Learning to Love Myself as an INFP

I'm not sure where else to post this but I feel like this is such a big breakthrough for me that I had to gush about it somewhere! I have been struggling with self-doubt and negative self-image for a long time. Different failures and aberrations in my life compared to what I thought was "normal" over the years led me to a point where I felt like I was a stranger that would never fit anywhere and lost my sense of identity. I could think of things that described me but when asking myself "Who am I? What does that mean?", I was utterly at a loss.

Then, I decided to take a Myers-Briggs test and it all changed.

My result was INFP and the basic description intrigued me so I decided to do some deeper research. I. Was. Stunned. There were mountains of articles and forums and books that described me so well, both my strengths and my flaws, that it was as if the people that wrote them had been stalking me my whole life. While I understand the danger of trying to squeeze myself into a four-letter box, the fact that other people exist that think, feel, and act like me was one of the most comforting feelings I have ever experienced. There were so many aspects of my character and personality that I had thought were flaws or even mental instabilities and now I know that isn't true! I'm still not what many people would consider "normal" but I'm not the only one of my kind (to an extent, there's obviously only one me). Realizing that about myself and reading advice and tips from other people that have experienced the same struggles as me has opened up what feels like a universe of opportunity to learn about myself and grow as a person.

It's not so much a feeling of letting my results define me as it is being relieved and thankful that other people have been able to put into writing so many things that I have fought with for nearly my entire life but could never find the right words to explain them to my friends and family. I wish I could carry around a book filled with all the things I've learned about myself and my personality so, in the future, I could just pull it out and point to what I want someone to understand about me.

I still have a long way to go before I get in the habit of genuinely loving myself but this feels like an amazing first step. Like for the first time in my life, I have both a voice and something to say. I don't have to feel like I'm unworthy or that anything is "wrong" with me because now I know that I'm an identifiable kind of different and that's okay! Now I can more clearly see where I can work to improve myself and, by extension, become the type of guy that doesn't need PMO anymore.

 

Well sorry it didn’t work the same way for you but, for me, I can clearly see where I’ve been the same way for a long time. Maybe in a few years after I’ve taken some time to improve myself, I’ll change enough to get a different result but, at the moment, those are the cards I’ve been dealt and I’m okay with that.