THE 100 DAY SPARTAN CHALLENGE (OPEN)

13/100

 

7/100 DSC. I'm feeling more in control. Not completely in control. More in control.

15/26 to beat my longest streak challenge. Maybe this could be for you too?

150/200 days porn and MO free in 2020. Thank you NoFap members, founders, supporters. I'm not clean yet, but this year I am so much better already.

 

Checking in day 90

 

Checking in day 90

 

Checking in Day Three.

 

(1)33 checking in
Tomorrow's probably the most important day of my life until now.
Last exam.
Will update.

 

Day 10

 

Day 0/100.

 

Well I slipped today gents. I feel drained physically and very discouraged. I didnt really have anyone to talk to but now I know, when im by myslef, I must mind my thoughts. I really needed to feel the effect of relapsing and how it hurts. Not too proud to reset back to 0 but I know what needs to change. Today I hit the void. I never got this far in the journey but now I know how it felt to be in the void stage of rebooting. I gave into my temptation but I will not stop. I got a little to comfortable and that was a no go. just remember, whenever a sayin loses a fight,they get a zenkai boost for the next fight and i got mine. Im not stopping and Ive identified changes that need to be done!

 

0/100.

My family is gone. I'm bored, alone, sad, anxious, and I fapped. More than one PMO. I can't stop. I'm here to hope that my mind shifts.

 

D 16

 

I'm with you. Relapsed this evening. Pick up and shake it off, right?

 

YESSIR! WE DONT STAY DOWN! THIS IS ONLY A CHANCE TO IMPROVE OURSELVES!

 

Relapse!
Day 0/100 Sun, Jul 19

 

Day 14 Sparta!!!

 

THIS IS A REAL STORY OF SOMEONE. READ IT ONCE AND THEN DECIDE .

Hey firstly i am extremely proud of everyone here and thankful too for continuing such a wonderful cause and helping out each other, this is gonna be a bit of a long post.

Currently I am on a 50 day streak and I had decided back around day 30 that I am never gonna fap again in life it's not a challenge for me anymore it's the way I want to live and it was mostly because of the introspection I was able to make. I'll share those with you honestly it's quite embarrassing for me but if it helps anyone out there like me I don't mind screaming it out aloud every day on the streets. I ll share some the changes and pros of my journey too. Also if possible please bear with English too ,it's not my first language.

So all this started when my ex girlfriend left me because i had become a toxic, emotion less non romantic pig in my life, i was broken into pieces because i was sexist too , it hurt my ego i thought how can a girl keep her priorities above mine and leave me , after all girls are mere objects whose job is just to be there for their man and when needed satisfy their sexual urges. She was the girl of my dreams, more than i could have dreamt of infact , she was hot af way out of my league,she was smart , intelligent, humble , full of life , she was the bubbliest person ever. Above all that she was completely into me she loved me to fullest of capabilities as one could, she did everything for me gave her all , she did things she never thought she would in bed and otherwise too because she loved me. All she wanted in return was emotional involvement from me , which I wasn't able to because thanks to porn we don't know the concept of emotional bonding with our opposite gender. Porn has taught us that sex is just about orgasm and that's all there is , when all you think about sex there is nothing left for you after you have ejaculated , you are done your goal of the day is complete, thats what we do in our lives we pmo and get the fuck back to work instantly thats how we have trained our mind. We watch porn whenever we feel the urge and get back to our lives whenever we are done. Thats not gonna work in real life , sex is not about the orgasm at all, it's about pleasure it's about the mood you have set pre how you entice your women by telling her few captivating stories and setting a good ambiance for her to sooth in then slowly turning her on , teasing her for a bit , the sexual act itself is not that important more like 20% if you ask me. Then once you guys are done it's about bonding with her getting to know her better being intimate with her on an emotional level , that's what sex is meant for ,to exchange each others energies and be intimate. Anyways this is my perception of sex now , it wasn't like this before and I was too dumb to even realise , I thought sex is just about getting your dick sucked first and pushing her to bed and fucking her like you own her and then cum all over her and after that you can go own and do your work , yeah I mean I used Go down on her and finish her up before starting but that's not my point. It wasn't special it was just there it was mostly lust from my end where as she loved me totally and the concept of love wasn't even there in my mind all I have been practising for was lust. See i dont expect all guys to know how to please their women and all but if you listen to her body you ll know exactly what she wants, plus she told me a lot of times that you are doing it too fast turn me on first , tease me a bit , dont go hard like this but i couldnt help because this is what all i had trained myself to ejaculate on from over the years of watching porn.

I ll get back to that later little about porn first, its all innocent and harmless during the start then after a while normal porn doesnt cut it for you , you need something extra like deep throat and after a point categories are voilent, aggresive, gangbang, forced . I mean for fucks sake forced? We are literally enjoying women being treated like trash or being raped thats what forced means. The categories keep getting worse and worse too there are things like puking , anal fisting and what not. Yes I have fapped on all of these categories and much worse probably, where the fuck will we learn the art of seducing or knowing our partner or emotional bonding if we think she is just an object that we can destroy in bed without thinking what she wants, the sad part is that if the girl objects we put the blame on her because porn teaches us that all girls are into all this and even if they arent they do it for their man. So if our girlfriend doesnt comply to all this the fault is obviously with her , poor girls they have to live upto the standards of porn because of us , so we are not just destroying our lives by watching porn.

Coming back to my ex, times got tough in between for me so i started jerking of too porn while in realitonship too , because you know real sex takes effort and work porn is easier and i could fantasize to new chicks too , we used have sex still 2-3 times a week but it had reduced a lot because of this, i started being aggresive on bed ,i wanted to pull her hair , choke her throat go deep throat on her , which might be fine if some couple is into it but its mostly because of the guys porn fantasy and the girl loves him enough to oblige, this is not how sex should be , she was anyways a very vanilla person she liked things slow and in a very romantic way because we were two people in love being intimate not just some random hook up but she anyways obliged because she loved me and society has made these things normal in bed , it's not trust me ,thats not how you are supposed to express your love. They say how you end things after sex makes the women wanna come to you more the next time, since i didn't do anything and ignored her whenever she asked me to come cuddle or talk slowly her drive reduced too. After a point when she had stopped being that much into me I resumed watching porn and fapping to it instead of sex, that not only made me loose my sexual attraction for her but also made me emotionally unavailable to Her, now I wouldn't understand her small issues or get involved with her on a deeper level, eveything was superficial for me because porn was teaching me subconsciously that women are just objects. She asked me one day too that if i masturbate i said yes i do but i couldnt dare tell her the frequency she then asked me if i fantasize about other girls and she said if i did that would be cheating ,I thought she wouldn't understand all this , all this is pretty normal in guys how the hell is this cheating, so i lied to Her to by telling her i always think about you at the end , which i did mostly but sometimes you know we feel like jerking off to other girls as well , i had jerked off to her friends too. Ofcourse i didn't understand how can this be cheating because I was emotionaly numb back then , I didn't relate to half of the things she said. She always used to tell me that i dont get her flowers or send her cute messages or do some small Loving gestures and i used to tell her stop cribbing about all these stupid things , porn anywyas never mentions these must be stupid then. More over evertime we used to have a big fight, i used to jerk my self off to numbness and suppress everthing,not resolve any of the fights or anything. Slowly we became more and more distant. She loved me a lot so she stayed this long but one day even she decided it was enough not because i was doing all this but because i was not emotionaly opening up to Her and she couldnt bear all this. I ll spare all these details but the point is i had the most beautiful things in the world , most magical Person, a lifetime opportunity which i blew up ,and i dont feel sorry for myself i just feel sorry for that poor little girl who never did anything wrong other than to love me too much. She didn't even leave me on her own , I kinda pushed her to that point because I kept masturbating to other things , i used to masturbate to the girls in porn , i used to think i ll meet girls like that who ll be my slave i ll tie them up , choke them do whatever i want with them my girlfriend is not compatible with me on bed , obviously she was a strong and independent women she wouldn't oblige to me treating her like trash in bed. After a point my fantasies became about prostitutes because those for the only girls I could do anything to , fuck them in the wildest way I want and just leave them like that after I am done, that's what I wanted in life now prostitutes not a real relationship. So I pushed her away.

After she was gone I didn't realize all this , i just blamed Everything on her , that she didn't take efforts to understand my need and all that , i blamed her every day like the toxic Person i was. I did love her too,i still do. Eventually she started seeing someone ,i couldnt bear that and i went to couple of prostitutes after that to vent out my frustration,there i realised that these women are not even into me they are just lying there in such an disinterested way where is the involvement my girlfriend had with me , where the being into me part. I was broken that day when, what i had lost ,i was going through depression too from last one year thats also a part of the problems we had in our realitonship. Then after crying and mindlessly jerking off to porn everyday i had become an addict,i was jerking off 4-5 times a day to run away from my emotions thats what i had learnt. Finally i decided enough of living like this daily just waiting to die, i decided to become the best version of myself and win my girlfriend back. I started eating right , exercising working on my career, i hadn't stopped fapping though i knew i had to bring it in control but never thought of going into NoFap. One day i came across this community and i thought i ll give it a try i was already in the zone to become a higher version of myself,i failed for about a month before i decided it's time to take it seriously. Thanks to everyone of you here i took this thing up. It changed my life , this post has already been too long , i ll write about the changes after NoFap in next post if anyone seems interested in this. If anyone has read it till here thanks a lot for your time.

I had the most beautiful thing in world and i couldnt value it or appreciate it because porn had destroyed my senses ,my emotions my perception and my view on the female gender. I mean sure you can get laid have sex with some girl ,but if one day you want to meet your love of life and have a magical bonding with her , lust won't help you, anything remotely close to porn won't help ,I had the love of my life and I lost her. I feel the pain and embrace it daily it kinda keeps me strong and reminds never to relapse in life , i have stopped compressing my feelings by jerking off to porn. More about all that later. Hope you all have a nice day and stay strong!!

 

Day 14.

 

Day 12 : )

 

Checking in Day 4

 

Checking in Day Four.