat the same...

 

Hey there man, I want to tell u something about me, last time when I relapsed, It was on day 12 and I got absolutely depressed, but didn't let that affect me, I then regrouped myself and did another streak (btw 12 days was a huge achievement for me as the 2nd highest one back then was 5 days) so I entered the mentality of "this is it, I'm quitting no matter what the fuck happens" and ever since 29th of February, I haven't pmod

 

why are you giving up so easily? you need to work on your mindset. telling yourself that its ok to do it this one time, or that theres no point in nofap is you not adapting to growth/change. you create your destiny, you are the leader of your fate. two weeks is the start of the journey, but don't give up there. but if you start again today and make it another two weeks you only relapsed once in a month. thats also a huge accomplishment and about 99% the same as making it 30 days straight. dont give up on this battle. you are 28 now it is time to make mature decisions with your life.

 

Hi Maximus,

considering that most men relapse within the first 10 days of their reboot, you've had a good start ! Nevertheless, you do the right thing asking for advice. Several weeks ago I've been in the same situation as you are now.
What I learned from this experience (relapsing after visiting hooker websites) is that not only porn is the problem, but every type of out-of-control sexual behaviour. If you do hard mode, this might include fantasizing, following hot girls on Instagram, Twitter, etc. and masturbating. You need a break from ALL sexual stimuli for the first 90 days !
Edging (even without orgasm) is particularly detrimental for your reboot because it provides high doses of dopamine for a long time !
I recommend to make a list of what triggers you as a first step. Then you can think about an exit strategy for moments of strong urges. You need to be prepared for the next wave to come !

All the best for you !

 

Hi. I don't know how edging harms your body physically. Is it just the dopamine release that happens when you watch porn or do PMO? Or are you referring to testosterone? Is watching or skimming soft-core porn or even half nude porn affect your dopamine?

 

edging harms your body as dopamine is released during it... basically it is fapping its just you don't ejaculate by your will... your brain respond to porn then only you get erection and when your brain respond at that dopamine is released so edging is almost fapping without ejaculation... you can't say that just because you edge you didn't relapse... nope
the moment you edge you relapsed and brain function in the same way for edging as it does for fapping it just at the climax you skip ejaculation

 

Interesting. I'll research more into this and based on what I learn I may have to readjust my goals.

 

Thank You for your reply. How would you define edging in your terms?

 

Hi Maximus,
you relapsed the very moment you started edging! Once you did so masturbating became inevitable. You write that you are not as sad as you are normally after a relapse. This worries me somewhat.
I'm not saying you such be too hard on yourself. But a reduction in regret may lead to indifference. Which believe me is the WORST attitude one can have to PMO addiction. I write from bitter experience.
My first bit of advice is to feel healthy shame for your relapse. Secondly, and more importantly, stop edging! Do whatever it takes to restore your abstinence. If you have to cut off your internet access to do so then cut it off. Also avoid any triggers whatever they may be. I can't be specific about this. But you can be.
You might be able, to stay connected to NoFap, via a library or internet cafe. Maximus you can return to abstinence. You can seek guidance and support from your fellow Fapstronauts. But, in the final analysis it is all up to you. Only you can stop yourself from edging and relapsing.
You have no business chatting to ladies of the night. They have nothing to gain from your recovery. On the contrary, your engaging in illicit sexual acts, is to their financial gain. Plead remember this.

Take care comrade and good luck!

 

as i said for me there is no difference between edging and masturbation it is just that masturbation is the last stage of edging which involve ejaculation else as you imagine in edging similarly you did in fapping... you touch yourself in both in similar way and dopamine is released in both and both are considered to be relapsed...

 

I was 12(now 22) when I started watching porn(novel or not) and consequently doing masturbation. I have felt difficult it over to distinguish them. I have stopped watching and masturbating porn or stimulate sex like over a month ago when I joined this website therefore I am relatively new on this website. Since then I haven't orgasmed(or touched my scrotum) or masturbated.

But I am confused about how I binge watch softcore porn(it was nudes) to it and social websites where I usually discuss are too normalized because it is not porn or anything related to porn as first-served. I guess I may have relapsed over the last week watching them and I am trying to understand how should I cope with it. I know it's wrong but I don't how will I react if I start again.

 

hey buddy... you need to first clear with your goals... what exactly you wanna do then set the path... i was always clear and most of the people on this community are with the same goal of nofap in hard-mode that is not even single view of any porn content... it won't be much beneficial if you are hook-up with soft-porn content...
even watching complete nude is prohibited in nofap... if you want to reboot your brain you need to give up everything that have screwed you up till now...
but before clear your mind what exactly you wanna do and what exactly you wanna achieve... that will much beneficial

 

Thanks, Man.... I guess I should have clarified my goals. Honestly, I have written my triggers over a month ago that have sexual or porn content when I started NoFap but I will admit I wasn't thorough about this, at least about things(usually movies or comics) that have half-nude content because it's almost everywhere. I haven't orgasmed or masturbated or ejaculated over these but still.

But these things have caused me to Fapping before I joined this website, therefore, I might go for hard-mode if possible.

 

It's a hotspot 14 days. Don't edge. Just don't.

 

Clarification of goals and what discipline you are imposing on yourself is the key to success. Many posts I read here are people asking if they should reset their counter or whether they had a relapse of some sort. Clearly defined goals and objectives should be number 1. Let there be no ambiguity about whether you did the right thing or not. Once you know the constraints you are working with, you'll be able to move freely within those constraints. And when you act outside of those constraints, be honest with yourself and call it a loss. Losing isn't the end of the world.