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Anyone felt afraid?

Discussion in 'Self Improvement' started by RogerFM, Jul 22, 2020.

  1. RogerFM

    RogerFM Fapstronaut

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    I've spent, more than half of my life in a bubble, getting fat, watching the days go by. Now I'm 33, I'm exercising, not everyday but regularly, I'm studying, I'm making moves, I have a plan and I'm following it.

    But every day I wake up anxious, so afraid to fail, afraid of my financial position, afraid of giving up, of not being strong. I write, I rationalize, but sometimes this fear is just overwhelming, I still go forward, every day I find things to make myself better. But, this feeling is relentless.

    Anyone felt like that, anyone transcended that and can tell if the fear eventually goes away?
     
  2. Wilde°

    Wilde° Fapstronaut

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    If you're thinking about the negative and the time wasted it isn't gonna help the situation.
    There's people that are deaf, blind, single armed and this list can continue all day. There's also people that are in jail for something they didn't do. Think about worst cases than you. Just get over it, you are only 33 and you are putting work and willing to become better , appreciate yourself. You are scared because of this thoughts of giving up because of what you did and your position. When I think about things that life did to me this what goes through my head, you need to overcome whatever life throws at you, it's all a game. You gotta be driven into life and go over the fear of failing in whatever you try, because you only fail when you stop trying (Known quote) keep on going, f*CK whatever happens. When you chase fear you become better at such situations because he isn't stronger as he was.
     
    Shadow™輝ツ and RogerFM like this.
  3. Joseph Campbell

    Joseph Campbell Fapstronaut

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    I think that fear probably never goes away, or even lessens. But if you continue confronting your fears, really facing them to the point of getting the shakes and a short breath, and coming out the other end in one piece and all the better for it, I feel like your perspective eventually will change, which is the important thing.

    I've heard it said that nervousness and excitement are two sides of the same coin, that total horror and total ecstasy meet on the spectrum of emotion... Someone like that savage of a motivational human being David Goggins comes to mind. A man who lived through hell growing up and was just about destroyed on a gut and soul level, decided to voluntarily face pain, again and again and again, and as a grown man to create his own hell and live in it, understand it... Well, you can see it in his eyes and hear it in his voice, he is an enlightened individual, and he not only welcomes hell but is visibly excited at the opportunity to face his fears. He's an obvious example of a guy that through voluntary exposure to fear, flipped his perspective so that instead of interpreting the existential shakes as nervousness, he feels them as excitement, as motivation and as vitality.
     
    RogerFM likes this.
  4. We live in an insecure time, in the West. I've felt it in my bones most of my life. Self-improvement is a way to bear the fear more manfully, for me.
     
    Joseph Campbell and RogerFM like this.
  5. RogerFM

    RogerFM Fapstronaut

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    Well, amor fati it's then, thank you all, I'll keep moving forward, fear be damned.
     
  6. Joseph Campbell

    Joseph Campbell Fapstronaut

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  7. Di.Do.555

    Di.Do.555 Fapstronaut

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    What kind of exercise are you doing?
     
  8. RogerFM

    RogerFM Fapstronaut

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    Walking almost everyday and weight lifting and push ups.
     
  9. Suki

    Suki Fapstronaut

    Did you try meditation? It can help you to clear your mind, control your emotions and fight anxiety.
     
  10. Just remember that everyone feels fear, even the bravest people. The only difference between a coward and a brave person is how they react to fear. Brave people are willing to face their fears because they know that it will benefit them in the end, cowards fail to acknowledge this because they're too busy focusing on the consequences of failure.
     
    The Symbol of Hope likes this.
  11. Well said! When I am afraid (which barely happens) I try to calm down and embrace that fear. It feels like hugging something dark and spiked which hurts but when I don't let go I feel strong and my fear is gone.
     
  12. RogerFM

    RogerFM Fapstronaut

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    So, lately I've been thinking a lot about my life, the decisions I have made and where I am now, throughout most of my life I felt something missing, something that I couldn't fill with work, companionship, games or any sort of pleasure. I've always thought that at least my job would give meaning to my life, then I lost my job, then I got another job and the same feelings of loss remained. I drifted for so many years like that, I thought it would be a matter of appearance, then I tried to dress and take care of myself more, it helped, for a while; then women, hell, even men, but nothing, I remained dead inside. Years would pass, I would get older, I would worry about other things like family, work or just keeping myself alive and anxiety and depression were my only true companions. I would always try to chase happiness, grasp it in my hands for a while and then watch it slowly drain until I had nothing. Funny that, in all those years I never thought about life, like really intensely, what did I want in life, what would be my long term goals, what objective and mark in the world I wanted to leave in it. So through that meditation I was able to see myself exactly as I was, broken and empty, no fucking wonder I've always been unhappy. No wonder I blamed my parents, the decease I had, other people, it was easier. Easier than to accept a simple truth, life, in itself is struggle, it's pain and the occasional happiness. So, in accepting that life in itself is uncaring and happiness isn't such a lofty goal to chase but something that descends upon you, the same way that unhappiness and cruelty does, equally, amongst good and bad people. At first this randomness scared me, but, through reading and a lot of reflection, turns out, that the best you can do, is not chase happiness, but fulfillment.

    The best possible thing one can do is trace a trajectory based on morality and fulfillment, and this morality is as simple as do good, but, not exactly good, in a cheesy goody-two-shoes, or following what the bible says, although you can do it as well; but to develop a moral compass that is aligned to what will make you fulfilled when you die, of if you die chasing it. Sure, its better if it aligns with what is best for society and specially those closer to you, friends, family, community you name it. But, if you have a purpose, all you can do is chase it and to the hell with any obstacles, life, is pain and suffering, but I believe each one of use are imbued with the strength to transcend it, in fact we need to use all that is bad as fuel, otherwise what is the point of having morals if they arent put to the test. Its painful and harsh, you'll lose a lot and have to make many sacrifices. And if you dedicate yourself to it, brave your fears and accept discomfort, eventually, little by little, anxiety subsides, fear will always exist, but, wont control any longer and at least, you can find peace and if you're really lucky, from time to time genuine happiness, free from the anxiety of losing it again. Sure you can still make bad decisions, you can make terrible ones and you can and sometimes will fail, but, if you at least set yourself to live morally and a fulfilled life and you fail, what else is there to torment you? You did your best, that defeat in itself, would still be much less painful than aimlessly wander through life without a single purpose.

    anyway, sorry for the long text.
     
    Joseph Campbell likes this.
  13. Ashen One

    Ashen One Fapstronaut

    I'm afraid all the time. I'm afraid of myself and of what I can do. I always tell myself that I won't give up and that in moments of stress I will do nothing until I have clearer thoughts. But I'm afraid of my instability.

    Yesterday I thought about disappearing, but I went to sleep instead. Now, I'm thinking like: "dude, wtf... stop having this thoughts". Maybe it is inevitable, but I'll always try my best to remember that the real me is the one that doesn't give up.
     
    Bonhart likes this.
  14. Ashen One

    Ashen One Fapstronaut

    I hope you are right. I want you to be right.
     
  15. Bonhart

    Bonhart Fapstronaut

    Spoken like a true Joestar.
     
    Ashen One likes this.
  16. Joseph Campbell

    Joseph Campbell Fapstronaut

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    @RogerFM, hey, I enjoyed reading your stream of consciousness, I think you're right too. I think that maybe even some kind of transcendent meaning is intrinsic to the space and time that's lead up to your life in the here and now. Not to get too woowoo, but I think that a lot of people on here beat themselves up for a past filled with a lot of nihilism, and I really do think that for a lot of people, like myself, we have to experience that area of life to find our way, and that the trip through the mud and the shite is the path, and if you can integrate that grit, you'll be a much broader individual moving forward now and have a much much more interesting perspective than someone whose never had to really sit with themselves and these extremely ancient and perplexing questions of individuality and purpose and destiny and all that, never stop contemplating and wondering, and thinking and fighting!
     
    Ashen One likes this.

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