Can’t stop relapsing.

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Stoolie69, Aug 10, 2020.

  1. Stoolie69

    Stoolie69 Fapstronaut

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    Sup boys! This is my first post on nofap and I just have a quick question! Does anyone know how to stop relapsing? I can go a 1-3 days at best then I’ll relapse for a couple of days and start again. I really just wanna quit for my future, I can’t even get hard anymore and I fucking hate it. Anyone have anything that has helped them stop relapsing? Anything would help!
     
  2. Meditation, exercise and good habits is what made me quit porn for 77 days and counting.

    Exercise will direct that sexual energy somewhere, meditation will give you the mental clarity to resist those urges and good habits will make you grow as a person and maintain motivation for NoFap.

    Trying to quit mindlessly will get you nowhere, you must be methodical. I also suggest coming up with a reason for quitting PMO and reminding yourself of it everyday. The reason must be air-tight, though. No way for you to rationalize and trick yourself into relapsing.
     
    thikk likes this.
  3. Bro you are asking a question that doesn't have a simple answer. It really depends on how you respond to certain treatments. If there was a simple answer that applies to everyone, so many people around the world wouldn't be struggling with this addiction. I know some people prefer to hear answers like, website blocker, cold showers, exercise, etc. But again, it all depends on your background. Did you have a rough a childhood? Were your parents arguing and fighting a lot? What are your reasons for constantly looking at porn and relapsing? Do you feel you are ugly or inadequate? Reason i ask these questions is that some people have really tough backgrounds such as sexual abuse or sexual assault. In that case, they need to seek the right professional help and after they make some progress in healing with their trauma, they can then apply skill based techniques to treat their porn addiction such as good habits mentioned in the previous post. We all have our reasons for why we seek porn and relapse. You have to look inward and once you understand the root cause, then you can start to heal and eventually stop relapsing.
     
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  4. thikk

    thikk Fapstronaut

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    @sleepingdragon_3388 Really good comment there, it's made me change my position on nofap slightly. I strongly believe that staying in places/situations where you cannot pmo even if you wanted to is key, especially at the beginning when you cannot do a few clean days. The plan that worked for me was simple, get rid of devices when vulnerable (bed time, early morning etc), and only use them in public places during the day. Many people on nofap think that people do not take pmo as a serious addiction. Yet they would rather try all these things; cold showers, music, meditation, exercise (we all know the list) before they could ever consider making their devices inaccessible at vulnerable times. In a typical addiction, say alcohol, they wouldn't tell the addict to form new goals as a healing mechanism then leave them in a room full of booze. They get isolated in places where they cannot access the drug. Now those measures listed above are effective to some degree, but I feel that they work better when you can manage urges better. In short my view used to be;
    1)How to prevent relapse?
    2)Stay away from porn, and keep yourself in areas you cannot mo
    With your comment though I realise that people could be going through oyher things on top of their addiction and the plan I propose may not be that straightforward for them. Still makes sense though.
     
    sleepingdragon_3388 likes this.
  5. Mateo89

    Mateo89 Fapstronaut

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    Quit being weak. Distract or start dating.

    Mateo
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 12, 2020
  6. thikk

    thikk Fapstronaut

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    Lol. Tbh sometimes I feel like writing this regarding amny issues on nofap. E.g. 1) p makes you pmo, then only use your devices in public areas. You are an adult, not a child, you do not have to have people giving you tips on how to change. However, addictions can be tricky and can trap us in weird ways. Also many people have underlying issues that make the nofap journey more difficult. So I try to be more understanding nowadays. I do lose patience with people who keep repeating the same things then ask for help for relapsing. Like dude, if willpower, cold showers, exercise blah blah are not working then maybe you need to keep your phone away at bed time or when you're alone. If you have to use devices set up during the day in a sitting area or the office. Etc. But it is a very confusing time.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 12, 2020
  7. Stoolie69

    Stoolie69 Fapstronaut

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    Bruh honestly this might’ve been the most helpful reply lmao
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 12, 2020
    thikk likes this.
  8. runner0424

    runner0424 Fapstronaut

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    I relapsed twice after 6 months or so from porn each time. I’m currently 6 months and 1 day or so free from that relapse.

    I have learned a lot in my struggle with porn. One, is what triggers me. A lot on the internet and tv triggered me(seeing beautiful women). I believe my last relapse was super bowl halftime show, I didn’t relapse that night, but like a week or two after it, but those images stayed with me and I kept wanting more, even after 6 months.

    I also researched And watched videos of the science behind it all and it releases dopamine In your brain and scary how the addiction can become when I thought I could control it.

    the ways I feel like I have conquered it for good was that I had my wife put in an adult filter password that I don’t know what it is(it could be a friend if not married). It’s my backup plan when having a bad day and can’t see the adult sites. I also don’t watch shows that could trigger me and try to turn my head if I think a scene is coming. More importantly though, I have really grown in my faith with God. I have listened to so many sermons on temptations and that has helped me tremendously. Rick Warren and Greg Laurie are 2 of my favorites and have helped me a ton!! I learned about all the garbage I was putting in my mind. The analogy was how we have to watch what we eat, we can’t eat McDonald’s fried food every meal without bad consequences, the same thing applies with what you consistently put in your mind.

    Running also helps me. You feel a sense of accomplishment after running or lifting weights.

    Hopefully this helps and try and learn as much as possible and avoid whatever gets you tempted and triggered. Get going on another streak and make it a lifestyle change and don’t beat yourself up if you have a relapse. Just learn from it and keep trying to do better.
     
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