Trying to gain back my SOs trust

Day 825.

Feelings: excited, optimistic and pensive.

Today I've had another training webinar, which was really good, and may lead to changes/improvements in practice.

The other day our boiler stopped working properly. We noticed a problem a while back, but it seemed to settle down, but it then stopped making hot water, so meant washing was a bit more difficult. We decided to get a gas man to have a look, and he said "it could have lead to a house fire...". Basically, it got blocked, started leaking and short circuited the motor. On the outside of the motor there was an obvious scorch mark where the short circuit happened. Unfortunately all of this has meant that we now need to spend a fortune to get the boiler replaced. Stressful, but we are managing, and at least it wasn't worse.

Today is Tans last day at work. She is 28 weeks pregnant as of next week, meaning that, according to government advice, she has to work from home until the she finishes on maternity leave. Pretty cool, but will be challenging to get sorted to actually work.

 

Day 828.

This weekend has been really good. It was fathers day here in the UK yesterday, and it was nice to spend some time with the family. We went for the first Sunday lunch for ages at Tans parents, and went for a quick trip to my Dad's, before coming home and making the most amazing leek and potato soup (which I have just had for my lunch). I had a bit to drink yesterday as well, but I am a huge lightweight now, so I ended up pretty tired early on.

This morning though, I had a shower and started to do a work out, but ended up sacking it off to have spontaneous sex with Tan before getting ready for work. I think that has lead to being even more tired than usual now, but I've recharged with soup, and hopefully I'll be raring to go (though when I get back to the lab I'll probably just want a nap...)

 

Day 829.

Last night was pretty chilled out, we heated up some pizza and watched some TV, I need to spend a bit of time on the evenings doing my portfolio though I think, though I think that we might be busy the next couple of nights getting ready for our eldests birthday.

Today has been busy this morning, and I've had some annoying computer trouble at work but will hopefully be sorted when I get back.

I have discovered an awesome playlist that has sent me back to my teenage years on my lunch break today; AC/DC, System of a Down, Limp Bizkit, Papa Roach, Slipknot... I'm not sure how many people will be able to relate to these bands but it's put a smile on my face. Feeling energised for this afternoon.

 

Day 833.

Thursday was our eldests 5th birthday, and it went really well. We had some select family over and had some food and drinks, the kids loved it, and was generally an awesome day.

Yesterday we took the kids for a drive to a very exotic carpark...
It was a great place for our eldest to learn to ride a bike, not that she took much teaching, she rode on her own practically straight away with no assistance. We were very impressed. She then rode her bike about a mile home without stopping. Incredibly proud, can't stop her riding now.

Today is our 6th wedding anniversary, not that we are able to do much in celebration. We might have taken a drive somewhere but the weather is pretty rubbish today, so we are just staying in. We have found that our favourite Tapas bar/restaurant is serving takeaway, so we will be picking up an awesome selection of tapas later, and chill out with a movie of some description, I expect it'll be a pretty good night.

 

Day 835.

Yesterday went okay. It was the second anniversary of my Mams death, which we did spend visiting family. Its usually a bit of a crappy day, emotion wise, and it was at times, but not as bad as last year. The day did go okay though.

This weekend has been really good though, but time off work always goes way too fast. Despite the time off, I think both Tan and I feel more tired than before the break.

 

Day 836.

Feeling: Tired and frustrated (at myself and at work)

Today is going pretty well generally, though one thing annoyed/frustrated me at work, which kind of made me feel a little underappreciated. I have put a lot of effort into changing the way things are done at work to ensure the health and safety of staff and to keep the service running during this pandemic. Despite that and all of the staff training that I have been doing, senior staff have suggested that another member of staff should receive an "excellence award" for their work in there. I realise that it sounds petty and childish when I type this out, but that'd how its made me feel.

I am also frustrated with myself for not doing much/any recovery work while I was off, including no exercise, other than a couple of posts on here. I don't want things to silently slip back to how things were before, so having noted this, I'm going to crack back on with exercise again. I know it was only five days, and that a couple were pretty busy, but it's important for me to maintain consistency.

 

Day 837.

Feeling: Optimistic, sleepy and frustrated.

Last night was frustrating. Our youngest (2 nearly 3) has been having more and more tantrums where she shouts and screams for you to leave her alone for no obvious reason, and she lashes out if you don't comply. Last night was worse than usual, and it all started when we tried to get her out of the bath and ready for bed, but got worse when we tried to get the kids to bed. Tan was stuck with her upstairs for a long time trying to calm her down.

She was in a similar state of mind this morning and led to a bit of an argument between me and Tan, as she seems to react worse to me, and when I try to help, I seem to make things worse. This has left me frustrated and sleepy today.

I am however optimistic about work, and Tan only has 10 work days left before she starts holiday and maternity leave, which is cause for a smile.

 

Day 837.

Feeling: Confident, optimistic and cheerful.

Today feels pretty good (if you couldn't guess from my feelings above). Last night was much better with the kids, and as a result, much better with Tan,and has led to a much more positive frame of mind today, though I am still a touch tired, but that hasn't brought down my spirit.

Work has been busy this morning, but I'm taking it in my stride, which is also helped by my good mood. The weekend is also fast approaching, though tomorrow marks only a week until I turn 30. I'm not sure if that's something I'm looking forward to or not...

I'm not truthfully worried about the big 30, but I reckon I'll be in for a bit of stick at work none the less!

 

Day 839.

Feeling: Proud, optimistic and cheerful.

Work has been busy this morning because a power cut in the hospital meant we weren't able to do certain things yesterday on generator power. That means that I spent this morning doing work that I had intended getting finished yesterday. But I have managed, and I'm proud of the quality of work that I've produced.

I've got a meeting this afternoon and I'm interviewing all day on Monday so I'm optimistic of that and its the weekend, so automatically I'm cheerful!

Last night went okay, the kids didn't play up too much, and we managed to get them to bed without to much trauma.

I'm looking forward to home time today, for the weekend. Pubs and restaurants are opening back up this weekend, but I think we will just stay in, the lockdown has made us even more antisocial!

 

Day 843.

Feeling: Intrigued, critical and generally cheerful.

Yesterday was an interesting day at work. I spent the whole day interviewing people for a couple of vacancies, but now I have found myself being critical of our decisions, not wholly sure if we have made the correct decision. I guess though we won't find that out until the new staff start and we find out how well they work, and how well they fit into the team.

Today at work though, I am feeling Intrigued as just before lunch, we were told there is going to be a team brief with "good news". I am not sure what that means exactly, but I have an incling. There has been a proposed "collaboration" (merger...) of laboratories in the region, which has proven an unpopular idea with staff (partly due to where it is meant to be moving to, partly because it generally doesn't seem well thought out) and I think that the news may be that it's been cancelled.

The collaboration has posed problems for Tan and I as it would mean working with my former lab colleagues again. One of which I was close to cheating with. Nothing did actually happen, but it was close enough for me to admit to Tan, and obviously it caused tension to think that we may be working together again in the not so distant future. But I believe it may be further off now after today.

So generally today I'm quite cheerful,even though its my 30th on Friday, and I get the feeling that there has been something pretty embarrassing organised...

 

Day 845.

Feeling: Frustrated, confident and optimistic.

This week has been really busy at work, but this morning estates had to do some work in my lab which set me back by about two hours, so I've been frustrated by that, and ended up being late going for my lunch. Yesterday was busier than today, but I had training at 1pm,but ended up late for my lunch again, leaving me with less time to eat. But I feel confident as well, as I have managed to keep on top of the work in spite of the busyness and the set backs.

I'm also optimistic and excited for the weekend and my 30th tomorrow. We will be having a takeaway tomorrow night with some family. Obviously not as big a celebration as I was hoping for, but I'm looking forward to it nonetheless. I'm also looking forward to having a chilled out couple of days with Tan and the kids (fingers crossed!)

 

Day 849.

Feeling: Frustrated, irritated and sleepy.

I'm feeling pretty frustrated as I'm currently wasting my lunch break waiting on the phone to speak to our former phone and Internet provider over an unusual payment they took from us. I know its their busiest time, but do they put more staff on to cover these times or not? Genuinely curious.

I'm also a little bit irritated, as I was excluded from two meetings today that I should have been invited to as they discussed things that I should have been involved in. Not to worry though, it's only about health and safety...

I'm also sleepy today, no real reason I don't think, just tired.

The weekend went well though, as did my birthday on Friday. Some embarrassing photos stuck up of me around the lab for other departments to "admire" along with a gift of chocolate and a bottle of whisky from my colleagues, as well as being hauled to the front of the lab to make an obligatory speech (that went terribly...)

We made a good job of drinking the whisky on Friday night after a Chinese takeaway (my dad, father in law and I). We went out for a meal (Tan the kids and I) for the fismrst time in months, which was really nice to enjoy it as a family.

We also had a nice Sunday lunch at Tans parents yesterday. So all in all, a nice chilled out weekend with family, just as I'd hoped for

 

Day 850.

Feeling: Tired, frustrated and daring.

I'm tired because we stayed up later than intended and ate pizza which always seems to mean that I won't get a good night sleep (but I like pizza...) but it doesn't combine well with a busy workload.

I'm frustrated because I'm busy at work, but struggling to do work in my own workplace because of other departments using it... Combining badly again with the tiredness.

I'm feeling daring as well, as we have been looking (possibly foolishly, possibly wisely) at new cars. Not sure if we should just do it impulsively, or wait. When we feel like this though, it's difficult to not just go with the impulse. I know its a similar thing to a lot of things in life, but it's more exciting to sometimes impulse buy something. I'm trying to do research into it and go with the numbers, but my heart is taking me in a different direction...

 

Day 851.

Feeling: Confused, excited and gerally cheerful.

The confusion and excitement is from looking at cars. I know, I talked about it yesterday but I think I've got it stuck into my head now, and Tan seems supportive of it. There are a few options, but I'm terrible at decision making hence the confusion...

Not sure where the cheerfulness has come from, but I don't feel too bad today. Hopefully I'll get this car buying madness over with and get on with life...

 

Thanks! That really means a lot, and nice to know that people read some of the stuff I post!

 

Day 852.

Feeling: Sleepy (a recurring theme here...), disappointed and optimistic.

No real reason for the sleepyness, but the disappointment comes from an argument that Tan and I had last night relating to cars, but it kind of drew to the conclusion that I should wait a little while before looking for a new car. I think my problem is that sometimes I get too wrapped up in things and stop looking at things properly with my head. Realistically, I don't need to get a new car yet, and just changing car for the sake of it doesn't really make sense, unless it's for a car that ticks the right boxes for the right price.

But I'm still optimistic as there are plenty of things to look forward to coming up, including a "4D" scan on Saturday and a weekend away to the lake district in a campervan next weekend!

 

Thanks nonetheless, the encouragement is most appreciated!

 

Day 853.

Feeling: Optimistic, cheerful and (believe it or not...) sleepy!

Today is going well at work, but I've gotta say, I'm looking forward to going home and having the weekend off. Though we have plenty of things to do, but most of them things should be good, including a "4D" scan I mentioned yesterday. We had originally intended the scan so that Tans' Mam could go as well, but unfortunately they only allow one guest to attend with the mother.

I have to admit though, despite yesterday's post about cars, Tan and I have still been looking, but in an EV direction. I know its not the best place to ask a question like this, but has anyone heard any reviews of a Nissan Leaf?!