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Catholic Fapstronauts

Been awhile since my last post

For Fapstronauts of the Catholic Christian Faith

  1. Jul 14, 2020 #1
    1Peter5:8

    1Peter5:8 Fapstronaut

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    Lots of stuggling lately...really struggling with resisting temptations for a number of reasons. Have been marginally successful. It probably doesn't help that I've decided to lead a That Man Is You program in my parish and I'm feeling Satan is attacking me for that. But I do have a question for the married men out there.

    My wife knows about my PMO struggles, it came to light 1.5 years ago and I've been on a path of growth, but I have not beat it yet. But because she knows my struggles, she refuses to make out with me or be physically intimate (we do have sex but follow NFP) she's very afraid making out, will lead to me masturbating. So she withholds intimacy which actually makes it worse sometimes. Even IF i did make out and masturbate, I feel that's my sin and she can't be my guardian.

    Thoughts?????
     
    1Peter5:8, Jul 14, 2020
    1Peter5:8, Jul 14, 2020
    #1
  2. Jul 20, 2020 #2
    chastedude

    chastedude Fapstronaut

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    But you're are not going to masturbate because you want your brain and intimacy with your wife back. So work even harder.

    You know how Jesus said if the left hand causes you to sin, then cut it off? Get rid of all your sources of porn. Just do it. No apps, no website accounts, no magazines, nothing. Delete all those accounts – whatever your source of porn is, get rid of them now. Not tomorrow. Now. Get that crap out of your life, your home, your devices. If Victoria Secret catalogues come into your mail, don't look. Sexy ads come on TV, turn the channel. Make that full commitment for your wife.

    As for masturbation, make that full commitment to keep pure thoughts only. Sexy thoughts come in, knock them right out. Bring the Holy Spirit into your brain. My problem with masturbation are those stupid impure thoughts. It's tough but with consistent practice, you'll have better control. And at least you have a wife and you can have real sex. And pray. St. Joseph is fantastic for praying for being chaste.

    We're here for you and we know you can do it.
     
    chastedude, Jul 20, 2020
    chastedude, Jul 20, 2020
    #2
  3. Jul 20, 2020 #3
    1Peter5:8

    1Peter5:8 Fapstronaut

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    Thanks @chastedude. I agree. I guess my question was really more about is it ok, (or right) for her to be my keeper? We're not physical (just making out as an example) when we're not in a window of infertility because we follow NFP.

    My opinion... that's not up to her to be my guardian/protecter/masturbation cop. If we never have intimacy aside from when it's within the infertile window, it does make the struggle harder because it goes from full intimacy to no intimacy. For me, she should allow things to happen (i'm talking kissing not weird or sexual stuff) and then let me learn or give me the opportunity to control my own urges. She cannot be my keeper and my partner, just like a spouse can't be an accountability partner. She has to trust that I'll be able to handle those desires/emotions.

    But...that's just my opinion.
     
    1Peter5:8, Jul 20, 2020
    1Peter5:8, Jul 20, 2020
    #3
  4. Jul 21, 2020 #4
    chastedude

    chastedude Fapstronaut

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    I don't know. I've always understood that spouses not only look after each other, but also help them become better women/men. She can definitely be an accountability partner in addition to the people on here who are struggling with the same things. So yes, I agree with you that on one hand, it's up to you to take the action required to overcome all this stuff but on the other hand, your life partners. If your wife was an alcoholic or had a debilitating illness, you wouldn't be there for her? I doubt it :)
     
    chastedude, Jul 21, 2020
    chastedude, Jul 21, 2020
    #4
  5. Jul 22, 2020 #5
    Cathcart22

    Cathcart22 Fapstronaut

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    My only take is that this is an issue that would be best taken to a priest or marriage counselor, but that's just me!
     
    Cathcart22, Jul 22, 2020
    Cathcart22, Jul 22, 2020
    #5

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