Giving it my best shot

Alright new to the forum. A little about me: Im about to be 30. Ive pretty much been addicted to masturbation since I discovered it in the 5th grade. I discovered porn in the 8th grade and its only gotten worse since then. I know it has had negative effects on my confidence and self esteem. Ive only ever had one long term girlfriend that lasted a while but never went anywhere sexually and that was my fault. I was just too ashamed to admit to being a virgin at 24 and having little experience. Ive had many women come onto me over the years but I always reject them because I feel like I dont measure up and am scared to fail. I ended up doing some whore mongering sadly to get rid of my virginity and gain some experience hoping that would improve my confidence but I still felt the same, if not worse. Ive been going through a lot of depression lately but loneliness is a major cause.

I think giving up PMO is the best thing for me but its the hardest thing Ive ever done. I have tried 3 times before. The first time I made it 14 days before watching a movie and getting aroused. The second time I made it 10 days before giving into depression. The last attempt I made it just 8 days before work really stressed me out and I felt I needed some relief.

I just made it through day one on this attempt but Ive never been more motivated to turn my life around. If anyone has any tips or advice or even motivation I would appreciate it. I will continue to scour through other posts to see how some of you are getting through.

All that said even if I can limit the amount of PMO I have gotten used to it would be a win for me. Thanks for reading and its nice to meet you all.

 

Appreciate the advice. I am pretty much on top of limiting triggers. I deleted my instagram and anyone on my snapchat that would post explicit content or pictures. Ive been sticking to mostly comedies in my spare time. Ive never watched Parks and Rec so Ive been binging that. This time I really do feel like I will make it because before I was just trying to experience the nofap "super powers" I saw people talking about on youtube. This time around Ive actually realized Ive let my life pass me by because PMO just was more available and easier. But my life isnt over yet and I plan to enjoy the rest I have.