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Hello guys....listen to my story

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by Tony Chain, Jul 14, 2020.

  1. Tony Chain

    Tony Chain Fapstronaut

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    Hello everyone,
    (my first post)
    General introduction: 22 yr old male, started M-ing at the of 13-14 and started watching P from the age of 17.
    Earlier I used to think that there is nothing wrong with it although deep inside I was sensing a warning. I didn't knew then where was I heading towards, a very dark place. The problems slowly started to show up after slowly I got addicted to P, also it was a transition period in internet speed and availability. Although I was not having a smartphone with high speed internet but I used to have a laptop. And one day I borrowed my seniors laptop for some work who used to live near my residence and guess what, his laptop was full of P. This was the starting of my addiction, I transfered some P videos from his laptop to mine. Whenever I got bored I used to borrow his laptop and bring some more new videos. Then slowly I got addicted. That time I was in my Higher Secondary and those were the two most important years for my career. P and M destroyed my those two years. My grades were low. There were many bad incidents that happened during this two years that I can never forget. My relationship with my parents, relatives were worse, was having no friends, used get bullied, and was scolded by teachers. Those were dark days. By the end of two years I was a full blown P addict and couldn't live without it. Then I got admitted to the university which is near my home. It was then when I came to know about nofap although I was trying it from before with no success.
    Presently I am supposed to be in my last year of 4 year degree course in Uni but exam has not been taken because of corona. Last 3 years in degree was a roller costar type ( mostly bad)...bad in the sense I was less confident, very bad family issues, no self esteem etc. Now I could go on longer streaks than before but couldn't go more than 30 days average, but whenever I used to go long I saw positive changes. Highest streak was 154 days. My life turned 180, let my not explain all as you guys know all the benefits. Currently I am in my 2nd best streak and it is the second time I crossed 90 days hardmode. But this time I am feeling no benefits (may be these are coming and i am not understanding) may be this is because of quarantine. P and M has taken away every thing I deserve and I want to get them back. Today may be it is day 95.

    Another thing that very few people discuss is that, i don't know if this happens with all but whenever I relapse badly like more than 2 times in a row, I make myself vulnerable to many dangerous situations. Another thing is whenever i relapse I have nightmare, all the worst happenings in my life happened just after I relapsed badly and all the memorable incidents happened after I made long hardmode streaks, so there is a deep spiritual thing associated with it.
    This time I am not going back. Hoping for the best for all in this community.
     
    Breakthrough23 likes this.
  2. One Eyed Owl

    One Eyed Owl Distinguished Fapstronaut

    Welcome to NoFap!!!
     
    Tony Chain likes this.
  3. B787-8

    B787-8 Fapstronaut

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    Hey friend lets take nofap challenge for 30 days. In this 30days do yoga, workouts, enjoy time with family, focus on your goal take that first step and one day absolutely you complete 30days and then go for 90days and more.
     
  4. Tony Chain

    Tony Chain Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for your suggestion, I starting this lifestyle from today....
     

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