Dated but Never Been in Love...

Hey guys, I wasn't sure which forum this belonged in, since it's a dating theme, but I'm in my early 30s so I thought maybe it should go there. I don't know.

I just hit the 60 day mark, and between days 60 and 90 I want to try to start dating again. Although I feel like I've hit my stride in life and that I'm doing better than ever before, as I prepare to go back on the market I'm deeling with a persistent negative voice in my head:

I've never been in love. I've had a handful of relationships that lasted between 2 weeks and 4 months, with a few hookups sprinkled in. But I've never been close to falling in love and I've never had a relationship that was really emotionally close or deep. It's not a good feeling to be dating someone and to always have this sense that I'm expendible, that sense that it obviously won't last.

I guess in every case I felt like there wasn't a real connection. I was just something to keep these girls busy. I guess this was just my own lack of value back then, or my own problems. Or maybe I was purusing the wrong women. It's just that all the women I pursued who I really, really liked always shot me down. So I guess I've always dated what I could 'get', even for a short while.

I know this negativity only makes me more unattractive, but it isn't easy to shake these difficult insecurities. A part of me wonders if I'll never fall in love. I have college degrees, a career I love, many good friends, hobbies and passions. I am fit and although I have acne scars I also know I am handsome. Most importantly, I am a good person; I'm not a 'nice guy'. I am decent and compassionate. I have integrity. This all makes me a solid match, but I can't shake the feeling that I'll never find a woman to pair with long term.

Maybe if I keep having bad luck I'll just focus on my career, my friends/social circle, and doing my best to make the world a better place. I really love working with refugee groups living America for example.

Is anyone else out there dealing with similar feelings, or better yet, has anyone else overcome these feelings?