Hugging the cactus

It is fantastic that you have found the strength to open up about this here and at your church. Hopefully that is the first step to embracing life more positively. Good luck

 

Plz don't hug a cactus! It would hurt a lot.
I wish you happiness and joy, may you find both in your life soon.

 

I think he did, he's just adding a layer of humour. Now it's time for a cute cactus and hedgehog ...

 

Everything is going to get better ! Always remember that. After all the suffering there is ALWAYS good times to come. Rest assured!

Cliche I know , but it’s quite true. Might take a bit longer for some , but it eventually happens.

 

Yup, that's right... I tried to get a laugh out of the OP. Pity, that it failed.

 

This is so relatable for me. I can be social and have fun with people from church and stuff but I always bristle at the idea of getting really open with anyone. It's really ironic because the one thing I want more than anything is to have just one person that I CAN open up to about everything, preferably a wife (eventually). I even feel hurt just seeing women I'm interested in get boyfriends because, even though I was too shy to actually talk to them, it still feels like indirect rejection. I have opened up about some of this to a counselor and one or two close guy friends at my church but, being an overthinker, I'm constantly worried that I'm talking about my issues too much and I'll either bore them to death or just get irritating.

I used to be *too* open in relationships or with romantic interests but that has led to me getting hurt so many times that I have pretty much quit trying to find anyone anymore. I'll get excited if someone even hints that they might possibly have been interested in me at some point but catch myself and pull back, reminding myself of what happened the other times I got so excited.

Basically, what I'm getting at is you're on the right track. Acknowledging where you struggle and need to heal is always the first step to true healing. You'll always find plenty of support here and I would hope you'd get at least some of the support and love you need from your church friends and counselor as well! Keep it up! We're all in this together!

 

I think it just takes awhile to trust people and that's okay because there are a lot of people who aren't trustworthy. But there are also a lot of trustworthy people. Find people who are humble and understand their need for God. People who love others because they know that God loves them even though they're broken. If they don't understand their own brokenness they won't make good friends.

People who are self-righteous or are selfish are not good friends. But people who are loved by God and they love others because their identity is based in God's love not in their own righteousness or sin are the best friends. They don't need you to perform to be their friend. They also don't need you to be their ultimate friend because Jesus is already that friend.

Jesus loves you and I love you. Keep going! One day at a time!

 

This is exactly the place I find myself in now. It's one thing to simply say "I'm content with being single and truly love the person God made me to be" and quite another to truly believe it and live it out. That metaphorical line is one I've been trying to cross over for months now and it's a daily struggle for me.

However, even if I were to wake up tomorrow and suddenly find myself in a happy, committed relationship, I would still refuse to propose marriage to anyone until I have hit that 90-day reboot point at *minimum*. I've seen in other relationships how PMO can both directly and indirectly ruin things and I do not ever want to experience that again. The next time I confess my porn struggle to a romantic interest, it will be in the past tense and from a position of victory.