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P.A.W.S. - what are they, cure, duration

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Fenix Rising, May 12, 2019.

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  1. TheRetainer

    TheRetainer Fapstronaut

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    I masturbate using heavy fantasy. Going through Different scenes In my head until one fits.

    IMO I can’t see much difference between m to porn and m to fantasy. If anything fantasy is more real, my imagination is stronger then the screen and most of the time I was reliving past experiences.

    I have watched internet porn maybe 20 time’s in 20 years. But 99.9% of my masturbation had been with my eyes closed fantasising.

    In my opinion fantasy is the exact same thing. But I’m not gonna argue with the premise of the whole community.

    As Dave says we are figuring it all out and every experience is valuable.

    most people here watched porn got horny and mo. I’ve never really had a libido. I’ve just wanted to O as the pleasure was so great. I’d get there as quick as possible most of the time completely flaccid. Completely forced just to get them few seconds of ecstasy. I never edged or anything like that. Just wanted o fast and as often as possible.
     
    Last edited: Jul 10, 2020
    ArduousPath, clapas and Dave G 123 like this.
  2. humbleone

    humbleone Fapstronaut

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    4 days since relapse, and no chaser or anything, but feel exactly the same as before relapse. Brain aches, slight anxiety and tension constantly. It's like being in limbo and nothing is changing it
     
  3. Antisocial_TBE

    Antisocial_TBE Fapstronaut

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    Wow... I just relapsed and my whole body started trembling uncontrollably during ejaculation. Never again
     
  4. AspiringVitality

    AspiringVitality Fapstronaut

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    Have u been edging?
     
  5. humbleone

    humbleone Fapstronaut

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    After my last relapse (7 days) I am now back in some weird flat line, it's not as heavy or hard as flat lines in the beginning but still noticeably feel slightly depressed, irritable, 0 libido, 0 erections, brain aching, and increase stress/tension/anxiety

    Just want to say that during my last relapse which was with a real girl, and then just MO to sensation or fantasy was detrimental for sure and could set me back a month to who knows, but still I believe nothing compares to edging to porn.

    During my last relapse I put porn on to see what it was like, and it literally hurt my brain where it aches, same whenever I get naked pics from girls, I cant view fully naked ones as it causes too much discomfort/aching. This is anecdotel, but my experience, I can feel my brain ache different to different stimulus
     
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  6. TheRetainer

    TheRetainer Fapstronaut

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    Today marks 100 days of Hardmode for me.

    Today has been different. I’ve had more energy and motivation I did some grooming and gardening. I feel a little optimistic.

    still have a constant general anxiety and I’ve been shaking not just in my hands but my body also. But a positive change after a week of complete misery.

    it’s like I get served up a different set of neurotransmitters everyday and it’s adjusting itself through the day. Sometimes I get energy, sometimes anxiety, depression, motivation, it all varies wildly.
     
  7. Antisocial_TBE

    Antisocial_TBE Fapstronaut

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    I don't think so. Maybe I edged like once by accident.
     
  8. AspiringVitality

    AspiringVitality Fapstronaut

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    Ok, I meant more like: how long was your session?
     
  9. Antisocial_TBE

    Antisocial_TBE Fapstronaut

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    It was real short. My dick was so sensitive that I cummed in a matter of seconds.
     
    AspiringVitality likes this.
  10. I wish I could exercise more heavily, a 30 minute walk is often times too much for me after a relapse. Usually it takes me about three weeks to get into a state that I have the energy and brain capacity to read more than two pages of a book or walk for more than 20 minutes. My brain is just totally exhausted from everything, even by writing this post and reading one page of this thread feels like a marathon. It's like some sort of super exhaustion and I have a proper diet and regular sleep and all. That's why I've pretty much avoided this forum for the last few months as it took too much of my mental strength to read through the posts so that I could just get through the day somewhat. And it's all related to PMO, I think o itself is more detrimental. I can pinpoint almost exactly when I start to feel better depending on the amount of PMO or just O and how often I've done it in the past month or so.

    EDIT: I should add that any sort of sexual stimulus adds to the exhaustion and dizziness effect, be it a half-naked woman on TV or sexual thoughts. My erections are also directly related to it, they come back after the exhaustion and super brainfog wears off.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 13, 2020
  11. Dave G 123

    Dave G 123 Fapstronaut

    You seem to be experiencing exactly what I am, except I can only sleep with the aid of medication. It is a living nightmare.
     
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  12. I'd like to learn new things, study more and generally just do more stuff in life but I'm just too exhausted and dizzy to do so. Even my lifelong passion for videogames is mostly gone as I don't have the mental capacity to play them. What is even more sad that after all this my brain still wants to get its dopamine fix as soon as I get even slightly better and the cycle repeats. You'd think that after all this I'd have learned my lesson but I guess the low IQ syndrome further fuels the relapse progress.
     
  13. What's going on man???
    Happened to me as well where I pmoed heavily twice. Last one was 3 days ago. And have my progress delayed....
     
  14. Not much, the relapse cycles are almost copies of each other. I get just a tad bit better nearing the three week mark and usually relapse around that time. Then with the last bit of energy I PMO or MO quickly again a day or two later after the first relapse since the dopamine is still running in my system. It takes three days for the dopamine to "cool off" in my head if I manage to resist the second relapse. After that it's trying to recover from the exhaustion and dizziness but only time will help. I'm not going to use a counter anymore since I already know when I've relapsed and knowing roughly where I'm at is better than counting the days.

    I'm sad to hear about your relapse but you know where that stuff will lead you. It only takes one peek for you to relapse. The moment you peek, you've already lost the battle since you've given your body a permission to look at P or P-subs. You don't want to go back to your old self, leave it behind. Once you make the decision to stay free and be the person you've always wanted to be, stick to it. It may feel like crap after a relapse, but every single day counts. Every single day is valuable as life is the most precious gift that is given to us so you should value every day, no matter how bad you feel now. Every day you should make the decision to stay free and welcome the new day with happiness that is coming from yourself, not from some materialistic or other person.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 17, 2020
  15. Ezpz

    Ezpz Fapstronaut

    Just wanted to post another update guys if any of you are interested.

    It seems that this month for me has seen some marked improvements. I have had morning wood most days this month, which is a great sign. I am sleeping a lot better and waking up a lot better. I'm feeling generally more optimistic throughout most of the day. Depression has barely been there at all this month, social anxiety has been much easier for me to manage. I'm finding my daily tasks a lot easier to manage as well, now it doesn't feel like i'm climbing a mountain to try to get things done. Honestly before i was barely motivated to get out of bed, everything i did was forced and work was a nightmare. Coffee also gives me more of a boost in the mornings too. Im finding that i dont need to have naps these days as much because im not as exhausted.

    As i said before i'm feeling pretty optimistic in general, but that might just be because I've had these improvements for a decent period of time now.

    I have also had 3 or 4 wet dreams recently and they seem to have had no impact on my improvements, nor have they sent me back into a flat line, though i think i need to give it more time to find out.

    There are still symptoms that im struggling with, though they feel now more manageable than ever. Social anxiety is still there but improving, though it increases late at night (same with fatigue). I still feel kind of wired/stressed out all the time. I still have brain fog, concentration problems and slow thinking. Ear ringing due to the stress and vision problems. Shortness of breath from time to time. Mood swings and numbed emotions, these still change a lot.

    Thats about all i can think of right now. Im at just over 11.5 months. I would like to add also that ive had minimal improvements before 11 months. Months 8 - 11 were extremely dark times for me and i thought i was never going to improve. I had lost hope during that time as i was struggling through each day, so its really nice to be having some sort of break from these symptoms.
     
  16. TheRetainer

    TheRetainer Fapstronaut

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    Day 106 Hardmode

    I deffo turned a corner on day 100. I’m unsure if u can attribute it to Nofap completely.

    I’ve lost the zombie lifeless anxious mess who couldn’t get out of bed.

    in the matter of a few dats I’m motivated exercising grooming socialising optimistic.

    still got poor erections no morning wood tinnitus no libido. But I couldn’t care tbh just feels so good to have some life in me after months of feeling disabled.

    had a girl over the other night. Got pretty hard kissing and touching her. Had a little sex but I could tell I was gonna come quickly and i don’t want to do that atm. No libido really but it was encouraging. she’s pretty cool and I told her about it all. So hopefully I can just do regular rewiring with her And see if my functions improve.
     
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  17. Di.Do.555

    Di.Do.555 Fapstronaut

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    Day 98 and i still get them.
    I feel great one day and like shit the next.
     
  18. sikreodds97

    sikreodds97 Fapstronaut

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    4 months hard mode today. Have several 4-5 month streaks without binges. Anhedonia, social anxiety, depression, looking dead in the eyes, brain fog, etc. Im litterally suicidal, if i didnt have hope that it could be PAWS and i will get better i would not be here right now. I experienced all the great benefits before PAWS hit so thats why i actually think its still just PAWS. Is there any sucess stories out here? If so please do share..
     
    AspiringVitality likes this.
  19. Inspiring stuff man. I'm following your journey closely man, I'm 2 months behind you and am using you as a scout of sorts. Glad you're seeing some light at the end of the tunnel.
     
  20. Ezpz

    Ezpz Fapstronaut

    Im happy to be helping others out. I had lost hope for a few months because symptoms were largely unchanged for the majority of my recovery. I think it was @Don Quixote who gave me a little bit of hope with his 20 month post when i was feeling pretty low.

    I am seeing some light, but the path of progression is still unclear. This whole month has been pretty decent. I have had way more ok/good days this month than bad. This has never happened to me before. Im also feeling a lot more optimistic and positive each day, though this could be because i am finally seeing improvements. I don't have to nap during the day (most days) to fight off fatigue or exhaustion. Im sleeping better and my morning wood has been a constant this whole month, especially strong this morning. I am able to get much more done with my time now as im a lot more productive, im finding everyday jobs much easier to manage. Im still getting some pretty bad days and every time i do i think im about to go back into the dreaded flatline for weeks at a time, but these are only lasting 1 or 2 or even hours and then i feel better.

    The only thing to do is to keep holding on because you never know when you will turn a corner. I will hit my 1 year mark on my birthday, so there is something to celebrate.
     

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