Missing old porn videos

This has caused me to relapse more time than I can count. Don't fall for it. Those videos might be nostalgic for literally 2 seconds but they will bring you no happiness. You need to find a way to deal with boredom. Maybe get a hobby or start playing games. Congrats on 30 days!

 

I also had ED from NoFap. I think its normal. It comes back if you have regularly sex with your gf. ED can also be linked directly to your depression. Go see a doctor about it. Depressions are treatable. Don't sit in your chamber and feel sorry about yourself. Take responsibility for your life.

You are not missing out of porn. That is an illusion. Haven't you ever felt guilty about watching porn after nutting? Your brain wants the dopamine of seeing naked women (or men?? xD). And your brain is not getting this dompamine, so it says "James, remember the good old days. With your dick in your one hand. And you were watching porn for hours. Ever new porn. Wasn't that exiting?" But to be realistic: How can porn really be new? Haven't you seen it all already, if you are 30? If you have seen thousands of naked women, there is not so much difference in them, is there? And the sex positions and acts are limited aswell.
You don't need distraction, but a purpose in your life. Fix your life. Focus on your career. Get your room in perfect order. Meet with friends. Find a gf. Girls don't come to your flat and ring and say "I would like to be your gf." You need to get out and meet new people. Do sports, get fit. Start cooking healthy (that consumes time aswell, at least at the beginning). Learn an instrument. Learn a new language. Read!! Read about psychology, about philosophy, or about a specific skill. You can do so much with your life. You can learn so much. Every skill is useful. Everything is getting handy. Maybe pick up online chess (if you want, you can challenge me). Just sitting unproductively at home will not better your depression. It worsens it.

 

It is a life long journey of bettering your life. Noone is ever at the point, where he is perfect. And the feeling of beeing a successful can be a hard trial aswell, since one lets his guard down.

I am happy for you that you start studying. Be aware, that you have to work hard for that from the very beginning. Aim high, as high as you can. Try to achieve an A in every exam. I am very smart myself and got my high school diploma with very good grades without doing something for it. My friends aswell. But we were arrogant and did not work enough for the study, watched porn and played LOL, so we all dropped out of our first study, getting surpassed by diligent people on their second educational pathway that were workers before.
If you don't have anything to do atm, you could concider studying ahead. That will give you an impression what is demanded of you. And if you find the topic interesting, all the better. But let me tell you this: You will not finish your study by doing something you like. Its more like grinding and hard work even if you are tired, uninterested, sad, lonely and low energy. Its not easy, but if you have graduated and your diploma, you are happy af. I can tell you that. You will feel the acomplishment and the hunger for more.

I don't like dating apps btw. You are in disfavour in comparison to the women. Even the ugly ones get 100+ matches daily. Better find a gf in real life. Much easier there. And they are nicer in rl aswell. Online they feel like they can do and say everything (same goes for men btw. remember bobs and vagene indian memes. That is the other side of the same medal). So online dating is harming might harm your self esteem.

I have the same problem that every day looks the same due to corona. It is a hard trial. Do you have contact to other people? Maybe you can telephone to your parents, grand parents, uncles, nieces etc.? Or to your friends?

 

Based on my own experience, the missing, depression, and libido issues you note here are pretty standard withdrawal symptoms. As withdrawal symptoms, they can have a pretty sticky and pretty compelling logic to them. What I mean by this is they can, in moments of vulnerability, lead to acting out. 'Oh come on. Just one look. You miss us and we miss you sooooo much...'

Given this, it's great that you have an awareness of their presence in your life and a desire to do something different. Both are key. In terms of what that 'do' might look like, trying making a list of ten things you could engage other than longing for lost porn. Seriously, make a list. Then, when the longings return, go to that list, pick on ting, and do it.