Took Sister's Underwear

It is often the case that what we watch and even fantasise about is not what we would do in real life. It is just that in our pursuit of the most intense orgasm possible, we are willing to go to dark places. I read your thread from last year. You do seem to have an 'interest' in mid-teen girls. Like I said that does not mean you have that interest in real life. Is one of your porn genres incest, like father/daughter or brother/sister. It is the forbidden nature of something like that which can make it so arousing. Putting on your 15 year old sisters panties may also seem forbidden, making it highly arousing. You need to be honest about what you like and why.

 

Yes, I understand that Josh. How about wearing and masturbating in female underwear. How does that feature in your sexual desires? Do you like the idea of crossdressing?

It is true. Just soft porn photos were all we needed at the start. But the reward circuits light up to novelty, risky and taboo genres. It is hard to control the appetite when it has been ingrained for several years. It sounds like you need to reset your counter btw.

 

You are welcome. I hope that getting this stuff off your chest has helped in some way.

I compiled some ideas to help with a successful streak. Try just one or two at a time and find out what works for you.

https://forum.nofap.com/index.php?threads/the-rebooting-toolbox-tips-and-tricks.236156

 

Hey man, I haven't been in your exact situation, but I've done some morally reprehensible things involving masturbation as well that have caused me a lot of guilt, and I think I can offer some advice.

To begin, know that what you're feeling is normal. Our sexuality can lead us to dark places if it is uncontrolled. It doesn't mean that what you did was right, but addiction can make you do awful things, and it can take time to recover from that. Just because you've done bad things, doesn't mean you're a bad person, always remember that. I've personally learned from the bad things that I've done, and used it to become an even better person than before.

Guilt might be one of the worst emotions to feel. It can feel like hell in your own mind. It will get better with time. Keep yourself busy, and do things that make you feel morally good, to prove to yourself that this mistake didn't define you.

Good luck brother.

 

Would you like to share what things have caused you this guilt and how you dealt with it Philip?

 

Sure, I'm sure there's some things that I'm forgetting but there's two big things that caused me a lot of guilt.

The first is that I jerked off with girls' bikinis whenever I had the opportunity. This would include friends and friends' girlfriends. To this day, none of my friends involved know that I did this.

The second is jerking off on Omegle. I would spend hours a day doing this, and it always felt awful afterward. Sometimes it was to underage girls, and sometimes I wouldn't even know who was on the other side of the screen.

The latter is how I got into nofap. I discovered I had a huge problem. I thought that I might never get over the guilt, but as I've talked to a therapist and started taking my behavior more seriously it's gotten a lot better over time, and I feel a lot better about myself as a person. It's been over a year since I've done the Omegle stuff, and many years since I've jerked off with bikinis, and I know that I've left that behind me.

 

Alright Phil, if you are only 23 now and were therefore a teenager when you were doing this - surely teenage boys are given some license to do dirty things - I wonder how many of your pals were doing exactly the same thing when you weren't looking. As long as you realise they aint great things to be doing as an adult, which you seem to, I wouldn't beat yourself up about it too much. Out of interest what did the therapist say when you told them about this?

 

This is interesting and I hope it is helpful to you @joshjohnson47. I agree talking about stuff is the key. When we wank and watch sex, it is a very secretive behaviour. We are paranoid about being "caught" and we cover our tracks, lie etc. So, undoing that behaviour is important. This forum is an opportunity to disclose the dark stuff we have done. Even better is confession to a person in real life. A therapist, a priest, a valued friend or family member. It is liberating to finally admit I have done this, this and this... holding nothing back. It brings a wonderful sense of relief. It is a beginning from which you can step out on your journey of recovery.

 

The bikini stuff was more as a teenager, but jerking off on Omegle wasn't that long ago. I can't completely remember the discussion I had with my therapist, but they told me it was brave to admit and they kept me accountable with nofap. Most of the advice I gave to @joshjohnson47 was stuff I discovered on my own, but it was still helpful to have someone to talk to

 

So it seems like the fetish comes from feminizing yourself rather than sleeping with your sister. At least rest assured of that. Anyway, you need to fight these temptations when they arise again. I know it can be tempting. But let's be honest. Do you want to be the guy who masturbates in women's underwear? Try to remember that.

 

It was very courageous of you to post this and I am sure that many of us have faced such compulsive urges at some time in our lives. And . . . many of us would bury such events deep in our souls, insisting that we would take it to our graves. But such events will eat at us and possibly destroy us if we don't find some way to clear our conscience and move on. You have, in effect, confessed to what you have done - not to your sister, or to your family, but to some part of the world that is outside of yourself. That takes tremendous courage and the best way to heal and move forward after what happened.
My advice: Do not tell your sister. Do not tell anyone in your family. There is nothing you can do to make it right, but the best thing that you can do is . . . not do it again. You can help other people who struggle with compulsive sexual activity (on NoFap, in recovery programs, through the legal system). I volunteered for a little while with juvenile sex offenders. It really helps to see the humanity in everyone. No one is really a bad person at their core, but a lot of us are sick people. Some are sicker than others. What we all need is healing. By sharing your experience, you are helping others to heal. Chances are there are other guys on this site who read your post and thought "I did something really similar to that. I'm not alone." And, often times, we can forgive others easier than we can forgive ourselves. That's why it helps to share with others. Chances are you might never forgive yourself for what you did, but if you start to experience compassion for others, you might in turn have more compassion for yourself.

One last thought - do something nice for your sister. Don't make a big deal out of it. Just do something nice for her, because she's your sister. She deserves it.

 

becarefull bro

u know well where this is going to led,, and i just hoped that your porn is not a typical like ur sister,, u know the genre with 15 years or sister in law kinda of porn

its complicated to stop,, because its like doing a dangerous thing's something like sky diving or speed racer,,, u had this adrenaline thing's when u do the steal process and when u succesfull doing that,, u will kinda reward...+ u faped to it make ur dophamine sparks.... its a combination of damnation if u could say adrenaline + reward+high dopamine


my sugestion is,, u moving from your house, get some decent job or college....and comeback once you mastered the nofap monk mode 9 month lol,,,

no it serious , ur sister will grow by the time,, can you handle that ?

 

That describes it so well. The first time I did an act similar to the OP, I'm sure that the adrenaline rush was bigger than the sexual arousal, but when you put the two together it creates a veritable cocktail of intense emotions/arousal/dopamine rush that I felt compelled to do it again and again. I would add shame to the mix as well. I would feel ashamed of what I did which would add more emotional fuel to my sexual arousal and when I did things that involved a risk of getting caught . . . I would get both incredibly excited by the risk but also a shame rush as I imagined that perhaps I should be caught . . . as if part of me sensed that I needed to be caught in order to stop the perverted behaviour.

Let that be a warning to the OP from someone who kept on going. I'm sure you had a HUGE dopamine rush when you did that but it can be harder and harder to resist urges if you don't drastically change course now. Definitely a good idea to try for a long period of NoFap, otherwise you'll probably eventually gravitate towards porn that involves some compelling mix of risk and shame.

Well, of course not. And yet . . . my addicted mind would have said "yes, please". I could give lot of example of where my panty fetish went but then I'd have to give a lot of trigger warnings as well. Let's just say that I ended up wearing panties nearly all the time and for years I would fantasize about certain women* finding out that I was indeed the guy who masturbates in women's underwear.

*by certain women, I generally mean attractive young female friends of mine . . . not my co-workers, my boss or my family. But isn't that how fantasies work?? And yet, by acting them out we run some very real risks of the wrong people finding out.

Again, I share that as a warning to the OP. I did not have the courage to talk about what I did. I kept it secret and eventually my addiction (my sickness) took me to a place where I really thought that was what I wanted in life - to be the guy who masturbate's in women's underwear.

And what have I done in the last few years to heal from that?
NoFap. Hardmode. Throwing away all of my women's underwear and all of my porn.

 

Did anyone ever find out?

Also, this post right here shows why we need NoFap. It doesn't just stop in front of the screen. It can very easily bleed into the real world.

 

Short answer: not really.
At least, not relative to the number of times that I "acted out". A friend caught me wearing panties. A stranger caught me masturbating in the woods. Perhaps some of my activities were suspected . . . maybe some people did discover things and chose to keep it to themselves . . . or maybe a lot of people talked about it without me knowing.

The thing with compulsive behaviour, or lack of impulse control, is that it can lead to more of the same behaviour and/or it can lead to other risky behaviours. One of my challenges has been compulsive masturbation, which means not being able to resist the urge to masturbate at times when it might be really inappropriate - at work, in public. There is a great risk of getting caught in the act, but also of getting caught with a wet spot in the front of your pants (I would sometimes intentionally "spill" something on my pants in hopes that once it dried the semen stain would no longer be obvious) . . . and it might have raised some eyebrows when I would disappear from work for a little while and come back wearing a new pair of pants

It's entirely possible that someone saw or suspected something and just thought, "ew, gross!" and then simply tried to push the thought out of their minds. As addicts, we are very self-centered. We think the whole world is thinking about us, but in reality, most everyone out there would really rather not think about our penises, what underwear we are wearing and our masturbation habits.