Brand New Days Ahead (20 day newbie)

Hello Community,
I am brand new to this ..so forgive me if my story takes some time.

A few years ago, I had traumatic experience ie almost fatal car wreck that affected me for some time. I went into a freeze mode of sorts (google: fight, flight, and freeze). Anyhow, I was very anxious and on top of this; I had broken up with a woman that I was seeing. Lastly, the job that I was working at did not go as promised and I had to quit. With the accident, job loss, and partner loss, I was literally feeling worthless. I resorted to looking at sex sites and doing the whole fap thing to porn, online dating sites, and essentially just dating women for sex. After a year or so, I began to get my life on track and began looking into my failings. I came across the whole NoFap ideas. At first, I was skeptical...I grew up being told masturbation was healthy; ie its better to masturbate than get a girl pregnant, etc, etc..Anyhow it's been 20 days since I last resorted to giving into my urges and began using my executive functions to focus elsewhere...20 days since grabbing myself and staring at a screen. Through self-control, I have learned that I have not been acting like a man, but a child. I have reduced relationships and opportunities in my life that I may have benefited from. I have hidden myself away from the world to obsess over non-sense. I am awakening my inner giant as well. An attractive woman approached me for my phone number today. No lie. My overall presence, posture, attention, focus, drive, energy, skin, etc. have had improvements.. . I will explain further...

I am truly finding retention of sperm to be a positive choice in my life. Before I was obsessing over my environment, but now I tend to literally own my behaviors towards others and my interactions. Interaction with women, co-workers, family, and classmates. My attitude was childish like the act of staring at screens and giving into impulses. Impulses are natural; I am beginning to understand myself more. I feel like I am able to have a sense of humor again as well. I will put a list of benefits:

- positive outlook on life
- no over-reacting to situations (someone cuts in front of you driving, in line, etc.)
- being more conversational
- being able to look others in the eye
- having a positive attitude towards women and relationships
- not reducing everything sex
- not being jealous in others, but confident in my own future plans
- joining more meet-up groups for the right reasons
- better focus on exams
- skin clearer (hair feels stronger)
- posture improved
- more care-free, less anxious in social situations - starbucks line, grocery market
- lower voice (everyone says this, but true)
- appreciation for nature and my place in it
- feeling good for others / real, sincere empathy as a human to another
- not afraid to be myself, but able to control my verbal responses
- setting goals, getting organized
- lifts are improving in squat, bench
- not being anxious around women

I don't see a lot of these as super-powers; this is me just being me. A man wanting to help others succeed and one who is beginning to believe in himself again. I was one of the most skeptical people, but have found this experience to be positive.

 

So, this is real life.
The fact that is how you hold your self and converse in public with confidence.
Here is why is listed this example? I have been taking a professional development course on the weekends.
During lunch time, the entire class goes out to lunch. I hadn't really spoken much to a younger woman in the class.
As I stood in line, I was joking and had a positive vibe with my fellow classmate whom I drove over there with.
She approached me after we ordered our drinks and was facing me .. eye contact ..etc. She seemed very aloof during class and before classes in the hallway.
What I am saying here in a long winded way is that you are able to be more confident and social in public. With this gain, I am assuming people want to be around it.
People, women, etc.. want to be around someone that offers humor, kindness, and openness ... not quietness and skepticism.
My recommendation is to give it 30-45 days.. mind more clearer.. and open to receive rather than judge.

 

No prob.. It's not about the numbers, its' the outlook. When you reach 30 days NoFap, assess pros and cons. For me, I have joined meetup groups on the weekends and have developed a more open mindset. On the weekend, I go to a free yoga meetup class. I had never done this before... this added another dimension to everything. Also, being around a positive atmosphere focused on relaxation and meditation is awesome.