Considering Suicide (no longer)

@bestme996 no driver’s license = no job. I had a look on Jora a job website for an IT Help Desk job one of the ads listed “valid driver’s license with no driving restrictions” and 3+ years experience working in help desk. That last part is probably not mandatory but I still need a driver’s license, until then I can’t get a job or live alone, I can’t go to the supermarket for groceries. I have a my own car to practice in but can’t go for a drive for these 6 weeks. I realised that the media is compulsively lying two days ago, watching the news made me depressed big time so no more of that. My plan is to wait this lockdown out, if it is extended for another 6 weeks or escalated to stage 5 then I don’t know what to do. The thought of this lasting for years is crushing, until the cases stop rising there will always be a lockdown.

 

One thing I know is that if that is the goal, starving people would do ANYTHING to survive so people would be killing each other to be first in line for a microchip or vaccine if it meant getting rations from the government. If the gas stations close down, there won’t be fuel to distribute food the supermarket shelves would be empty. At that point the hysteria would be so great that there would be riots and people would be welded to their homes like what happened in China. If they escape their homes they would be executed for endangerment of the population. Only way to work and eat would be to be vaccinated, chipped and be in complete obedience to the state.

 

Thanks guys I don’t feel like dying anymore. I was in a dark state these few weeks I didn’t even realise it. Now I’m fine because I have plan to escape the crazy devil that’s living with me. With regards to the coronavirus I’m not watching any media anymore. No matter how bad it gets I’m stronger because I know it’s all a lie.

 

This makes me happy to hear it. Never make permanent decisions based upon feelings, because regularly feelings change with time and place.

Good luck to you!

 

Stop talking you have no idea what you’re talking about. If you cared so much about those 8 year olds why don’t you go and help them? You’re actually contributing to those kids’ situation by buying McDonalds and smartphones and electronics and growing up in the west, to cope with how amazing your life is slaving away at a 9-5 job to barely afford to put food on the table. There are less suicides in third world countries because their life is simpler. Nobody is going through an existential crisis and being mentally destroyed because they can’t find food and water in third world countries. They have a strong sense of community that doesn’t exist in western society. In western society it’s every man for himself and if someone is suffering they are told to get on with it and bottle up their emotions and your previous post really summed up how you’re contributed to making that even worse.

 

I hear you.

Australia has a reputation for being one of the most repressive hyper-left Western societies to live in. It sounds really tough - way worse than we have it over here.

One of the best things that happened to me was that my radio broke right after the start of Covid. I hear everything I need to hear second-hand from everybody who's a slave to the mainstream media, and that's most people. Before that, the non-stop barrage of negativity really got to me, and there was one day when I didn't want to go to the shop in case I caught this supposed virus.

Now, though, I just feel normal. Luckily I have work to do. Not sure how I'd feel if I was stuck in the house all day, but stepping back from the media, and looking for alternative news sources is one suggestion I can make to you.

It can't hurt - why not take a break from all the programming? It's designed to ruin your nerves; don't help the bad guys in their quest to destroy you.

 

Infantilization by narcissistic abuse is one of the worst things that can happen to a human being. Your soul has been stolen, and no-one will understand this except someone else who's been through it. The pain is something that shouldn't be allowed to happen, and it's all the worse because there's no relief and you can't reason with your abuser, it just opens your soul up to further vampirism.

Just hold on till Covid passes, then leave and break all contact. There are bound to be emergency accommodation arrangements where you are. You don't need to drive to get a job and start paying your own rent, even if it's washing dishes (this is actually a really good low-key job for being left alone to let your soul start healing, which will take a maddeningly long time).

At least you know there's someone out here who hears what you're saying. Just hold on, is all I can say, and never trust an instinct that keeps you bound to your abuser out of pathological empathy. When it's time to go, it might feel like an insane impulse not to be trusted, but you have to start learning to trust and act on your own thoughts, feelings and impulses NO MATTER THE CONSEQUENCES.

 

Great post!

Also, it's true. The first time I stood up to my main abuser, it felt like having some sort of spiritual orgasm, because I realised I could do it. The build-up was absolutely horrible, but afterwards, it was like "What now?" Granted, I was in a physically different location, but you might be able to do it where you are, if you need to. You do have rights that are protected by law, even if this is hard or impossible to recognise for you right now.

A really, really useful tip I got from a YouTube video on dealing with narcissistic abuse is not to reason with the narcissist, but just to stick to the point. Only interact when you have to, express your point in as short a sentence as you can, and stick to that sentence. Repeat it over and over, and don't rise to the emotional bait they throw at you. Let them go crazy with all their manipulative tactics - you'll have to learn to weather all the negative emotions of fear, dread and doubt that they stir up inside you and still not let go of your nerve. Listen to what they say, and address it directly and literally. This can be very hard if they've been gaslighting you, so just take the point of what they're saying, and ask for clarification, until they clarify what they're saying and can't shift positions on you.

I know I'm cramming a lot in here, but your time would be very well spent watching every YouTube video you can on this stuff, instead of listening to Covid fearmongering. Here, start with this woman:

 

Don't get trapped by hopelessness. Get a flat with the supplement money, and get a job in the neighbourhood of the flat. Take any flat, and get any job. Cross the other bridges if and when you come to them. YOU HAVE TO LEAVE THE NARCISSIST AT ALL COSTS, OR HE OR SHE WILL KILL YOU. These words will look crazy to anyone who hasn't been through this thing, but I don't care. Pray to God for a moment of strength, even if you don't believe in God. Just do it, and when the moment comes, get out of the door, and DO NOT LOOK BACK.